


Keep Pushing Me (Away)

by DominikaDecember



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bipolar Ian, Canon Compliant, Christmas, Dad Mickey, Domestic Bliss, Domestic Gallavich, Domestic Ian, Domestic Mickey, Ensemble Cast, F/M, Family Dinners, Fluff, Future Fic, Groceries, Insecure Mickey, Isolation, Jealous Ian, Jealous Mickey, M/M, OOC, SO MUCH FLUFF, Sexual Discovery, Sibling Love, Slightly - Freeform, adult yev, after 4x12, cheating Ian, dead svetlana, dead terry, discovering the gay, fluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuff, food is a big part of this fic, friendship is important, just a little, lol, mandy is awesome, mickey's annoying ex, more tags will come as this progresses, not much beer, not much drugs, not much smokes, not that much, parent love, pining mickey, serial dater ian, size queen mickey, some smut, some violence, such fun!, there's just no debate about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-24
Updated: 2014-12-31
Packaged: 2018-02-26 21:23:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 59,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2666810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DominikaDecember/pseuds/DominikaDecember
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life is a funny thing. One moment you're on top, the next you're in the biggest pile of shit anyone could ever imagine. Mickey learns this over and over again. Just because he's a father now and ten years have passed it doesn't mean that life will give him a break. Life is funny that way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Silver Lingings

**Author's Note:**

> I....don't even know. This is unbeta'd. So mistakes are my own. Apologies for offensive language. The characters will seem a bit OOC because I don't think I can write them well. I can only write them the way I can. I own nothing.

Four words, four words and he was back in South Side. The wind was tugging at his scarf, trying to unwrap the warmth and cause a cold that he really couldn't afford at the moment. He couldn't afford being back in South Side either but yet here he was. Because of those stupid four words. 

_'I had a baby.'_ Mandy's voice sounded cheerful and happy and what the fuck was that shit? Mickey looked out the window of the cab. He should have taken the L. He would have saved money and time. The traffic was ridiculous.

"Dad, I'm cold." Yev whined next to him. Mickey rolled his eyes but closed the window. The wind no longer bothering him. "Hey, d'you think I could go and see uncle Kevin?" Yevgeny asked bouncing in his seat. For a ten year old he liked to act like little kid. Mickey let it go though. He could never be a kid. Had to grow up fast. Too fast. Yev was still in the dark about sex when Mickey often witness his father fuck whores in the living room at his age.

"Maybe. But I don't know how long we'll be here." Mickey replied and expected a frown from his son which came immediately. Yev didn't like Los Angeles. It was too fast, too sunny, too crowded, too everything for Yev. He loved Chicago because of the snow, he said. Mickey knew better. Yev loved there were people here who'd stand up for him. He didn't exactly fit in with the neighbourhood kids or in school in LA. He looked violent and mean when in reality he was a puppy. Mickey made sure to teach Yev some self defense but he didn't want him to fight. And Yev didn't like to fight either. Sometimes Mickey wondered if the only Milkovich thing that Yev inherited was the look of a kid in trouble. 

"What about Liam? Can I go see him?" The cab finally moved, distracting Mickey for a moment. They were three blocks from his old neighbourhood. 

"Liam? Gallagher?" Yev nodded. "We're here for your aunt, to see the baby and then we're going back home. This isn't a social thing, Yev." Mickey's voice was sharp and annoyed. He didn't like using it with his son but being back here only brought back memories. Plus the Gallagher name stung. Yev crossed his arms and looked at his feet upset. Mickey felt instantaneously guilty. The cab driver remained silent, thank fuck. Just glanced at the two Milkoviches. They came up to the house and Yev jumped out quickly, excitement bubbling on his face again. Mickey paid his fare, grabbed the three bags the two of them brought and got out of the car just as quickly as his son but with a lot less enthusiasm.

The house was the same. But not the same at all. His eyes roamed the fresh paint, the yard was cleaned up and had some green. The windows were new. So was the door and the stairs. Yev ran excited and knocked hard on the door.

"A baby." He puffed and looked at Mickey with big eyes. "Wonder if it's a he or a she. D'you think I'll get to hold it? What if Aunt Mandy asks me to babysit? I am not prepared. I don't have the equipment. I need to read up on babies. Dad, remember. We're getting a baby encyclopedia."

"I don't think they do those, Yev." Mickey answered, amused. His son just scoffed and once again knocked on the door that open immediately to show a tired looking Lip Gallagher. He looked at Mickey and nodded before hugging Yev.

"Hey bud." He said to the ten year old who grinned up at him. "You had a nice trip?" Lip moved out of the way to let them into the house. A house which was a lot different than Mickey remembered. Freshly painted, new carpet, new furniture. The smell of pot and beer gone. No guns or knives on the floor. Lots of baby shit lying around. Yev started to tell the story of their less than epic journey from LA to Chicago in incredible detail as Mickey laid his bags down next to the brown couch. There were pictures on the walls. Another different thing and Mickey wondered how long it has been since he visited his sister.

Yev was three.

Mickey looked at the photos. They were mostly of Mandy and Lip but there was one of Tony and Iggy. They were in their prison uniforms and smiling at the camera behind the gate. Mickey couldn't help but snort at the lack of hair on Tony's hair. Fucker always pretended he was in some commercial for shampoo. Karma was a bitch.

A picture of Lana and Yev as a baby. Mickey thought that he should feel sad she was dead. He was fond of her in a way. But whores get killed. It happens. 

When Mickey had a chance he sent pictures of Yev to Mandy but never of himself. He didn't like them. Yet there was a a picture of him and Yev when his son was about four and Mickey crouching down, concerned. Mandy must have taken it when she came to visit. He shook his head and smirked. But his heart stopped when he moved onto the last photo.

It was the Gallagher clan. From the shitty tree in the back, it must have been Christmas. Mandy's hair was blonde here so it must have been last years. Fiona and Jimmy at the end of the table. Mandy and Lip next to them. Debbie with her boyfriend. Matty or something. Long term shit. Carl was with a girl he didn't recognise. Frank even pushed his head in somehow. Clearly he was taking the picture. Sober enough to take it. Liam was holding his hands up with a nervous smile, most likely worried that Frank would fall on him. The last Gallagher was sitting there smiling lazily at the camera.

Mickey let himself glance at the ginger for a microsecond before focusing on another face. It still felt like being punched in the gut. He hated he remembered so many details about the Gallagher family. Hated that he had a Gallagher as a brother-in-law. Hated that Mandy actually looked happy this time.

Someone jumped on Mickey's back startling him. He let out a gasp feeling off balance before turning to see his sister with her blonde hair. It looked fairly natural on her. 

"Hey cunt." 

"Assface." She smiled at him. That's another thing Mandy did now. Smile. All the freaking time.

"You been at the gym or something." Mickey asked looking at her arms that weren't as thin as they used to be. In fact they were toned. More toned than his own. And he had regular work outs with some pissy little shits that tried to rob him at night.

"All the gym I need is my husband's dick, you fat piece of shit." She laughed. She looked as tired as Lip. Babies fuck up the sleeping schedules too much. "Where's my nephew?" Mandy turned around and freaking skipped to the kitchen where Yev was still talking with Lip. 

"Aunt Mandy!" Yev yelled and hugged her tightly. She hugged him back just as tight. Lip walked to the living room and offered Mickey a bottle of coke. Mickey took it but looked at Lip curiously.

"We're trying this whole no drinking thing till Many stops breast feeding." 

"Damn."

"Yeah. With the constant crying, I sure could use a fucking drink." Lip observed him for a moment before asking if Mickey wanted to see the baby. Mickey nodded, letting Yev repeat his story to Mandy. Lip let him into what was now their bedroom but formerly Terry's. It was different. Much. The walls were light green and there was a huge bed. Clothes were neatly folded in an open closet. Nice shelves with books. Most were probably Lip's but he could see some that Mandy would go to the grave with. There was a crib next to the window. 

"Her name's Izzy." Lip said softly whilst leaning on the crib. The baby was small. 

"She's tiny." Mickey looked at Lip surprised who nodded.

"Came a month before she was supposed to. Spent two weeks in NICU." He took a sip of his coke. "But here she still is. Living strong."

"Fuck." Mickey stared at his sleeping niece and her small scrunched up face. "But her schedule is alright? She sleeping? Eating? Shitting?" Lip smirked and nodded again.

"She's like a regular fucking baby. Just compact sized. I've done baby shit before, you know. Mandy was sure she'd die. She still gets scared. Watches her for hours when she should be sleeping. And I watch them. That's why no beer. She wants to do everything right. Didn't even smoke since she found out she was pregnant." The two of them remained in silence staring at the baby and hearing the muffled noises of Mandy and Yev from the living room. "Glad you came. Wasn't sure you would."

"Wasn't sure myself. But Mandy and Yev pulling those puppy eyes at me fucks me up. She can do it better over the computer, I think. Fucking bitch."

"That's my wife." Lip defended Mandy with a smile on his face but knew Mickey didn't mean it. "You interested in the rest of the Gallagher clan?" 

"You had to ruin our bonding time." Mickey said shaking his head. Lip put his hands up in surrender and walked out of the room the smile turning into a smirk. "Your dad's a dick, kid." Mickey told the sleeping baby before following his suite. Yev asked Mickey if he could see the baby. "She's sleeping for the moment. How about we go see Kev and see her when she'll be up later?" Yev's eyes widened like saucers. 

"Really? You're not messing with me?" Mandy scoffed in the same way Yev did earlier.

"Fuck, you're adorable." She said pinching his cheeks. 

"Can I swear?" Yev asked excited, already pulling on his coat. Mickey still had his on. 

"No. And no to the beer. And put on your scarf. If you get ill, you'll never see your cousin."

"Damn straight." Mandy agreed. Mickey flipped her off when Yev was looking for his scarf. She flipped him off right back. Finally, Yev found his scarf in the stove for some reason and they started their walk to the Alibi. Mickey listened to Yev talk about what he would do with the baby when she grew up and about how he'll be the best cousin there ever could be. The small boy wanted to take her to castles and read her books and teach her the way of life and to make sure she'd be a kid for as long as possible because the adult life was stupid and had rules that just plain sucked. 

The Alibi looked exactly the same from the outside and exactly the same from the inside. Yev looked around, biting his lip the way similar to the way Mickey did before jumping onto an empty stool at the bar. Mickey recognised Frank Gallagher at the end before sitting down next to his son. Kevin was too busy telling Frank that Jews are not spies for the Russians to notice the two of them. Yev buzzed next to Mickey and fidgeted waiting for Kevin to look their way and when the older man did, Yev was satisfied to get the response he wanted. Kevin grinned with wide eyes and spread his arms wide open nearly knocking some bottles over.

"No way! My prodigy! Where have you been little man?" Kevin was older, put on some weight, his hair was longer and there were small streaks of grey coming through already. Mickey took in his appearance as Yev ran around the bar to hug him. Yev did that. Hug everyone. It was weird. Mickey wondered where he got that from. Yev laughed and ran back to sit next to his father. Mickey just nodded at Kevin and let the older man give him a pat on the shoulder. "Nice to see you too. You here for Mandy?" 

"Yeah, the baby."

"Yeah. She was having a hard time with it. Still is, I think. Nice she got a supportive bro."

"Ey." Mickey glared. "I ain't supportive. She fucking guiltted me to coming to this shit hole." Mickey felt himself slip back to the teenager that he was before leaving Chicago and didn't like it. He didn't want Yev to see that side of him. "How's the family?" Kevin grinned.

"Amy's a fucking genius. She's gonna go to college in four years."

"Isn't she like nine?"

"And already in middle school. Jemma is kicking ass in hockey. A bit Canadian but she's happy so I don't care. And Vee started a salon." Mickey frowned.

"Really? I thought she just worked at one."

"She did." Kevin's grin seemed to widen. "She kicked the bitch in charge out with some slave labour shit and now she owns it. My babies are bad ass." He looked off into the distance, with a pleasant expression on his face. Mickey congratulated him and Yev asked if he could help out serving drinks. Kevin looked at his father for permission and when Mickey shrugged, he said he would teach him some cocktails instead putting a beer in front of Mickey who took it graciously. 

As the cold liquid hit the back of his throat he stared at the Gallagher at the end of the bar. Drunk as always. A menace to society. Complaining about his disability allowance. Mickey's phone vibrated in his coat. He stifled a groan when he saw who it was.

"What?" He growled into the phone.

"I want to come home." The voice whined.

"Good luck with that. I'm sure your bitch of a mother will accept you with open arms."

"Michael." The voice sighed. "Please. Just because of one mistake, you're going to throw--" Mickey stood up and walked out of the bar quickly not wanting to have this conversation in front of Yev.

"One mistake?" He laughed bitterly. The cold slicing at his face. "Fuck that. You fucked around on me, I didn't give a shit but you brought your fucking drugged up ass into my house. You endangered my fucking kid with your shooting up in the bathroom and you expect me to just let it go."

"Michael, just listen--"

"No. You call me again, I'll fucking slash your wrists myself. Finish your job." He ended the call and took a deep breath to calm down. Charlie was nice. In the beginning. But then Mickey saw the signs of drug use. And then he recognised the cheating. A certain Gallagher made him remember those signs for life. 

Mickey closed his eyes and tried to stop thinking. Tried to stop imagining. He took another deep breath and relaxed his shoulders. His phone rang again. 

Charlie's name appearing on screen.

Mickey rejected the call and turned his phone off. The wind was tugging at his scarf and his breath was foggy. It would snow soon probably.

Mickey went back into the Alibi and finished off his bear.


	2. Wondering What Went Wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, unbeta'd. Also, please don't get your hopes up and expect updates this soon again because I know myself. It probably won't happen. Thank you very much for reading and leaving kudos. You guys make me want to write more. 
> 
> Again, characters are v ooc.

Mickey's room was cleaner. Lip and Mandy made it into a guest bedroom. Yev and him ended up sharing it because the other was turned into an office for Lip's less then legal activities. Or maybe now they were legal.

But even though it was a different room, the memories stayed the same. Mickey stared at the ceiling, his son soundly asleep next to him. He attempted to mute the memories. To blur them out of his vision. To get some sleep. It was futile. Mickey ran his hand over his face before getting up and taking a blanket with him. He looked around for some cigarettes and his lighter. Once he spotted them on the night stand, he left the room as quietly as possible. Yev didn't even move.

After throwing the blanket onto the couch, Mickey opened a window in the kitchen and put the cancerous smoke in between his mouth to not bring back the stench that his sister worked hard to dissolve.

He glanced at the living room. There were memories there too but somehow, the couch and the kid shit didn't bring them up as much as his old bedroom. Mickey didn't know how long he sat there, in the cold air staring outside. It must have been awhile because a scream of a crying baby startled him. Cursing, he closed the window and his cigarettes in a cupboard just as Mandy walked out of her bedroom with a crying Izzy in her arms. She didn't even notice him. It seemed like she was sleepwalking. Shushing the baby, patting her on the back, warming up a bottle. Mickey watched his sister be a mother. It seemed to come naturally to her. Like taking care of Yev came naturally to him. It was strange.

Two fucked up Milkoviches caring.

Mandy leaned against a counter top and sighed content as Izzy ate.

"Why aren't you sleeping, asswipe?" She asked with her eyes closed. Mickey stayed quiet still not sure if she wasn't sleepwalking. She opened her eyes and stared at him. They glimmered in the night for some reason. Her eyes always did that. He wasn't jealous. Not really. Yev's eyes also glimmered like that. But Mickey chalked that up to Yev being a kid.

She expected an answer. It was clear from the way that her now blonde eyebrows were raised.

"Your kid woke me up." Mickey replied. Mandy cocked her head to the side. "I thought you were breastfeeding."

"It's mama's milk. Just out of the tit. And your lying has gotten worse. Terry would be disappointed." Mickey felt his blood start to boil.

"Fuck Terry." He spat at her.

"Already did." Mandy spat right back. Mickey watched his sister. Clearly having a premature baby didn't make her any less of a bitch.

"I just don't do well in this house." Mandy rolled her eyes.

"Get the fuck over it. It's not the same place." Izzy stirred in her arms. "He's seeing someone."

"Who?" Mickey was confused by the change of topic. "Terry? I thought he was dead."

"You're an asshole. I'm talking about the reason why you can't sleep." Mickey heard his body collapse first. Then felt it. Mandy sat down on the ground opposite him. "It's nothing serious. It never is with him. Not the way it was with you."

"Mandy..." He pleaded, his voice barely a whisper. "I don't....I can't....This is a really bad time. I don't have space for Gallagher."

"Why?" Mickey closed his eyes and let his head lean back against the kitchen cupboard.

"My job. Yev. My life."

"What about that guy, Chuck?" Mickey's mouth grimaced at the memory.

"Charlie's gone."

"Again? See, you haven't been serious since Ian either." Mickey's eyes flew open at the name. His heart started pounding fast as he stared at Mandy.

"Yev shouldn't miss more school. We'll go back in two days." He gritted out. She made a scrunched up face that resembled her daughter.

"Yeah. 'Cause running away has always solved jack shit."

"Since when do you-----" He started snapping at her but she cut him off immediately.

"Since I got my shit together. I finished school. I got a job. I redid the house all by my fucking self. I got my legitimate driver's license. I got married. Got a kid that I was scared would die but didn't. Got people I can depend on and trust. Fuck I've even got friends these days. Mickey, I'm actually happy for once in my life. I look at my nephew and I can see he isn't. You're not happy but I gave up on you years back. If you wanna do what's best for your son, then maybe ask him what he wants."

"Fuck you, you have a perfect little life now. Have a congratulatory wank. But you don't know shit about my life or Yev's." He seethed, practically foaming at his mouth.

"How could I? You never tell me anything "

"We don't tell each other shit. We're not like the fucking Gallagher's."

"We could be. Me and Yev are close. Why can't we be?"

"Mandy. I'm gonna say this once and you remember this for the rest of your life. Stop trying to be my fucking friend."

"Fine." She shrugged, Izzy asleep in her arms. "But I'm not gonna give up on my best friend and my brother having a happy ever after."

"Jesus Christ. I have no interest in being with a guy who cheated on me."

"And I hit my husband's ex girlfriend with a car. We all have issues." She said and stood up. Mickey fell onto the couch and put his arm over his eyes trying to block out everything. He wished there was beer in the fridge. It could numb his head that was currently throbbing. The blanket provided warmth for a little while before it started to torture him with sweat. The house was quiet. 

It was strange. Even with Terry away, the house was rowdy at all hours. Now it was quiet. Now the house was home. 

Out of all his siblings, Mickey never thought he'd be the one to get out and do something with his life. He never thought he'd have a kid either but things change. He headed to South Carolina first. Had some cousins there who helped him out with a job. Mickey wasn't very good at much except beating the crap out of someone so he worked as a bouncer at a club. After a few weeks he went to New York. Got a job at a mechanic's. It was shit pay, shit hours but he managed for two years. The guys liked Yev and didn't mind having him around even though it was dangerous. But the shop closed down and Mickey went back to Chicago for a couple of days before leaving for LA. Terry died and he signed some piece of paper that the house belonged to Mandy who had Lip hanging around her all the time even back then. Mandy asked Mickey to stay but he was too scared he'd see the Gallagher that ripped him apart so he left. With only a little bit of money, a three year old and no plan for the future. 

After a week of sleeping at an abandoned house and stealing stuff for Yev, Mickey decided to get a job. He applied at some shops but no one was hiring. He took Yev everywhere with him, hoping for some sympathy. It didn't play very well because they were both dirty and stank of grime and piss. Plus Mickey's tattoos didn't paint him in the best light. But there was an opening for a building manager. He weaseled his way into that. Was actually pretty good at it too. Earned some money and had a free shit hole of an apartment. Mandy visited a year later. Seemed pretty impressed. 

But a year after that, Mickey found a gig at a nearby gym as a security guard. He worked nights and brought Yev with him. A couple months after that, they moved. When Yev was six, Mickey sent him to school and got himself a job as a bike messenger. That was pretty fun and paid surprisingly well but it was a 24 hour service and sometimes he worked overtime. Then he worked on construction which was hell and didn't pay much but had stable hours. He then tried his hand at being a fireman. It was good, he passed his tests pretty easily but there was a guy there who looked too much like Gallagher. Every time they fucked he tried to kiss Mickey which was not cool. And the guy bottomed too. Which pissed Mickey off. Fucking Charlie. Yev never liked him anyway. 

Mickey stared at the ceiling and thought about his current gig. Being a glazier was nice. He was finishing off his apprenticeship this month and he could start on his own if he wanted to. His boss even said he might want to sell the business. 

Living in downtown LA wasn't so bad. It was safer than South Side. And Mickey actually was doing something. Yev was going to a good school that had good teachers who gave a fuck about their students. Not like here. The house was quiet and it smelled like home. 

Mickey drifted off around the second time his niece starting screaming. The noise lulling him into sleep. His dreams were of pigeons and guns and strawberries and bikes. Yev woke him up by sitting on his chest and eating a pop tart. He coughed as his son weighed heavy on him. 

"Dad. Can we go shopping with Izzy?" He asked using the kid voice Mickey hated because he could never say no to it. Yev even batted his eye lids and turned his lips inward to make a spectacle. Mandy watched from the kitchen amused. Mickey dug the heels of his hands into his eyes and rubbed them for a moment asking Yev why. "Because aunt Mandy is tired and she needs stuff and I already said we would do it."

"Go by yourself."

"What?!" Yev's eyes widened and he whispered dramatically at his father. "I can't. I'll get robbed again."

"Someone robbed ya, Yev?" Mandy asked coming over to sit at the small coffee table next to the couch, concern on her face. Yev shrugged and attempted to be flippant about it but Mickey knew better. His son came home terrified and it took all of Mickey's strength to not go after the little shits. But still, that was LA. No one would mess with a Milkovich in South Side. Mickey poked at Yev's and picked him up. Yev struggled but laughed as his father landed him face plant into the couch cushion, holding him up by the ankles. He pulled himself up on Mickey's arm and pushed Mickey back who fell back onto the couch. 

"Alright, jeez. We'll go shopping." Mickey laughed as Yev started climbing on his head. Yev satisfied, nodded and sat next to him, finishing his pop tart. Mandy smiled at the two before pulling out a list for Mickey. 

"What I need. Don't skip anything. I'll pay you back later."

"You're gonna make me buy all this shit for you and pay for it?"

"Hey, I just had a baby and you didn't bring me a gift."

"My fucking presence is a gift, cocksucker." Mandy snorted.

"You're one to talk, fag banger."

"What's a fag?" Yev asked curious. Mickey cringed outwardly and scratched his head.

"It's not a very nice word to describe gay people." Yev looked confused at the two of them. "Don't use it. It's a bit hard to understand but this neighbourhood kinda says shit like that."

"I won't say it. But aren't you gay?" Mickey nodded. "Then doesn't it bother you when people say it?" His sister snorted again. 

"Kid, go get Izzy's stuff ready." The boy quickly got off the couch and ran into his aunt's room. Mickey let his head hit the back of the couch. Ten years later and it was still difficult to admit to the world he was gay. Never got any easier. Mandy slapped his forehead. "The fuck?"

"The list, asshole." She threw it at his face before jamming a pop tart in his mouth.

"Thanks, bitch!" He yelled after her but she just flipped him off. An hour later they were at the supermarket. Shitty like Mickey remembered. Even had the same people who worked there. Yev was being very diligent, he sat Izzy's stroller in the cart, her bag hanging on the small hook, he took the list from Mickey reading everything off it before pushing the cart and putting products in. He spoke to Izzy the entire time. Mickey felt like he was just their body guard but it suited him fine to watch his son in action. It was kind of amazing to see a mini him be well behaved instead of terrorising the neighbourhood kids. When Izzy was getting fussy, Yev stopped and looked at her confused. 

"What's wrong?" He asked the baby. Mickey held back his laughter but he couldn't keep the grin off his face. Yev huffed and took Izzy out of her stroller before cradling her in his arms and lightly bouncing her. "Don't worry. We're gonna be finished soon and then we'll go home and you can tell your mom all about how you helped me shop." Strangely, Yev's words settled the baby down and he put her back in the stroller before carrying on with the shopping. Mickey stared at his son dumbfounded. 

Yev was a mystery. He was nice, he was kind and he was caring. He was a good kid. An actual good child who didn't feel like rebelling or screwing shit up. He got good grades, asked if he could visit fucking Stanford one day, tried to be nice to everyone. Even to the assholes who bullied him. He was curious and liked to learn. Liked to read. Wanted to see his family and talk to them. If it wasn't for the physical similarities, Mickey would swear half of the kid's DNA belonged to someone else.

He stared at Yev and Izzy for a moment before hearing his name. He turned around to see Fiona Gallagher staring at him stunned with a Debbie Gallagher glaring at him in tow. He nodded at the two glancing at Yev and Izzy who were looking over at Mickey with the corner of his eye. 

"Are you back?" Debbie asked, dislike seeping through her voice. Mickey pulled down on his pockets, nervously.

"What's it to you?" He replied rudely.

"How are you, Mickey?" Fiona nudged Debbie and looked at him with her big eyes that were so similar to the green one's he could never forget.

"I'm fine." Yev was frowning at the end of the aisle. "This was a great reunion but I'm gonna go and help my kid. See ya." He mumbled and Fiona nodded as he walked over to Yev who was still frowning. Yev asked if everything was okay and Izzy looked at him with her thumb in her mouth. Mickey pulled a pacifier from her bag and pulled the thumb out. "Got any more shit on that list?" He asked Yev who resumed pushing the cart. 

Mickey didn't spend the rest of the shopping trip looking over his shoulder worried he'd bump into more Gallaghers. Definitely not.


	3. Balancing On Rooftops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I personally do not have bipolar disorder so I do apologise for any inaccuracies however I am quite familiar with it so I try to be as accurate as I possibly can.
> 
> I also want to finish this fic before the new season which hopefully will happen. 
> 
> Apologies also for short chapters and the heart ache.
> 
> Believe in Gallavich. Always believe in Gallavich.
> 
> Characters are OOC for the purpose of this fic. Love and cookies for my dear readers.
> 
> Unbeta'd as per usual. If anyone is interested in becoming a beta for this fic, hit me up on tumblr: dominikadecember

"What's bipolar disorder?" Yev asked at the dinner table and Mickey felt something inside him snap. Lip sat quietly, occupying Izzy whilst Mandy ate her dinner but the moment the question was asked they stopped breathing. Mickey could feel their eyes on him but he just stared at his son whose face turned from curious to terrified. Like he asked a really bad question.

Which he did.

Because Mickey knew too much about bipolar disorder. 

"It's umm..." Lip started to explain slowly. "It's an irregularity that affects your moods. One moment you can be really happy and the next you can be very sad."

"That sounds pretty normal." Yev looked at his uncle with confusion.

"It's not. Your moods go from one extreme to the other. Mania to depression." Mandy told him. Yev still didn't understand and Mickey pushed the feelings that were coming up down. Yev just caught him off-guard. He wasn't prepared for a question like that.

"Do you remember when Mrs Kat killed herself?" Mickey croaked out. Yev nodded. "Well, do you remember what she was like before that?" Yev thought for a moment before scratching his head and nodded.

"Yeah, she was always really happy and then got really angry and she was always very loud."

"Well, that's because she was having a manic episode." Mickey said slowly. He would recognise bipolar from a mile away. "And then she had a depression episode and committed suicide. Why are you asking anyway?" Yev shrugged and mumbled something. Mickey narrowed his eyes at his son. "What happened?" Yev sighed and looked up at the ceiling. It was a tactic Mickey knew well. Yev always did it when he thought he didn't do anything bad but Mickey would disapprove.

"I was hanging out with Liam and some guys started messing around with him calling him the 'R' word which is stupid because Liam is super intelligent and nowhere near mentally challenged so they were wrong and then they started saying that his brother was a bipolar freak and Liam got super angry and ended up beating them up." Yev finished in one breath still staring at the ceiling. Mickey rolled his eyes.

"Wait, who were the kids?" Lip asked Yev who wouldn't look at him, just shrugged. "What the fuck? They get over the gay bashing so now they're gonna bash mental illnesses?!" Mandy shook her head trying to calm Lip down who was getting more and more agitated. Yev looked at his uncle with wide eyes.

"Ian's gay too?" He grinned at Mickey who was dreading his son's next sentence. "Dad, maybe uncle Lip can set you two up." Mandy started chocking on her dinner. Yev looked bashful. "Or I can ask Liam to help." Mickey stood up and threw the rest of his meal out not feeling hungry.

"Sweetie, that's not a great idea." He heard Mandy say. "Trust me. That ship needs serious reconstruction and it can't be done with your adorable 10 year old hands." Mickey washed his dish and grabbed his cigarettes from the cabinet he was hiding them in. Lip knew and of course stole some but whatever. Being a parent was stressful. 

"I'm gonna go out." Mickey told the family and grabbed his coat. "Yev, start packing. Our flight is tomorrow at noon." Yev's eyes widened again.

"What? Dad, can't we stay a little bit longer?"

"You gotta go back to school on Monday."

"But Monday is like three days away."

"Which means you got a shit ton of homework to do." Yev flopped in his seat, suddenly boneless. Mickey sighed and sat across from him. "Yev, don't start." Mandy and Lip silently watching the two.

"I just don't understand why we can't stay longer. I like it here way more than back in LA." Mickey took a moment before answering. He couldn't afford to take any more time off from work and Yev really needed to get back to school.

"How about we come during Christmas break?" Yev's face lit up. 

"Really?" Mickey looked at Mandy who grinned. She's been asking him to come over with Yev for Christmas for years now.

"Yeah. Your cousin is probably gonna be spoiled by all the Gallaghers so it might be good for her to hang out with someone who hasn't got their head up their ass." Lip flipped him off but smiled at Yev who grinned. "I'm gonna see you guys later. Yev, pack." His sister punched his arm but grinned in the same way her nephew beamed at his father. Mickey groaned, walking to the Alibi as he realised he'd have to come back to Chicago again. And on Christmas as well. Mandy said that they always went to the Gallagher household for Christmas Eve dinner and stayed over till Christmas Day. 

Mickey took out a cigarette and debated whether he could just send Yev by himself and stay in LA. He shook his head at the thought. He didn't like the thought of being away from his son for more than a few hours, never mind a major holiday. The cold air attacked his face and the smoke mingled with the fog from his breath. It was only seven but it was already dark as hell. Most people were hiding away inside or just getting back home. He saw a couple of drunks on the street but ignored them as they asked for money when he passed them. His cigarette didn't last long and by the time he was at the Alibi, he was cold again. 

Kevin was behind the bar arguing with someone other than Frank. Probably Kermit. Mickey sat down quickly and pulled his phone out. It's been off since the last time he spoke with Charlie. He used Mandy's to book the flight. Kevin passed him a beer not turning away from the conversation. Mickey let the liquid slosh around in his mouth before swallowing, staring down at the electronic device. A couple of texts from his boss and fifteen voice mails. He hesitated for a moment before forcing himself to listen. The first two were some insurance bullshit, the rest were all from Charlie. Varied from pleading Mickey to forgive him to screaming at how much Mickey was a piece of shit. Mickey deleted all of them and focused on his beer. 

Frank Gallagher swaggered in and went to his usual place at the end of the bar. Jess glanced at him before telling Kevin that Frank's bill was already big enough and he couldn't afford to coddle a drunk. Kevin told her to mind her own business but he refused to give Frank anything also. Mickey watched as Frank started shouting how he put so much time and effort into making Alibi a promising establishment, with his new liver being eager to help Kevin. 

Mickey snorted at the _'promising establishment'_. 

This place had a brothel upstairs before Svetlana was killed by one of her _'clients'_. 

Kevin told Frank to either settle his tab or get out of there. Mickey watched in amusement as Frank glared at Kevin and muttered obscenities before leaving. Some parts of South Side he missed. Like Frank Gallagher getting his ass kicked. Or that no one would bother him because he's a Milkovich. A cop came into the bar which wasn't unusual but this one was one of the prim and proper boys.

Tony Markovich. He busted Mickey's brothers a few times. He looked older and less clean. More tired. Ordered a beer and sat in one of the corner booths. Or dropped his entire body in it. Mickey watched curiously, his own beer not even half empty yet. Kevin turned to him and asked him if he was gonna stick around.

"Nah, man. Got a life to get back to." Mickey replied. Kevin surely was going to attempt to make a joke about how Mickey never had a life when he froze looking at someone who just walked through the door. Two someone's if Mickey's hearing was correct. He didn't need to look to know who it was from the way that Kevin just glanced at him.

"Hey, Kev." He heard the familiar voice and squeezed his eyes shut to pray that it was just a cruel joke being played on him. But he knew better. They were bound to run into each other at some point. Mickey just hoped that point would have been later. He heard the stillness behind him. No, he felt it. Felt when the other man recognised him. Felt his eyes bore into Mickey's back.

"Ian?" Another voice, male, asked confused. He heard movement and the moment he would be forced to look, his phone rang. He picked it up quickly and turned away, walking out the door avoiding to look in that direction. But it was useless. He smelled him. He felt him. It was too much. He was barely aware of Charlie on the other side of the phone.

"Huh?" Mickey asked confused, his heart beating fast, his hands shaking and his body screaming to get back into the bar. The cold air didn't seem to wake him up. He started to walk away from the bar as fast as possible only becoming aware of the fact that he didn't pay for his beer. He hoped Kevin would forgive him just this once. 

"I want to see you. I miss you." Charlie's voice was whiny and it didn't do jack shit to him. He turned the phone off again and walked into the house. Mandy and Lip in front of the TV. They didn't notice him. Too engrossed in the idiot box. Mickey went into his former bedroom as quietly as possible. Yev wasn't there. Most likely playing with Izzy in the other room. But everything was packed already which was good. Mickey paced around the room shrugging off his jacket and throwing it on the bed. He ran his hands over his face. It wasn't fair. He went into the kitchen still unnoticed by his sister and her husband. He didn't know what to do, just stared at the fridge.

Lip's phone rang startling all three of them. Mickey was sure he knew who it was. Lip picked it up, ignoring Mandy's glare.

"Hey, now's not really a---" He was cut off. Mickey leaned against the counter top and crossed his arms watching Lip's face which darkened. "Yeah, I knew." Mickey wanted to laugh at how he felt that the Gallagher brothers would be getting into an argument. "Look, man. With worrying about Izzy every single second, I didn't really have time to talk to you about your messed up love life." Mandy watched Lip, biting on her bottom one. "I don't think that's a good idea." Another pause. "If you want to, do it when his kid isn't around. No one deserves that. You two will probably fuck each other up and then fuck." Lip interlocked his fingers with Mandy's. "I don't know, man. He said he was going out. That's all I know." Another silence. "Ian. Maybe it's best to just leave it. I mean if he didn't even look at you, maybe he's trying to tell you that your face is ugly." Mandy giggled at that into Lip's shoulder. Mickey watched the two of them feeling jealous with a second. He wanted to have this freedom and comfort with someone. Why did he only attract fuck heads? "Okay. Get some sleep. And tell what's his name to stop sending me holiday cards. You fucked once. It's seriously creepy."

Mandy waited patiently ten whole seconds after Lip finished to pounce on her husband demanding to know what was said. Lip smiled and teased her for a little bit before recollecting the fresh conversation.

"He didn't know Mickey was in town and asked if he was staying with us then demanded to know why I didn't tell him. Then he wanted to come here and wait for Mickey. Apparently he went to the Alibi with his new guy and Mickey was there. Ian said that Mickey practically ran out of there not letting him look at him or vice versa. Then he called me a dick because obviously he loves me and that was it." Mandy clicked her tongue.

"Stupid Ian. Bringing his boy toy with him. As if Mickey needed more reasons to never show his face around here. I doubt he'll even show up on Christmas." She let her head fall back against Lip's shoulder.

"I don't think it was intentional, babe. Besides, Yev will drag him down here. That kid is impossible to say no to."

"I know right, I taught him that." Mandy smiled. Mickey stood there for a while, mulling things over, before deciding that he needed sleep. He moved quietly to his old bedroom and flopped onto his stomach. He closed his eyes and let the sleep overtake him. Green eyes and red lips over his body taking the starring role in his dreams.


	4. All Of My Misspoken Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ofc I wouldn't keep them away and ofc I had to post this chapter straight away, I try to write them in advance so i have the next two for you guys but I'm gonna make you wait a little bit because of some reasons that you shall find out in the future
> 
> unbeta'd, my mistakes are all my own
> 
> thank you so much for reading, i love you guys, you make me wanna write this fic,
> 
> you're all good people
> 
> also, apologies if anything offends, that was not my intent

Mickey came home on December 19th to find two bags in the living room and his son sitting on his bed with a black shoebox in his hands. Mickey felt dread going through him mixed with anger at Yev for going through his belongings.

"Yev."

"I'm sorry. I was looking for stuff to pack and it fell into my hands and I thought it was shoes but it wasn't. What is this stuff?" Mickey groaned as Yev turned those baby blues at him. He sat next to the boy and took the box out of his hands.

"It's personal things." He said not touching the photos. The first one on top was his wedding picture. Mandy and that Kenyatta asswipe next to Svetlana.

Mickey once asked Mandy what happened to Kenyatta. She just got really quiet and said that he was gone for good. Probably got someone to bury him six feet under.

Mickey saw that a picture of Svetlana and her friends was underneath and pulled it out.

"Your mom was a prostitute. And a damn fine at that. Brought in a lot of customers." Yev stared at the picture numb. "I was her pimp. Sorta." Mickey passed the picture to his son. "Lana loved you very much. She's probably really proud of you kid." Yev ran his thumb over the photo.

"Does she have a grave?" Mickey thought about it.

"Think so. Mandy would know. We can figure it out when we go." Yev nodded but wouldn't look at Mickey who put a hand on his sons shoulders.

"Aunt Mandy says that you won't come with us for Christmas Eve to Liam's." Mickey withdrew his hand and cursed Mandy for all eternity. "So you'll just be all alone. On Christmas." Yev's voice was distant.

"It's complicated." Yev looked up at him, eyes fierce with anger.

"Dad. I don't ask you for much. But this is important to me. I want to have at least one big family holiday." He said. Mickey stared down at his son, dumbfounded. "You need to be there. Or this is going to be one of those major childhood traumas I talk about in therapy." Mickey blinked slowly at the small, defiant face, so similar to his own.

"I'll....think about it. That's the best I can promise." Yev stood up, clutching the photo in his hands.

"Do better." Mickey stared as Yev went into his room and slammed the door shut.

 _'Could have been worse. At least it's not my sex toys._ Mickey thought to himself and let out a breath of relief. He looked down at the box for a moment before putting it back in his closet and took a shower. The next two days were spent in silence with Yev not even looking at him because he was still angry at Mickey. The next time they spoke was at the airport but even then, Yev only gave short answers when Mickey asked him questions. As they were waiting to board their flight, Mickey's phone rang. He glanced at Yev who was reading a book and ignoring his presence.

"Yeah?" Mickey answered.

"Hey, can you pick up some beer on your way over?" Mandy's voice came through rushed.

"We're not even on the plane yet and you're ordering beer."

"Me and Lip got into a fight. Beer is needed."

"Jesus. You two are like freaking hyeanas."

"Screw you, asshat. He was meant to come pick you two up with me but because he's a little dick, he is working." Mickey raised his eyebrows at the older lady who was glaring at him for some reason.

"So we gotta take a cab again?" Mickey groaned as he registered what his sister just said.

"No, I'll be there. Just no Lip. Because he's a fucking idiot."

"I told you that on your wedding day."

"Yeah, well. I don't give a fuck about what you say because you're not important. See you in a few hours." Yev looked at Mickey quizzically when the older man put his phone back in his pocket.

"Lip is working so he won't be there with Mandy." Yev nodded and went back to his book. "Really? You gonna pout like a little fucking baby?" The older woman across from them made a stifled noise that sounded like outrage. Mickey looked at her. "You got a problem, lady? Take it up with your shrink. How I raise my kid ain't any of your fucking business." The woman looked as if she was about to jump out of her seat and lunge at him but Mickey turned back to Yev who was still ignoring him. They boarded the plane soon after that. Parents with small kids were sitting at the front so Mickey booked their seats at the very back which wasn't pleasant because the can stank but it was better that than to put up with the shrieking babies up the front. Besides, after half an hour, Mickey barely even noticed the smell anymore. Plus he smelled worse shit in his life.

Yev kept on reading his book the entire flight so Mickey decided to take a nap. When Yev woke him up, four hours later, Mickey had a crick in his neck that told him sleeping on a plane was fucking uncomfortable as fuck.

Yev looked at him expectedly.

"What is it about Chicago?" Yev asked him, his book closed.

"It's not something I want to talk about with my ten year old kid." Mickey said firmly using a sharp tone. Usually it got Yev to back off but not this time.

"But why? What the fuck happened that makes you have a fucking heart attack every time I even bring Chicago up?"

"Language."

"Dad."

"Yev, I mean it. I'm the parent here and I don't have to explain myself to you." Yev narrowed his eyes but leaned back in his seat and returned to his book. Soon, they were waiting for their luggage, tense silence surrounding them whilst people around were chatting away. They started to walk out, both glaring at the world, when Yev stopped. Mickey bumped into him but followed his son's line of sight to see his sister holding up a huge _' FUCKING IDIOTS'_ banner with Izzy at her feet.

Yev ran to his aunt, his luggage basically flying behind him and hitting people's calves whilst Mickey walked slowly behind the young boy, shaking his head. Mandy threw the banner to the side, hitting some random human, as she crouched down to hug Yev.

"Hey, kid." She laughed as he held onto her tightly. "It's only been two months but I swear, you look so much different. Grown a couple inches too." Yev let go of her and bent down to give Izzy a kiss who happily patted his cheek. Mandy stood up and looked Mickey over. "You on the other hand, I'm pretty sure you shrank." Mickey flipped her off and bent down to tickle his niece. "Where's my beer?" She asked.

"Are you for real? D'you know how fucking expensive beer is at airports? I'll just go to the Kash and Grab." Mandy scowled but agreed nonetheless. They went to the parking lot and it didn't go unnoticed by her that Mickey and Yev were not talking. She asked what was going on as Yev walked ahead with Izzy discussing his very problematic favourite cartoon. "Gallaghers. He wants to know why I'm not going because his fucking aunt couldn't keep her mouth shut." Mandy rolled her eyes.

"I'm with Yev on this one. You're being stubborn and acting like a four year old." She told him.

"I don't want to see him." Mickey replied sick of defending himself knowing full well his sister understood his reasoning. Mandy smirked.

"Too late." He was about to ask what that meant when she walked quickly to a car that had Ian Gallagher leaning on, smoking. 

Mickey stopped. 

He stopped breathing, he stopped walking, he stopped everything as he stared at the redhead in front of him who stared right back.

Ian slowly let his mouth turn into a smile as he took Mickey in and he threw the cigarette down, putting it out with his foot. He was taller. His hair was longer. Long enough to give him a fringe. The coat he was wearing was hanging off him loose so Mickey could see the outline of his toned arms and his chest. There were crinkles and laugh lines around his eyes that were more hazel than green now. Perhaps it was just the dim light of winter. The fingers were just as long as Mickey remembered as they stretched out towards Yev.

"Hi." His voice was deeper and sent warm shivers down Mickey's spine. "I'm Ian. Lip and Liam's brother." Yev looked at the man and shook his hand.

"Are you the one with the bipolar disorder?" Mandy cuffed the back of his head telling him off for being inappropriate but Ian just laughed. His laugh was the same. And made Mickey's resumed breath hitch.

"It's fine, Mandy. Yeah. It's kinda hell but I've managed well for the past couple of years. You know, you probably don't remember but you and I used to hang out all the time when you were Izzy's age." Yev cocked his head to the side.

"Really? That's weird. Dad's never mentioned you." Ian looked at Mickey with his big eyes that turned to green again, hurt. Mickey finally snapped out of his trance and moved to open the trunk.

"I don't say a lot of things, Yev." He muttered to explain as he put his luggage in. He grabbed Yev's roughly out of the boy's hands and threw that one in next. Mandy rolled her eyes and put Izzy in the back seat before sitting next to her and ordering Mickey to sit in the front. Yev jumped in to sit next to his aunt as Mickey sat next to Ian who was already behind the wheel.

Ian's smell was overwhelming. He couldn't describe what it was. Couldn't even begin to comprehend what it could be. Just that he smelled like home. Which made his heart ache.

And Mickey had to put his hands in his pockets to restrain himself from interlocking with Ian's long fingers every time he changed gear.

This was torture. Pure, unadulterated torture.

Mickey promised himself to give Mandy hell when they come back to the house.

"So." Ian smiled that lazy smile at Mickey who refused to look at him when they were waiting in the Chicago traffic. Mickey kicked himself mentally for letting Mandy offer him a ride. "How's life?" Mickey closed his eyes and leaned back against his seat. His sister and his son were talking about God knows what behind. He attempted to drown everything out but it was impossible because he was constantly aware of Ian being right there. In his space. In his head. "My life is good. Got a job at a gym as a trainer. Exercise is good for me, you know, so it helps." Mickey knew. Mickey knew because he was the one who told Ian that. "Pays pretty well. But I'm still living at the house. Debbie moved in with Matt and Carl is still at college so Fiona kinda needs some extra help." Mickey prayed that this journey would be over quick but every single word out Ian's mouth went straight through his body. "Not seeing anyone at the moment." Mickey flinched at that. He flinched so hard his hand hit the door, painfully.

"Shit." He stared at his hand but it seemed that it would just bruise. He risked looking at Ian who was staring at his hand with his mouth open and his eyes wide. Mickey loved that look the best. Ian always looked so vulnerable and like Mickey had the power to wreck him but then it quickly switched as both of them came one after the other. Mickey cursed himself mentally and leaned back in his seat, closing his eyes again before the memories flooded his brain.

Memories of Ian begging him to suck him off and to stop teasing. Memories of Ian pounding into his ass against the stock. Memories of Ian whispering into his ear as they jerked each other off in the Alibi can.

Mickey shifted uncomfortable as he felt his blood rush to his dick. He opened the window hoping the cold air would dissipate the memories and Ian's scent from his brain.

Memories of Ian kissing him after they just woke up. Memories of Ian and Mickey trying to change Yev's diaper. Memories of Mickey being so in love with Ian he came out of the closet in the middle of his son's christening party to get him to stay.

"Close the fucking window, you fuck face." Mandy hit his shoulder, his semi-erection disappearing immediately. "Izzy's gonna catch a cold." Mickey rolled his eyes but closed the window and thankfully the traffic moved. "Ian, stop by the Kash and Grab. My shit head of a brother is gonna buy the beer he forgot to bring with him."

"I didn't fucking forget." Mickey growled not turning around because that would just bring his face closer to Ian. "I told you, that shit is fucking expensive."

"You live in LA." Mickey frowned.

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"So you're meant to cater to the stars, no?"

"The fuck you're talking about?"

"Well, Yev told me about that celebrity you went out with." Mandy's voice changed its tone to something he never heard before.

"Jesus Christ. He was an extra in some movie. For fuck's sake."

"So you're not dating anymore of those celebrities?"

"What the hell is wrong with you? You know I'm not." He turned to his sister who had a winning grin on her face. Only then he registered the swift whiff of Ian's scent. They were too close. Yev's eyes were shining brightly at him and Mandy wouldn't stop grinning. Mickey groaned and leaned back in his seat, trying to ignore everyone.

"Smooth, Mandy." He heard Ian say with a teasing note in his voice. Mickey snapped his eyes at the younger man. 

"Don't need you to defend me, Gallagher." Ian glanced at him with a small smirk on his face. Mickey thought that it should be illegal and banned for eternity because that fucking smirk would definitely cause a heart attack. Probably in a certain Milkovich.

"Wasn't gonna." Ian simply replied with that same teasing note. Mickey snorted and looked out the window. The rest of the journey, he kept quiet not letting Mandy or Yev drag him into a conversation because it would definitely turn out bad for him. Chicago was covered in snow. He didn't particularly miss the slush he'd always have when walking around and the constant worry he'd slip whilst fucking some kids face up but it did feel a bit more seasonal to have some white instead of the usual green and browns Los Angeles offered. He was pulled out of his thoughts by Ian parking in front of the house. 

"Dad, can we make pizza for dinner?" Mickey got out of the car quick and went straight to the trunk of the car. Yev following. 

"How about mac and cheese? We can make pizza tomorrow with Izzy." Yev looked at his cousin in the carrier his aunt was holding as Mickey took the luggage out. Ian moved quickly to help him but Mickey already had the second bag in his hand and just glared at the Gallagher who rolled his eyes and slammed the trunk shut. Yev nodded at his father and took his bag from him as they moved up the stairs. Mickey behind everyone.

He wasn't watching Ian's ass.

He wasn't.

Ian's ass was just in his line of sight. That's all.

Mandy went into her room to put Izzy in her crib whilst Yev moved towards the guest room. Ian stood in Mickey's way observing the boy.

"You gonna fucking move?" Mickey grunted at him. Ian turned around with a small smile on his face. Mickey's eyes travelled to the red lips not that far away from him before Ian took a step back letting Mickey walk past. 

"You're different." Ian commented. Mickey, put the bag down and crossed his arms as Ian sat on the couch, his eyes still on the Milkovich. "With Yev. And Mandy. It's different. Like you're not scared to show you care anymore."

"Yeah, well." Mickey scratched his head. "Ten years is a long time." The two men locked gazes for a moment and the atmosphere in the room changed completely. From uncomfortable former lovers to two men longing to touch each other. Years of untold feelings hanging in the air. Hurt, betrayal and loneliness from Mickey. 

He couldn't decipher what Ian felt. It never was easy with Ian. Nothing was ever easy with Ian. And now more than ever he couldn't trust that whatever Ian felt was true. 

Because he believed that once and got hurt. Badly. 

Yev scurried into the living room and headed straight for the kitchen yelling at Mandy if she had any mac and cheese. Mickey quickly went into the guest room and threw his coat on the bed, breathing heavily. He closed the door and leaned his forehead against it.

"Too much." He whispered to himself. "It's too much. Too much." He kept on repeating that to himself for a couple of minutes until he felt his heart slow down. He knew Ian was on the opposite side of the door but not seeing him for a moment let Mickey calm himself to the point where he could consider the possibility of seeing the redhead again. When he was debating the possibility of leaving out the window, he was forced to come out of his hiding place because his son was yelling he'd come out and help, Mandy yelled for Yev to shut the fuck up and Ian just laughed. 

Mickey didn't feel butterflies in his stomach.

He felt the entire fucking zoo. 

"Fuck." He whispered to himself before walking out to the kitchen. He ignored Ian for the rest of the evening which was difficult at the beginning but soon Yev took over his attention span as his son screwed up the easiest meal on the planet. Yev mumbled that they should have gotten an instant pack which reminded Mickey that they forgot to go to the Kash and Grab for the beer. "Gallagher, make yourself useful and go for a beer run." He said automatically before registering what he said. It almost felt like they were back in the past. He looked at Ian on the couch with Mandy startled when Ian's face mirrored his surprise at the words. Mandy also paused, her hand with the remote in mid air. Ian's smile slowly creeped up on his face and Mickey could feel himself blush so he stared down at the pasta. "You need a hearing aid or some shit?" Mickey tried to hide the tremor in his voice but he was sure they all heard it from the way Mandy snorted. Ian stood up and grabbed his coat.

"Yev, wanna come with?" He asked the boy who looked hopefully up at his father with big eyes and biting on his lip, similar to the way Mickey did. Mickey grimaced but nodded never the less and Yev sprinted to put his coat back on. Mickey looked him over when he said he was ready.

"Scarf." Yev stuck his tongue out at his father but indeed went around the house looking for his scarf explaining that his scarf always ran away for everyone's benefit. Ian watched amused and Mickey couldn't stop staring at how natural Yev seemed with the redheaded Gallagher. 

"We'll be back soon." Ian told Mickey who turned back to the pasta that was most likely overcooked by now. The moment they left, Mickey turned the stove off and glared at his sister who pointedly ignored him.

"The fuck, Mandy?" He walked over to the couch and grabbed the remote out of her hands, turning the TV off. She looked up at him and batted her eye lashes at him with an innocent expression on her face.

"What?" She asked using her best innocent voice. He slammed the remote down on the coffee table.

"Fuck you, you know what." She sighed as if Mickey was the world's most exhausting problem.

"I was just trying to help."

"Yeah, sure. Fucking ambushing me always helps."

"It was meant to be like that pulling the plaster off the wound thing."

"Huh?"

"Yev wants you to come to the Gallagher's for Christmas. I want you to come. Lip wants you to come. Ian wants you to come. Even fucking Fiona wants you to come."

"So?"

"So I realised that if I forced Ian on you before, then you wouldn't have a problem coming with us." She said as if it was the most logical thing in the entire universe. Mickey blinked, feeling his blood boil up in his veins with fury and jumped at her, his hands on her throat, banging her head against the arm of the couch. But Mandy was clearly expecting that as she kneed him in the groin hard and started twisting his nipple. Mickey groaned in pain and pulled at her blonde hair which she shrieked at. They wrestled onto the floor breaking the coffee table. Mickey elbow her tit and rolled them over so he was on top of her and bashed her head on the floor. He didn't see Mandy's fist that came up fast three times and earned him a very painful shiner. He fell onto the floor next to her panting heavily. 

"Fuck." He whined and cupped his crotch. He winced at the pain. "I think you just castrated me." Mandy coughed and spat something to her left.

"You dipshit. You injured my daughter's milk service." Her voice was hoarse.

"You're a fucking cunt."

"You're a fucking dick." They laid there for a second before bursting out into laughter. You can take the Milkovich out of South Side but you can't take the South Side out of the Milkovich. Mickey looked at his sister who had a small gash on her forehead bleeding. He was sure his eye looked much worse before noticing the redness around her throat.

"It was a shit move, Mandy." She shrugged.

"I don't care. At least it got you to look at him instead of running away like a coward." Mickey closed his eyes at the memory of his last encounter with Ian Gallagher. "Yeah, I know about that. He's convinced you hate him."

"I don't hate him. That would make everything fucking easier." Mickey admitted. Mandy turned her head with bewilderment written on his face. "I'm thinking of maybe..." He paused before taking a deep breath and continuing but the door opened cutting him off. Lip, Ian and Yev came in laughing but stopped when they saw the two Milkoviches on the floor. 

"What the fuck happened?" Lip asked. Mickey stood up, ignoring the pain in his pants and offered Mandy a hand which she took willingly whilst getting up.

"Your table is a piece of shit." Mickey answered and walked back to the kitchen. 

His chest didn't feel warm when he heard Ian laugh behind him.

It really didn't.


	5. Yearning To Belong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some violence. Not much. 
> 
> I don't own any characters.
> 
> I personally don't have bipolar disorder so I apologise for any inaccuracies however I do have people close to me that suffer from it. 
> 
> Enjoy. 
> 
> And happy December!!!!! December is literally my favourite month of the year. Like I don't give a fuck about any other months except for December. December is the best. So happy December!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Alibi was crowded for some reason. Mickey looked around for an empty spot and found one next to Frank at the end of the bar which wasn't the most wanted seat because Frank was a bastard who tried to scam money out of anyone he met. Mickey sighed but sat down next to the older Gallagher who was cussing Obamacare for some reason. Jess passed Mickey a beer and started to clean off the bar.

"Why's there so many people?" Mickey asked her. Jess looked around at her customers and shrugged.

"Don't know, don't care. Kev must have done something right for once in his life because the business is good. Hopefully it'll keep at it." She turned to serve some white collar at the opposite end. Mickey eyed him and the stranger stared right back. He smirked at Mickey who felt very unimpressed by the lack of arousal. He glanced at Frank who was now complaining about the sadistic torture of burgers.

"I'm telling you, the cows are baked and they cut the meat off when the cows don't feel any pain." Mickey narrowed his eyes.

"The fuck you on about, Frank?" He asked the Gallagher.

"The burgers, Mick. The fucking burgers." Frank clapped Mickey shoulder with a powerful force for a drunk old man. Mickey winced at the pain. "They try to tell us they are pain free but they aren't. Burgers are just the effect of pain caused."

"They kill the cows first." Frank held up his finger in front of Mickey's face and swayed.

"That's what they want you to think." He whispered conspiratorially before falling back off his bar stool onto the floor. Mickey glanced at him but turned back to his beer. "I'm okay! No one help me! I'm just gonna have a nap." Jess sighed as she looked over the bar but ignored Frank as well and turned to her customers. Mickey heard Kevin arguing with someone behind him but he blocked it out and tuned into his thoughts. It's been two days since Mickey and Yev came to South Side and his son was still giving him the cold shoulder because Mickey didn't want to go to Christmas Eve. Seeing Ian and having him at the dinner table was too much. But to actually spend an entire night over at that house and restraining himself from touching the carrot top would be unbearable. Mickey too lost in his own thoughts didn't notice when the white collar sat down next to him in Frank's previously occupied seat.

"Hi." The collar said. His voice was smooth and elegant. Clearly not from around here. Mickey raised his eyebrows at the unoriginal opening and downed his beer. "I'm Jimmy." Mickey held back a snort as he thought of a million puns he could go with that name. His favourite was _'Imma Jimmy my way into your ass'_. "And you're...?" The collar stared at him expectedly.

"Not interested. Fuck off." Mickey replied as politely as he could without cracking the guy's head open. But clearly _'Jimmy'_ didn't get the message as he chuckled and ordered another beer.

"Hard to get, huh?" Mickey looked to his left where Frank was crawling underneath the pool table. "It's okay. Turns me on actually." Some guys kicked Frank but he wouldn't stop until he was under the table hugging the bottle of vodka he somehow managed to get, to his chest like a teddy bear. "Ian was like that too." Mickey's head snapped to look at the guy so quickly, he was sure something broke in his neck. The guy grinned maliciously, glad he got a reaction out of Mickey. "Yeah, we were together for..." He counted on his fingers, eyes glimmering with amusement. "...two months. But then you came back into town and he dropped me like I was nothing. Said that we would never work." Mickey stared at the guy, frozen in his seat. Numb of any emotion. He couldn't do anything. He couldn't move. "See, I thought that me and him, were actually very compatible. Worked very well. But you had to come and ruin all that. And I just want to see what the big deal is. What the fuck does Mickey Malkovich have that makes him so great?" Jimmy hissed with that malicious grin still on his face. But with every word it turned more into a grimace.

"Milkovich." Mickey corrected, feeling himself return to normal and turning back to his beer.

"What?" The guy was taken aback.

"The name. It's Milkovich, not Malkovich. Get your fucking facts straight before you start talking shit."

"Excuse me?" Mickey ordered another beer.

"Sure, you're fucking excused. You and Gallagher, it ain't any of my business. Me and Gallagher ain't any of yours. So fuck off, dickwad." Mickey said as he downed his second beer. He noticed Ian coming and his heart skipped a beat. "Your compatibility partner is over there. Go and annoy him." Jimmy turned to see where Mickey was pointing with his beer bottle and got up immediately. Mickey wasn't observing their conversation.

He didn't notice the way Ian frowned at the guy or the way his mouth quirked up when he spotted Mickey.

He didn't notice Ian's expression change from confused to pissed off as he glanced between Jimmy and Mickey.

He didn't notice the way Jimmy slightly shoved Ian back.

He didn't notice and he certainly didn't start getting up to help Ian.

Mickey denied all those things but he couldn't deny that when Jimmy punched Ian in the gut, Mickey hit the guy over the head with his beer bottle. Jimmy staggered and stared at him with ludicrousy painted on his face covered with the liquid and shattered glass.

Mickey's eyes widened as he realised what he did and took a step back with his hands mid air in a surrender type of gesture but Jimmy had other ideas as he lunged at the Milkovich who moved to the side and grabbed the collar into a headlock. Jimmy, who wasn't as weak as Mickey firstly assumed, grabbed at Mickey's waist and pushed him backwards onto the edge of the bar. Mickey groaned and planted his elbows into Jimmy's back. He didn't notice Ian grab an abandoned cue stick and swipe at Jimmy's calves who cried out painfully and staggered backwards, throwing his left arm at the redhead who ducked and head-butted him. Jimmy again staggered back, into Mickey and whimpered as the blood ran down his nose.

"You fucking cunt. You'll pay for this." Jimmy's voice was muffled by his hand covering his nose but he elbowed Mickey in the gut.

Mickey bent over in pain and Jimmy took advantage of that by elbowing him in his eye which was still bruised from Mickey's fight with Mandy. Mickey kicked Jimmy in the back of the knee and threw the man down. He straddled him and started throwing punches like there was no tomorrow when the collar grabbed a piece of broken glass from the floor and stabbed it into Mickey's arm.

The Milkovich cried out in pain and attempted to pull the glass out when the collar started to strangle him and overpowered him onto the ground. Ian grabbed Jimmy, one hand over his shoulder, the other on his waist and lifted the collar up from Mickey who was blacking out slowly. He noticed that besides his own fight, there were a few others. The last thing he saw before passing out was Ian holding Jimmy's limp body up by his shirt, hitting Jimmy's face over and over and over again bruising his hand.

When he came to, he was lying on the pool table with someone sitting next to him, coughing.

Mickey tried to move but everything hurt.

"Fuck." He muttered. The person next to him managed a small laugh before hissing in pain. "Yeah. Karma, bitch." Mickey smirked closing his eyes. It was pointless to pretend he didn't know it was Ian. "Where the fuck did you get that guy?" He asked not caring if he sounded jealous.

"I don't even remember, man." Ian's voice was strained but it had a tone of amusement in it. Mickey slowly sat up feeling every single bone in his body protest at the moment. His legs didn't quite reach the floor like Ian's and he allowed them to swing for a little bit. Comfortable silence lulling between the two men. Ian managed to get out a cigarette for himself. Mickey looked him over. There was some blood on his face and chest, his knuckles were torn and scabs were already forming around the small patches of red. A split lip and a bruise on his cheek but other than that, he seemed to be better off than Mickey. His eyes were closed which Mickey took as a blessing. He wasn't sure he wouldn't push Gallagher down and kiss the fucking life out of him.

"How long was I out?" Mickey asked looking around at the now empty bar. "Don't know. A while. I kinda missed some time when I was going..." Ian stabbed at the air with his right hand and cringing at the movement. Mickey figured he must have fucked up his ribs. His ribs always ended up fucked during a fight. Jess came up to them with her hands on her hips.

"I tell you that the bar is actually doing good and you start a fucking fight?" She spat at Mickey.

"I didn't--It wasn't my fault. That asswipe threw the first punch." Mickey defended himself.

"Not at you!" She shrieked and hit his head. "Go home to your family and don't come back any time soon. You're fucking up my business." She hissed at him and pointed to the door. Mickey stood up and moved slowly trying to hold in any whimpers of pain that seemed to escape him nevertheless. He felt Ian chuckle and move next to him.

"You need help?" Ian asked and suddenly Mickey remembered why it was so dangerous to be around the carrot top.

He remembered how much Ian hurt him. He remembered how much he longed for him.

He remembered how Ian frustrated him to no end. He remembered how Ian taught him how to love.

"I'm good." Mickey muttered looking down at his feet where his coat was. He briefly wondered if Ian was the one to put him on the pool table before deciding it was too scary to go down that line of thought. Mickey picked up his coat and slowly put it on. His own ribs also felt fucked up.

"Mick--"

"Don't." Mickey cut Ian off sharply not looking at the younger man and resumed his hellish journey to the door. Once outside, he flopped down onto the sidewalk. The concrete was covered in snow, his ass now wet and cold but Mickey honestly felt like he needed a break. He heard Ian sigh behind him and he closed his eyes. "Go away, Gallagher." He murmured more to himself but Ian heard him because he heard the other man still.

"We gotta talk." Ian said quietly. Mickey didn't react. "Please?" Ian's voice was soft, pleading and sweet. Like an angel's. He heard the younger man move and when he smelled him, he opened his eyes to see Ian sitting next to him.

"I'm not really interested, Ian." Saying his name felt like swallowing a thousand sharp razors down his throat yet as natural as breathing at the same time. Mickey hated that he still had that affect on him.

"Well, I am." Ian's face was as defiant as Yev's whenever the boy was determined to do something. "I need you to listen to me. For ten years I never got a chance to explain."

"What's there to explain? You fucked someone else. End of story, Cinderella."

"I thought he was you." Ian's voice was loud and clear. Mickey stared at him, baffled. The entire world seemed to stop with that one sentence.

"The fuck you mean?" Came an eloquent response from the Milkovich.

"I mean..." Ian's eyes were starting to water but he wouldn't blink. Their faces close. Covered in blood. Stinking of booze and God knows what. "I....I thought he was you. I didn't....the medication wasn't...." Mickey's world suddenly started shaking as he started to understand. "I stopped taking it because it fucked me up. You remember that?" Mickey nodded as Ian's voice got quieter. "And I was having an episode. And I hallucinated. And I thought..." Ian looked away from Mickey for a second before whispering the next words. "I thought he was you." Mickey felt like laughing. He felt like screaming. He felt like hitting something. He opted for putting his fist in the cold snow. He bit his lip and looked over at Ian who stared at him with big green watery eyes. Mickey felt his chest shake as he laughed bitterly in Ian's face.

"So not only did you fuck around on me, you also lied about not taking your medication? I asked you about that shit every single fucking night. I checked the perscriptions. Guess my math must have been off or you threw the pills out." Ian's head hung low as Mickey laughed more naturally now. "Fuck, Gallagher. Fucking fuck you. Why do you have to make hating you so fucking hard?" Ian smirked shyly and rubbed the back of his head.

"Pun intended?" Mickey snorted

"Fuck you, dick."

"Gladly." Ian's shy smirk turned predatory. Mickey stared at his face for a moment, feeling a smile on his own face before taking in the long way home in front of him. He groaned as he thought about what Yev would say if he saw him like that. "Will you come tomorrow?" Ian's voice was unsure. Mickey badly wanted to lean over and kiss him. Take those red lips in between his and run his hands underneath Ian's shirt right on that sidewalk.

"My kid's kinda being a bitch about it so I probably should." He didn't need to look at the redhead to know Ian would be grinning like crazy. "Why the fuck didn't you ever tell me, Gallagher?" Ian remained quiet for a little too long before Mickey allowed himself to look at the man again. Ian seemed to be lost in his own thoughts, his mouth in a thin line, his brow furred as he searched for the right response.

"You didn't really give me any time to. You just left with the baby the next day. Didn't even tell your wife you were gone. In some states that's called child kidnapping, you know." Mickey rolled his eyes. His ass numb from the cold. "Besides, right after I realised....after I...after what happened, I crashed. Was nearly as bad as Monica. Debbie kept on saying it would okay. But it wasn't. All I knew was that I fucked up so bad and I lost you again. This time purely because of my own fault." Mickey felt his chest tighten as the two locked gazes. "Mick....you have no idea how much I miss---how sorry---I never stopped lo---you've just got no idea. And I would take it all back. I would do better. I wouldn't have gone off my meds. I'm so sorry, Mickey." The Milkovich felt his tear ducks work perfectly at that moment so he looked away again.

"Yeah. Me too, Gallagher." He wasn't sure what he was sorry for. Just that he was. Mickey stood up and didn't look back at Ian. "See you, tomorrow." He called back as he started to walk away and again knew Ian would be wearing that fucking happy as shit grin that wrecked him.

When Mickey was lying on the couch after a very warm long shower that coincided with a very long jerking off session, he thought about that grin. He thought about Ian's depression when Ian wouldn't get out of bed for days and how he tried to do anything in his power to make the grin appear. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. He drifted off to the memories of the past mixed with the memories of that evening.

At breakfast, Yev was chatting away happily about his recent school trip to the museum. Mandy was listening attentively and Lip balanced between changing Izzy and making smart ass comments. Mickey sat in silence until the was a lull in the conversation before asking Mandy what time they were planning on going to the Gallaghers. She looked at him surprised and asked why. When Mickey shrugged nonchalantly and said he was coming along, everyone in the house froze and stared at him. He pointedly ignored their behaviour and continued on eating his cereal. A good five minutes of silence passed before anyone made a move.

"Holy shit." Mandy muttered. "Did you two bang?" Mickey rolled his eyes and hit her shoulder which she didn't even blink at. "Is my brother, the epitome of fucked up, finally getting over his shit?"

"If you don't shut the fuck up, I'm not going to help you with the fucking groceries." She mimed zipping her mouth shut but then started cackling. Yev joined in on the cackling. Lip just murmured something to his daughter. 

They went to the supermarket as the fridge at the Gallagher-Milkovich household was empty as fuck. Yev pushed the stroller with Izzy in it whilst Lip walked next to him with the cart. The two Milkoviches lagged behind, trying to out wit each other in insulting random people. Mandy was winning with _'the poor bitch that fucked Iggy that one time and got so many STDs even the whore club didn't want her'_. Lip and Yev were debating what chips would be more festive when Mandy asked Mickey why he changed his mind.

"I'm...I think it would be good for Yev to...get to know South Side a bit better." He replied omininously.

"Wait." She stopped them walking and pulled Mickey out of the way as some old lady cussed them. "Are you planning on making these visits a regular thing?" Mandy asked confused.

"Sort of." Mandy gasped as the realization dawned upon her.

"Are you thinking of moving back?!" She exclaimed in whispers.

"Keep that to your fucking self." Mickey hissed at his sister. "I'm just thinking about it. Doesn't mean it will happen."

"Is it because of Ian?"

"Why the fuck does my life have to revolve around Ian? No, it's not because of Ian. Not everything is around Ian." He took a deep breath. "Yev hates LA and he's all alone. Here he's got friends and family. People to look out for him. People that won't mess with him. He'd be better off here. I'm only worried about the schools." Mandy's jaw dropped at how responsible her brother was at that moment. "My job wouldn't be a problem. I finished my apprenticeship so I could find a glazing company or do something else. I ain't very picky. And I got some money saved up. And I wouldn't mind seeing your ugly face in real life instead of over Skype. It isn't for sure, Mands. I'm just thinking about it. So keep your mouth shut. I know it's difficult for you to grasp the concept of keeping anything shut but.." She kicked his shin with a smug expression.

"You wanna move back. Because you love me." Mickey rolled his eyes. "Say it, you fuck. You wanna move back because you miss me."

"No."

"Say it."

"Fuck off."

"I'll force you to hug me if you don't, asswipe."

"Fine. I fucking miss you, you cunt." Mandy gave him the most dazzling smile and walked away after her family. Mickey let out a breath of relief that there wasn't any more damage before he heard Mandy's cackling again. This was turning out to be a very long Christmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The situation with Ian did actually happen to someone close to me IRL and the consequences of it were catastrophic for everyone involved. I did get permission to use it in this fic and I'm trying to make things better not just for Gallavich but for this person.
> 
> Hit me up on tumblr: dominikadecember
> 
> Also, the next chapter will make Gallavich shippers happy but chapter 7 will probably destroy you guys.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this fic.
> 
> I love you guys so much.


	6. They Wanna Tell Me What I'm Feeling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning. There is some smut.
> 
> Not much. I'm not really good at writing smut.
> 
> But yup. It is.
> 
> Unbeta'd.

Mickey fumbled nervously with his collar. It was one of his nicer shirts. One he wore when he went for Yev's parents' evening. Mandy wouldn't stop laughing as he changed over and over again. He wanted to look nice. For himself. Not for a certain redhead that cheated on him ten years ago because of a stupid disorder and he didn't know how he felt about it. Yev glanced at his father and clicked his tongue as his aunt and uncle were walking in front with his cousin. 

"Dad, you'll wrinkle your shirt if you keep doing that."

"You think?" Mickey asked with wide eyes and immediately lowered his hand. Yev shook his head smiling slowly.

"I've never seen you like this. It's pretty adorable." Mickey glared at his son who grinned up at him.

"It's not adorable. I'm not adorable. You're adorable. You're tiny and shit. I'm manly as hell." 

"Whatever you say, dad." They continued the walk in silence but Mickey felt himself sweat with nerves and went back to fiddling with his collar. The walk wasn't long, but the cold made it seem much longer. And Yev's knowing smile. And Lip and Mandy constantly stopping and fussing over Izzy. They both seemed to be really worried about her if she'd get ill. Mickey read somewhere that first time parents can do that but he knew that his sister's worrying was a notch higher because of Izzy's premature birth. Even though she seemed to be healthy at the moment, she still could have complications. 

When they got to the Gallagher house, Lip took Izzy into his arms whilst Mandy struggled with the stroller. Mickey asked if she needed any help and she shook her head but cursed when her thumb got caught in the monstrosity. Mickey quickly got to his sister and set her free whilst holding onto the stroller. Mandy smiled at him and took her finger into her mouth.

"Fucking piece of shit." She murmured and started walking up the stairs. Yev quickly shuffled behind her, Lip with Izzy afterwards and Mickey last. 

He was not hyperventilating. He wasn't. And Lip could fuck off with his raised eyebrow.

Mandy went straight in, the door clearly unlocked and yelled a hello to which she got a number of responses. Mickey closed the door behind him and hovered at the back as Lip and Fiona hugged whilst Mandy just waved. Debbie and Carl ran down the stairs to say hello. 

"Mickey. Glad you could come." Fiona smiled at him in a genuine way. He nodded and took off his coat.

"I forced him to." Yev grinned happily. "Hi, Miss Gallagher. Is Liam around?" She grinned back at the boy.

"Hey, Yev. It's Fiona, remember? No need for the formalities. He's upstairs." Mickey noticed Jimmy and Debbie's boyfriend in the kitchen with aprons on. There was a large table in the middle of the living room half filled with food. Clearly, the Gallaghers were better off nowdays to afford so much. Or it was stolen. Mickey would put more money on it being stolen. Lip started to walk off with Izzy into the kitchen whilst Mandy took her coat off before a foul stench overtook the room. Everyone groaned and stared at the baby that started crying. 

"We just got in." Lip moaned as he reached for the bag from Mandy.

"I can change her." Yev said eagerly, excited at the prospect of helping out. Mandy and Lip eyed him wearily and Mickey rolled his eyes. 

"Fucking hell, pass her over." He reached for his niece and kicked the bag to his son. Lip indeed passed his crying child to his brother-in-law who didn't blink at the tiny fists hitting him and pushed past the three Gallaghers up the stairs. 

"Don't get any shit on my stuff!" He heard Debbie shout behind him.

"He won't." Yev replied and followed his father ignoring the surprised looks from everyone. "Dad is a pro at this." Mickey snorted and opened the door to the first room he saw which had a startled Ian sprawled out on the bed, hurrying to get his large erection in his boxers. Mickey stared for a second before remembering his son was behind him and closed the door.

"Nope. Not this one." He said in a strained voice as the image was burned in his brain. They went into the next room and Mickey laid Izzy down on the bed, rolling up his sleeves. He grabbed a nearby towel and put it underneath the baby before getting to work. Yev patiently watched his father and passed him whatever tools he needed from the bag whenever he was asked to.

Mickey really was a pro at changing diapers efficiently and quickly. He had to be. His jobs often required him to be fast with a screaming baby on his arm. When he worked in New York it was easiest because there was always a flat surface laying about that he could use. 

Once Izzy's new diaper was secure, Mickey told Yev to go and dispose of the dirty one. Yev looked around, opened the window and threw it out. He closed the window and turned around to see a frowning Mickey.

"That wasn't what I meant." Mickey berated. Yev shrugged.

"It worked, didn't it?" Mickey shook his head and put the stuff back into Izzy's bag. "Can I take her and play with Liam?" The Gallagher in question suddenly appeared at the door.

"Dude, Kev brought his Xbox yesterday. We're not leaving that TV until I kick some major ass." Yev looked at his father questiongly. 

"Take your cousin down to your aunt and then you can play." Yev grinned and scooped Izzy up along with her bag before running like a dog after Liam. Mickey chuckled and went into the bathroom to wash his hands suddenly remembering what he saw a couple of minutes ago. Ian must have been jerking off. That much was obvious. Mickey let himself for a moment hope that he was the one the redhead was thinking about. 

He imagined Ian's long fingers around himself lazily tugging and mouthing Mickey's name silently. He didn't have to imagine. Not really. He had the memories. 

"Shit." Mickey hissed as the water started to scorch his bruised hands.

As he walked out of the bathroom, he saw the redhead come out of his room. His face just as red, the bruise from yesterday already fading. His lips parted and eyes widened when he saw Mickey at the other end of the hallway. The room was formely Lip's. Mickey remembered that for some reason. 

"You might wanna keep your door locked for the rub 'n' tag." Mickey answered, looking down to unroll his sleaves. He frown at the crinkles. He wanted the shirt to look nice. "Just 'cause a door's closed, it don't mean stop. Especially for kids." He saw in the corner of his eye the other man rub the back of his neck and take a few steps towards Mickey.

"Yeah, it wasn't---I didn't---It was a last minute....thing." Mickey smirked at the red head who looked embarrassed. 

"Sure, Firecrotch." Ian looked taken aback at the old nickname and Mickey kicked himself mentally for the Freudian slip before the redhead licked his lips making Mickey's dick twitch already and took another step towards the Milkovich who had no intention of backing away, interested as to where this would lead to. 

"You're right. It wasn't." Ian's voice was dangerously low and he had that look in his eyes that said he wanted Mickey. That look of lust Mickey craved every single day for the past ten years. "Since the moment I saw you again. Since that night at the Alibi when you wouldn't even look at me." Mickey's breath hitched as Ian loomed over him, close enough for their chests to touch yet still too far away to do so. "And that day at the airport." Ian whispered leaning down, Mickey's heart pounding hard in his chest, his own fingers twitching to touch, his mouth to taste. "And yesterday when you fucking defended my honour." Ian's voice was nearly inaudible with a small smile on his face intertwined with an expression of want. Mickey couldn't stop staring at his lips, cursing his jeans that were a contraption for the hard on he was sporting. Ian moved even closer without touching Mickey, just hovering over him. His eyes dark. "Mick..." 

Mickey grabbed Ian's shirt and dragged them both into the bathroom, closing the door behind them. Once he was sure the door was locked he turned to see Ian looking at him still with those dark eyes but a smug smile. 

"Fucker." Mickey grunted as he pushed Ian against the door and got down on his knees quickly unbuttoning Ian's jeans that outlined the redhead's erection. 

Ian's dick was a thing of beauty. Mickey couldn't help but take a few moments to stare at it when it sprung free from Ian's boxers. All hard and red and big. Precome already leaking down. Mickey thought it was impossible to get even more aroused at that point but Ian always liked to prove him wrong.

Mickey took Ian's cock into his hands and slowly started stroking him, he grinned to himself as he heard Ian stifle a groan. The best part of them fucking was when Ian made noises like that. Barely could contain himself because Mickey was that good. The Milkovich man brought his face next to Ian's shaft and started mouthing at his balls which Ian couldn't restrain himself at. His groan was loud and he dug his fingers in the door's wood. Mickey hummed as he sucked on the right testicle and looked up at the Gallagher whose head was thrown back as much as it was possible.

Mickey let go of the testicle and swiped a long lick from the base up to the head of Ian's dick covered in precome which made the Gallagher man whimper. Mickey grinned not caring he probably had saliva and precome falling down on his nice shirt and attacked Ian's cock with his whole mouth, his tongue licking him up like a lollipop.

God, he missed this. The feeling of almost gagging on Ian's dick and having Ian's fingers in his hair, pressing his face down to take in more of Ian which Mickey was more than willing to. He slowly started bobbing his head up and down to tease Ian as much as possible but the noises the Gallagher was making were fucking with his own head. He palmed at his own erection through his jeans but the friction wasn't enough. So he let Ian pick up the pace and start thrusting into Mickey's mouth whilst the older man pulled out his own hard cock and started to tug himself off. He looked at Ian who was now glancing down. His eyes darker than before, grunting as he fucked Mickey's face and moaning when he saw Mickey was jerking himself off. 

"Fuck, Mick." Ian gasped out and Mickey hummed, letting his tongue slide over Ian's dick. "Not fair." Ian growled as the humming from Mickey's throat was making him harder. "Close. Fuck. So close." Mickey couldn't help but grin in his own way with his face busy with Ian's dick. He wanted to do this forever but the price of a locked jaw seemed too steep. Ian came with a moan, head thrown back, his fingers clutching onto Mickey's hair for dear life, hot in Mickey's mouth. 

Mickey swallowed quickly as Ian tried to catch his breath, and looked down at his own still very hard dick. Would it be inappropriate to just jerk off real fast or should he ask Ian to help him out? Mickey stared at his erection for a few seconds wondering what he should do when Ian pushed him up onto the toilet seat and lapped at it eagerly on his knees.

Mickey felt his eyes roll in the back of his head as the warm mouth he never forgot was sending shivers down his spine. No one ever compared to Ian's blowjobs. They were always quick and sloppy, he never took the time with them like he was afraid he wouldn't be able to finish them or something. Which was quite often in their teens. But no one ever compared to how good they felt. No one. Mickey let himself look at the redhead who was staring at him with a mischievous glint in his green eyes. His cheeks hollowed out as he sucked on Mickey's dick. 

The Milkovich grinned at him and let his own fingers run through the ginger head of hair. In that moment right there, it all seemed to be okay. It all seemed to work out. It all seemed to be fucking incredible. He felt his own release coming on as Ian gripped his hips tightly. Mickey whimpered as Ian took a pause in the magnificent blowjob he was performing.

"Say my name, Mick." Ian murmured hovering over Mickey's throbbing cock. The other man smirked as he remembered it was a kink of his. Screaming Ian's name as he came. "Say it." Ian growled. "Over and over." Mickey's mouth went dry all of the sudden as Ian stared at him with extreme intensity. 

"Ian." He manged to get out once, his hands still in Ian's hair. The Gallagher seemed satisfied and slowly devaoured Mickey's cock again, his green eyes firmly locked with Mickey's blues. "Ian. Ian." The redhead started moving faster the more Mickey chanted his name. "Ian. Ian. Ian." Mickey started seeing white spots behind his eyes as Ian kept on sucking him off. "Fuck, Ian. Gonna come." Ian didn't stop, in fact he kept on moving faster as Mickey's hips lifted up and he started spurting come into the Gallagher's mouth that the other man seemed to swallow just as eagerly as Mickey did his. 

Ian licked Mickey's dick clean as the Milkovich breathed heavily on the toilet and buttoned up his jeans before butting his own. Mickey closed his eyes and ran his hand over his face before groaning. This time, not in ecstasy.

"What's wrong?" He felt Ian's concern more than he heard it. He shook his head and stood up to wash his hands. "Mickey, come on." Ian grabbed his arm but Mickey flinched away stilling the other man.

"This shouldn't have happen, Gallagher." He wouldn't look up at those green eyes. 

"Maybe. But I don't regret it." Ian placed his hand on Mickey's neck and the Milkovich unconsciously leaned into the touch. "I hope you don't either. Because then the next two days are gonna be super awkward with us locked in this house." Mickey couldn't help but snort at that. "Mickey." Ian whispered lifting Mickey's chin up with his other hand. "Stop freaking out. I don't expect anything. Like a relationship or forgiveness or things like that. And I won't force you into anything. I promise." He looked so sincere. It was too much. Everything was too much. Mickey wanted to kiss him so badly right then and there, consequences be damned, but he was startled out of his thoughts by his son's voice yelling to get downstairs. Ian didn't move away. His hands still on Mickey holding the other man in his place.

"I'm not freaking out." He sighed. "And I don't regret....but that's all this was, Gallagher. You understand. Just a one time....slip." The corner of Ian's mouth quirked upwards like he didn't really believe Mickey but he nodded.

Mickey shrugged Ian off him before taking in his own appearance. Once he deemed it acceptable, with only one small wet stain, he walked down the stairs to see his son beating Lip Gallagher at Forza and cussing like there was no tomorrow. Lip was also swearing but for an entirely different reason. He was losing. 

"DAD!" Yev screamed even though Mickey was standing right behind him. "AM I NOT THE BEST?! I AM THE FUCKING BEST! IN YOUR FACE UNCLE LIP! YOU ARE SUCH A LOSER! I AM GONNA WIPE YOUR ASS WITH THIS FUCKING GAME!" He laughed manically.

"BULLSHIT! YOU'RE JUST A FUCKING LITTLE KID WHO DOESN'T EVEN WIPE HIS OWN ASS AND STILL NEEDS HIS DADDY TO DO IT! I'M JUST GOING EASY ON YOU, YOU COCKY LITTLE SHIT!" Lip screamed right back. Mickey murmured that they should watch the language and looked around to see Mandy, Debbie and Fiona arguing over which desert should be stored away for tomorrow morning. Debbie's boyfriend, Matt, and Jimmy were in the kitchen cooing over Izzy and Liam was filming the hilarious rivalry between his brother and his friend. Mickey rolled his eyes and went into the kitchen to get a beer. He heard Yev cackle in triumph as Lip cried out in vain and smirked that his son beat the most intelligent man they knew. Carl came in through the back door and went straight into the living room smelling of smoke followed by Debbie's boyfriend (Matt), Jimmy and Sheila. Mickey blinked as he opened the fridge.

Where the fuck has Sheila come from all of the sudden? 

But it seemed everyone was okay with her sudden appearance and in fact, his own sister seemed to welcome it the most. Mickey shook his head and reached down to get the beer. Canadian beer. He heard Kevin and Veronica with their two brats come in through the front door and closed the fridge. He didn't expect to see Debbie Gallagher to be standing there, glaring at him. 

"Jesus, warn a guy first before you do that." He said holding onto his chest as if that would stop his imaginary heart attack. She crossed her arms with smugness and malice painted on her face.

"You know you're not good enough for him, right?" She started and Mickey froze. "You left him in pieces, asshole. You're just a useless piece of closeted gay trash who honestly should do what he does best. Leave and never come back. No one wants you here. Not Lip, not Mandy and certainly not Ian." Mickey was about to respond with a very loud _'Fuck you!'_ when someone else spoke up.

"Don't talk to my dad like that." Yev came into the kitchen with his eyes narrowed at Debbie and stood in front of Mickey, protectively. "You don't have any right to." Debbie blinked taken aback by the ten year old before smiling that patronizing smile Mickey recognised in adults all the time. Yev despised that smile.

"Listen, this may be a little bit difficult for you to understand because you're so young but you and your dad don't belong here." She said in a sickly sweet voice that went well with her patronizing smile.

"Who are you to say that to me?" Yev's voice got louder. "Who the hell are you to say something so horrible to a kid?" Mickey placed his hand on Yev's shoulder trying to calm his son who shrugged it off. The older Milkovich noticed Ian walking into the kitchen and stop as he assessed the situation. "I belong wherever I want to. And you don't get to say things like that. It's none of your fucking business!" Debbie stared shocked at Yev who was breathing heavily. The living room got quiet listening to what was being said.

"Look--" Debbie started with that patronizing voice of hers. 

"No." Mickey stopped her. "You don't like me. I don't give a fuck. You're just a twenty three year old punk ass bitch who still thinks she can change the world. But stop trying to ruin Christmas for my son. Because then we're gonna have a problem." Debbie glared at him, glared at Yev, glared at the living room and ran upstairs past Ian. Yev turned to Mickey. There was muttering audible in the room.

"I beat uncle Lip's high score." 

"That's a lie!" He heard Lip scream from the living room and he pushed his son in that direction. The muttering grew to a normal chatter.

"Good going, kid. I'm gonna go for a smoke." Yev grabbed onto his sleeve and hugged him. Mickey winced at the flash of pain from his own ribs.

"I belong where you belong, dad." He said quietly. Mickey hugged his son back and ignored the photo that Mandy was taking of them not very discreetly

"Same here, Yevvy." He kissed the top of the boy's head and waited patiently for him to pull away first. Yev did after a few seconds and ran back into the living room challenging Lip once more. 

Mickey grabbed his coat and went outside without looking at anyone. All these emotions were seriously fucking with his already hurt head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thank you so much for such detailed feedback. It really made me happy to get such a brilliant response from you guys. Now I'll try to say this in the nicest way possible without offending anyone, including myself. This fic is going to be a Gallavich happy ending fic. You may not like how this story progresses and for that I advise you to no longer read it.
> 
> I adored your feedback but it also made me feel really shitty at the same time. And I am really struggling with it at the moment. Like it really impacted on me IRL. In a negative way. But honestly, if you guys don't like where the story is going, just don't read it. Find a better fic. Find one that doesn't piss you off. Find one that is nice and fluffy and happy and really well written.
> 
> As to Ian's reason for why he cheated on Mickey. It's not a lie. It's what happened. And it isn't an excuse. There's no excuse for cheating. At least not to me.
> 
> My aunt suffers from bipolar and this happened to her. She was traumatized for a very long time with what happened. She stopped taking her medication because her sex drive was nonexistent on those meds and she cheated on her partner. The person she slept with felt like he took advantage of her, her partner still cannot look at her and she hasn't been the same since. 
> 
> In this fic the headcanon is that Ian wasn't okay after he cheated on Mickey. He couldn't forgive himself and he never pursued Mickey because he didn't think Mickey couldn't forgive him either. Maybe I didn't explain that properly in the fic, for which I apologise if you got confused, but that is what happened. 
> 
> And trust me. There is no forgiveness going on any time soon. Just because Ian cheated as a result of his disorder, that doesn't mean jack shit. He went off the meds, that is on him. 
> 
> I do mean that I love your feedback and I love the fact that a lot of you guys feel so passionately about this but for the sake of my own sanity, don't read the fic anymore. Or at least rant on tumblr about how horrible it is. I'm sorry I'm making such a fucking ridiculous request. Honestly, I feel really embarrassed to be doing so because I love you guys and I loved the responses but when I obsess about it and start questioning everything I do IRL, it's not healthy. I'm really sorry guys. 
> 
> And if someone would like to become a beta for this fic, I'd welcome you with open arms. You guys could help me make this fic better if you'd like.
> 
> Just contact me on tumblr: dominikadecember.
> 
> But if not, then please. Go find a better fanfic.


	7. A Safe Haven Of Sleepless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. So. I'm embarrassed. Because I feel like a complete idiot. 
> 
> And you guys are so incredible.
> 
> I am so thankful that I got such supportive and understanding answers. I want to go around to each and every single one of you and just give you candy. Lots and lots of candy. And the good candy not the shitty candy.
> 
> I was really scared that I would turn people off with that note and I am so thankful that I didn't. 
> 
> I cried a little because you guys are just so beautiful and you get this story and I just ugh....I don't have the words.
> 
> Thank you.
> 
> THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> I love you all. Thank you.

Everyone was happy and yelling and eating and talking and laughing like it was the greatest night ever. Gallaghers really did know how to party although no one debated that. Booze was flowing everywhere and when even Carl was falling asleep at the table, Fiona clapped her hands ordering sleep and making sleeping arrangements. Mandy, Lip and Izzy took Ian's room. Debbie and Matt were going to stay in Debbie's old room. Yev, Carl and Liam would stay in Liam's room. Ian and Mickey would stay in the living room. Kev and Veronica could fuck off home. Sheila left an hour earlier.

Mickey glanced nervously at the redhead who didn't seem affected at the other end of the table. They must have worked everything out before hand. Yev was jumping in his seat at the prospect of having a sleepover with his friend. He never had a sleepover back in LA. Kids never even invited him to birthday parties. But Yev didn't seem to care that he missed out on some stuff.

Debbie, Matt, Jimmy, Lip, Carl, Yev, Liam and Izzy all went upstairs talking over each other as Kev left with his family promising to return tomorrow to get his Xbox back. Fiona just waved him and Veronica off before collapsing lazily in her chair next to Mandy's. Ian stood up and started to put the chairs away.

"Ian, come on. Just do it later." He scoffed at his older sister.

"We're the ones who are sleeping in here." He pointed to himself and Mickey who was watching him with narrowed eyes.

"You take your pills?" Mickey asked crossing his arms. Ian stopped what he was doing and glared at Mickey before shaking his head.

"I take them in half an hour." He replied clearly and went back to putting the chairs away. Mandy stretched out in the silence.

"That was good." She murmured and patted her stomach. "I just gotta not move for like five years."

"Good luck with that." She managed to kick Mickey under the table in the shin which was bruising from her constant kicking. He hissed in pain.

"Serves you right, asswipe." She yawned and stretched again. "Okay, I'm gonna head upstairs. See you guys tomorrow." That left Fiona, restless Ian and Mickey who was still drinking his beer sitting in really awkward silence.

"Maybe you guys can help out?" Ian asked, frustration clear in his voice. Fiona shrugged and Mickey flipped him off. "Right. Sorry for disturbing your shit."

"Forgiveness is everything, little brother." Fiona responded, closing her eyes. Mickey kicked her chair.

"Hey, no. You got a bedroom upstairs. No falling asleep here." She frowned but indeed got up and started to walk upstairs slowly. That left Mickey and Ian. By themselves. With Ian being restless. And Mickey pretending to not give a shit.

Ian stared at Mickey expectedly and the Milkovich rolled his eyes.

"Fine. Jesus." He got up and started to put the chairs to the side. Once the table was left, they moved it out of the way, more towards the kitchen. Ian's biceps flexing as they lifted the heavy wood up. Mickey looked at the living room. "So how are we gonna do this?"

"You take the couch, I take the floor." Ian replied, grabbing a couple of empty bottles and taking them to the kitchen. Mickey followed suite with any trash he could find and threw it away. They worked in silence like that for a little while, cleaning up the mess that everyone left behind and putting the left over food in the fridge. "I think we got enough stuff here for the next month." Mickey nodded, opting to not say anything. "You need any clothes or something?" Ian asked turning to him. Mickey thought about it. He had his sweats with him which was enough.

"Nah, I've got my own." Ian nodded and went into the toilet. Mickey took the opportunity to change in the living room. His nice shirt no longer nice. Liam and Yev started having a food fight at a certain point and the shirt was just a casualty in their war. His jeans were no better. Once he put on his sweats he frowned at the clothes. Maybe he could rinse some of the crap out now. He didn't notice Ian standing in the kitchen staring at him until they bumped into each other sending little electric spasms over Mickey's body.

He noticed Ian also changed. And was slightly shaking. Mickey realised the Gallagher just took his pills. He looked away uncomfortably from the other man, not wanting to make a big deal putting his clothes to one side.

"Blanket?" Mickey asked staring at the couch. Ian nodded but didn't move and he wouldn't stop staring at him which was making Mickey even more uncomfortable. He walked to the closet he remembered used to stash some things like that. Blankets, bed sheets, etc. With each step, firmly aware of Ian's green eyes on him but he couldn't take it anymore. "Take a picture, hot shot. It'll fucking last longer." He spat at Ian holding a blanket close to his chest. There was a moment of silence lulling between them as Mickey refused to look at Ian. He was perfectly aware he was being childish and stubborn but he didn't want a repeat performance of what happened in the bathroom. So he opted for being a jerk.

"You're beautiful." Ian breathed out. Mickey couldn't remember anyone saying that to him. It was strange hearing it. Especially strange coming from Ian. The man who broke his heart.

"Yeah. Well...yeah." Mickey responded lamely and forced himself to walk to the couch instead of the kitchen.

"Wanna watch a movie or something?" Ian asked as he slowly moved towards the living room. Mickey shrugged nonchalantly which the Gallagher took as a yes and dropped himself next to Mickey onto the couch with the remote. Too close for Mickey's comfort. Ian smelled fresh and minty intertwined with his own natural scent that drove Mickey fucking crazy. They settled on some crappy TV drama.

"I'm sorry about Debbie." Ian said out of the sudden. "What she said. It wasn't any of her business." Mickey wanted to sleep but his body was buzzing with energy of sitting next to Ian making slumber impossible. "Yev clearly has a lot of Svetlana in him. I thought he'd be charging at Debbie with his fists, not his words." Mickey rubbed his knee with his hand, the bruised knuckles still red.

"He's not really that type of kid. Looks a lot like me but that's really where the family resemblence stops." Ian hummed.

"You'd be surprised." He murmured. Mickey snapped his head at him with narrowed eyes.

"The fuck you mean?"

"Just that he has the fighting spirit like you." Mickey quickly got up off the couch. 

"Gallagher. Let me say this in a way you're gonna get straight away." He hissed at Ian who looked startled. "You don't fucking know me. Just because we got off in each other it doesn't mean jack shit. You fucked someone else. I fucking came out to my father so we would have a fucking relationship and you pissed all over that." Ian stared at him with wide eyes. "You think we're gonna play house now? That you're gonna be a father to my kid? Ten years changes a lot, Ian."

"I know that." Ian's red knuckles were turning white from the grip he had his fists in.

"I ignored Mandy's little airport ambush because I want Yev to have a good Christmas but that shit wasn't okay. I didn't want to see you. I didn't want to fucking talk to you. You ripped my fucking heart out, Ian. As far as I was concerned, you and I wouldn't interact ever fucking again." 

"Mick--"

"The bipolar shit is a bitch. I know. Because I lived through it with you. And I'm sorry that it happened to you. Sorry that you hallucinated and fucked someone else. But that doesn't change anything." Mickey kept on saying everything he's ever wanted to say to Ian. "I loved you so fucking much and it fucking wrecked me. And the fuck is this shit, with Fiona forcing the two of us sleep in the same fucking room? Why does everyone think that we're gonna get back together? You and I are done. We've been done for years. The only thing I would ever want from you is a quickie in the can." Ian stood up himself, fire in his eyes that made Mickey's heart pound in his chest.

"Don't do that. Don't fucking lie to me. You and I are not, we've never been fucking done. Every single day I regret not taking my meds back then. Every single fucking guy I fucked, I pictured you to just get off. I love you, Mickey. I never stopped and I never will. You love me too. I know it. I know that the both of us are still in love!"

"And that is meant to make everything okay?" 

"No." Ian rubbed his face. "No, this is---this is so fucked and impossible. I just want to be with you. All the fucking time. And I want to make everything okay."

"It's been ten years and I'm still not over it." Mickey said. "How the fuck do you think you can make everything okay?" Ian raised his eyebrow suggestively staring at Mickey's jeans. "Oh yeah. Because that's healthy."

"Since when are you a fan of healthy?"

"Since I want my son to see healthy relationships."

"This whole Yev shit is getting exhausting, Mickey." Ian spat frustrated. The Milkovich man took a step back as Ian realised he said the wrong thing. Mickey only once in his life felt this angry. It was also with Ian. Ian balls deep in some other fucker's ass on their bed. "Mick--"

"Fuck. Off." Mickey spoke dangerously low. 

"I didn't---"

"Yes, you did fucking mean it." He cut off the redhead. "It was so much easier dealing with this shit back then, wasn't it? When Yev didn't exist. Yeah, he might have been a product of rape by proxy but guess what, Gallagher? He's my son. And I know I didn't want him back when I was a fucking kid but he is my son. He is the only person in this fucking world that is good and has never fucked up with me. Or judged me when I fucked up." Ian's eyes shined brightly in the dim light of the room with water. Mickey didn't care though. He could cry a fucking river. No one had the right to mess with Yev. "I love him more than anything in this world. I love him more than I could ever fucking love you. So fuck the hell off."

"I'm sorry." Ian murmured staring at Mickey. 

"You fucking should be." Mickey growled and went into the kitchen for a beer avoiding any contact with the other man.

He sat at the kitchen table, his back towards the living room and glared at the door. He heard Ian move around but wouldn't look away, still feeling anger inside him. At some point in the night he feel asleep at the table, still sitting up in his chair. His dream was strange. He was back in his old house with Terry, Tony and Iggy talking about pineapples and giraffe bashing. Terry's face turned into a snail and his brothers started to hop with their bunny tails. There were guns laying around and Mickey really didn't want to eat his bunny brothers but Terry explained in a slow voice moving towards a gate made of cigarettes that bunny meat created brotherhood for life. Then Svetlana appeared with an adult Yev who was in a blue cap and gown singing the Ukrainian hymn in specific detail. 

Mickey was shaken awake by his sister who looked at him worried.

"What happened?" She asked sitting next to him. Mickey's muscles hurt from his sitting position and the light from the window made him wince. 

"What?" 

"My best friend is brooding and my husband says it's your fault."

"None of your fucking business." Mickey rubbed his eyes and let his head fall on the kitchen table.

"It is when I'm afraid Ian is going to have another episode. I mean, we don't know what the fuck could set him off. Last time he got depressed because--"

"Mandy, I don't care." Mickey cut her off. "I honestly cannot make myself give a shit anymore." Mandy looked taken aback at the coldness in her brother's voice. 

"Mickey. What the hell happened?" He stood up and looked at the living room where his son was walking down the stairs, rubbing his eyes the same way Mickey did a second before with Ian staring with a sad face at the tv. 

"I mean it. I don't give a shit anymore." He said staring at Ian's profile. "Coming back here was a mistake. And I just want to get the fuck out before I make any more."

"For Yev or for yourself?" Mandy asked from behind him. Mickey didn't respond as his son sat next to his ex boyfriend because he knew if he said Yev, Mandy would spot the lie immediately. Turned out he didn't even have to speak as she snorted. "Yeah. Keep telling yourself that. And I'll keep butting into your business like I've got nothing better to do." Mickey rolled his eyes and went upstairs to the bathroom. It seemed like the universe kept on fucking with him. Even on Christmas. Emotional whiplash was a thing of torture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again. I love you guys and thank you so much.
> 
> Like thank you. I just...thank you. Thank you.
> 
> The amount of gratitude I feel is motherfucking huge.
> 
> And you guys created that by being incredible. I love you all so much. Thank you.
> 
> Also, if anyone wants to talk to me on tumblr: dominikadecember


	8. From The Moment I Could Talk I Was Ordered To Listen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohmigoshohmigoshohmigoshohmigoshohmigoshohmigosh OH MY GOSH!!! I love you all so damn much. Like literally, do you guys wanna bang because 10/10 i would bang and cuddle and just fucking love you till you got sick of me because you are all superior beings extremely important to me and to this story.
> 
> I love you all. I love you all so much. I love you all with everything I got.
> 
> Now, here is a very Yev & Mick oriented chapter.
> 
> This was so much fun to write. And I can't imagine their relationship any other way. I love you all so much and I hope you'll enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.

A couple days later found Yev and Mickey packing up again to leave for LA two hours before their flight. Yev wanted to stay a bit longer but Mickey explained he needed to get back to work which Yev understood perfectly. When Mickey asked him if he wanted to stay by himself and come back later, Yev protested very aggressively saying that Mickey would probably get in trouble if left by himself.

Which was very true.

Yev hugged his aunt and uncle tightly promising he'd contact them every single day to check up on Izzy. Mandy put her hand on Mickey's shoulder all of the sudden.

"Come back." She stated but it had an underlying hint of a question underneath. Mickey strained his face muscles into a fake smile. He didn't particularly want to come back. On Christmas Day, he felt Ian stare at him but refused to give in and focused on everyone else. The worst part was that Ian actually got him a gift. In between a new scarf from Yev and a small blade with Mickey's initials engraved from Mandy, there was a set of brass knuckles similar to the ones he owned as a kid but Terry pawned them. Mickey didn't look at anyone till they left. He knew they were from Ian. He was the only one who knew Mickey owned them. Well, except for fucking Terry. After that, he stayed locked in Mandy's house. The Gallagher didn't dare to come near. And Mickey definitely didn't wish that he did.

(Mickey totally pined for Ian but that's besides the point.) 

The blade and the knuckles stayed behind at Mandy's. Mickey kissed his niece on her forehead, at which she smiled, and nodded at Lip who was still kind of glaring at him. Clearly he was on his brother's side. Mickey didn't begrudge him that. He did kind of hate Mandy for not being on his though.

They parted ways and six hours later Mickey was opening the door to their small apartment in downtown LA. Yev darkened as Mickey turned the lights on.

"S'matter?" He asked his son.

"Nothing. I just remembered I got some maths to do." The boy murmured and moved to his room.

"Yev." Mickey put his luggage down.

"It's stupid, dad. Don't worry about it." Mickey kept on staring at his son waiting in patience. Yev would break sooner or later. It turned out to be a few seconds that he was in the unknown. "Back in Chicago, I had something to do. And here I got nothing." Yev sighed and took off his coat before flopping on the bean bag chair he convinced Mickey to buy instead of a couch. "Like someone always occupied my space and here I do effing homework for fun. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I like homework. I just wish I had something else." Mickey chewed on his lip. Yev really was unhappy in this city. Before going back to Chicago, he hid it quite well but this was the first time Mickey saw how lonely his son was. Perhaps these few trips were what cracked his facade. "I dunno." Yev shrugged picking at his jeans with his small hand. "I guess I just miss everyone." Mickey wanted to say something. He wanted to say that it would be okay and that Yev would find friends in time but nothing came out. He didn't even know if he believed that anyways. Yev really was all alone here. So he did the only thing he could think of.

He bent down to be at his son's level and open his arms. Yev immediately wrapped his small ones around Mickey's neck and hid his head in his shoulder. Mickey felt a damp patch as Yev started sobbing softly.

"I'm sorry, dad."

"It's okay." Mickey rubbed his back in a soothing gesture. "There's nothing to be sorry about." Yev's arms tightened around him. "You know...I miss your aunt too. And Izzy. And Lip for some reason. But I never really talk about it. My father didn't really like that. And I grew up with that." Yev hiccuped. "I don't want you to ever think that you can't talk about something. I'm not good with words but I'll try my best. I promise."

"Can we visit Chicago more often?" Yev asked in a small, muffled voice. Mickey paused for a moment.

"We'll try." Yev nodded into his shoulder and they stayed like that for a little while until Mickey heard his son's breath become more soft and stable. Mickey grinned as he realised Yev fell asleep. He picked him up and carried into his room. He only took off his shoes and put him under the covers. As he watched Yev sleep with wet cheeks visible, he thought about their relationship.

About the exact moment he started to care for the kid.

Svetlana shoved him into his arms after Mickey's coming out and said to take care of the baby. Mickey never knew what happened to her girlfriend. He just knew Svetlana was killed and that was the end.

Mickey went into his room after making sure Yev was okay. He closed his door and flopped on the bed. His phone buzzing in his pocket. He pulled it out and groaned.

"The fuck?"

"I promise. This is gonna be the last time." Charlie responded on the other side. "I just wanted you to know that uh..." Charlie laughed. "I met someone. And I'm done with you. You never appreciated me, Michael." Mickey closed his eyes annoyed. Charlie never called him Mickey. Only Michael. Mickey didn't care enough to ever correct him. Or to tell him his real name.

"Congrats. Have a good life." Mickey said not caring and turned his phone off. He did a lot. Whenever he wanted some peace. Just turned his phone off. People usually got the message that he didn't want to talk. His boss always texted him instead of calling which Mickey greatly appreciated. He quickly turned it back on, though. He decided that he needed to move back to Chicago. Not for himself. But for Yev.

Yev would go to school and be around people he loved and Mickey...Well, fuck Mickey. His kid was more important. And it wasn't like Mickey had anything keeping him here either. He didn't really have friends but Mickey never had friends so he grew used to it and didn't give a fuck unlike Yev. He could easily ignore his loneliness. The ten year old didn't have the emotional damage to do that. His apartment didn't even have a lease and his landlord threatened to evict him every single month if Mickey didn't pay. But Mickey always paid. He was responsible like that now. So he could move out easily.

And his job. He was a qualified glazier now. It felt good to say that he was qualified in something. That he did something by himself. He didn't even tell anyone about it. Not even Yev.

Mickey frowned at his phone. He'd have to fill out a bunch of papers but other than that it seemed like it was pretty easy to transfer Yev's schools. But there weren't any glazing companies hiring. There were tons of mechanics and clubs looking for bouncers plus there was an opening at the fire station but nothing he wanted to do as much as glazing.

It was the perfect balance of his math skills and his physical strength. He sighed and turned his phone off thinking about what life would be like back in Chicago. Maybe he could get his GED. Mandy did it. Mickey could do it too. Or he could try to get qualified in something else. It was weird. Wanting more out of life and not being afraid to go after it. 

He went back to work two days later with Yev coming along. The guys at work grumbled about a kid on the site, saying it was dangerous but Yev sat quietly in a corner and did extra homework he found online. Mickey really didn't want to leave him alone at home, worried his son would be more upset. After work they went to a diner not far from their shitty apartment. Mickey ordering the greasiest burger on the menu with beer and Yev ordering his weight in curly fries. 

"Slow down there, kiddo." Yev just grinned at him with mouth full chewed potato food. "So, school's back tomorrow. You excited?" Yev shrugged and looked down at his plate before pouring the entire ketchup bottle on his fries.

"Whatever. It's just a couple more months. Maybe I can look around for some activity clubs or something." He muttered and looked around the diner, freezing for a moment before slowly turning his eyes onto his father. "Dad. There's a guy staring at you. I think he likes you." Mickey rolled his eyes and gestured to the waiter for another beer. "Aren't you going to look at him?"

"Not interested." 

"But he looks interested in you."

"Yev, just because someone is interested in you, it doesn't automatically mean you have to be interested back." The boy cocked his head to the side and looked at him confused.

"It doesn't?" Mickey shook his head as he downed his second beer. "But...Ian likes you and you like him back." Mickey sat up straight and cleared his throat, choosing his words carefully.

"That's not really like that." He scratched his forehead as the blue eyes in front of him were waiting for a further explanation. "Me and Gallagher. We had a past. Thing. That happened. And there's still....eh....attraction. That. Yes. That's still there. But there is many different types of liking someone."

"Huh." Yev said simply. "That's really complicated."

"Tell me about it." Mickey breathed out a sigh of relief as Yev didn't prod the subject matter anymore. He didn't have a problem with being honest with Yev but some things he would rather to avoid.

Like politics because that shit was too complicated for his own head.

Or English, because Mickey sucked at English. Got Lip to write his papers back in high school. 

Or the sex talk. Because the thought of Yev ever having sex was too scary beyond belief.

Or Gallagher. Because he didn't want Yev to know how he came to be. 

He didn't want Yev to know that he didn't want him once upon a time. He didn't want Yev to know that there were people like Terry Milkovich in the world. Or fucking Kenyatta. Or even the fact that Mandy hit Karen Jackson with the car. Or that Iggy and Tony were not getting out any time soon because they killed someone. True, it was that child molestor priest but still. Murder is fucking murder.

He wanted only good things for Yev. And Chicago had all the memories of the horrible things. It had too much of everything. Everything Mickey wanted to forget. And it seemed that Yev was experiencing this horrible shit in Los Angeles. Mickey wanted to protect his son and instead ended up hurting him even more. 

He told his boss he was giving his two weeks notice.

Jeremy Skylar got a smirk on his face that said he was expecting that. 

"Well, it'll be a shame to lose a punk ass kid like you." Jeremy had the biggest fucking moustache ever seen and for a man in his sixties, he was fucking hot. Mickey had no shame in admitting he was willing to fuck him if Jeremy ever asked. "But I guess it's for the best. I'm selling the business to the Gimps."

"Those fuckers? Jer, you seriously gonna quit just like that?"

"I'll be the manager. It'll be easier to just have someone else be so responsible all the time. Plus the Gimps are a good company. Good health insurance. I looked into that shit." Mickey grinned. 

"You and health insurance. It's like an obsession."

"Hey, you are still a punk ass kid who doesn't remember what health insurance was back in the old days. That shit is important."

"I know, I know." Mickey shrugged remembering when Yev had his first cold and Mickey was running scared as fuck around all of New York trying to find a free clinic because they had no insurance. "So that chapel is gonna be my last gig. And uh..." Mickey rubbed the back of his neck feeling awkward. Jeremy's smirk returned as he knew what Mickey wanted to ask for but wouldn't help him out at all. "I was wondering if you'd....write me a reference or some shit like that." He'd mumbled out coherently. Jeremy slapped him on his right shoulder and Mickey winced. The man had a powerful grip.

"You are one of the best guys I have on this crew. I'll get it to you with your last payment." Mickey smiled and started to walk back to his work. But he turned around and held out his hand.

"Thanks, Jeremy." Mickey meant it. He never said sorry or thank you unless he did. "This gig was worth working my ass off. Thanks for taking a chance on me." Jeremy clasped his hand into Mickey's and shook it hard.

"Kid. You were worth it. Brought me in a lot of good business." Mickey went home that night feeling like a fucking helium balloon that could just fly away, free. He's never had anyone tell him he was worth anything. 

Well, that wasn't exactly true. 

Terry did tell him, he was worth as much as dog's shit on Frank Gallagher's head. 

This was a lot nicer. He rang his sister and asked her to pick up an application from the local school for Yev. Mandy was so excited she even offered to fill everything out. Mickey grinned but told her to slow her shit down.

He didn't have a place to live for him and Yev. Didn't have a job in Chicago. And he didn't even ask Yev if he would be okay with moving. Mandy snapped at him saying Yev would be happy as a fucking unicorn shitting rainbows, they could stay at the house until he found a place or forever. Whichever works best. And a job would always be found. He could scrub toilets if he wanted to. Mickey cut her off as she started telling him about how she'd redecorate the guest room so that there'd be a partition for both of their privacy.

Yev was at home already at the dinner table doing homework when Mickey came to.

"Hey." 

"What up, father." Yev said not looking up. Mickey went into the kitchen and noticed that there was a big bucket of fried chicken.

"You had dinner, yet?" Yev nodded as Mickey sat next to him and turned on the small TV at the end of the table. Yev narrowed his eyes but didn't say anything. Mickey glanced at the work his son was doing. "Need any help?" Yev nodded again and passed him his work book with a pencil. Mickey's eyes widened as he looked at his son's calculations. "Yev, this is some pretty advanced shit." 

"Yeah." Yev scratched his nose and grabbed a chicken breast off Mickey's plate. "Mrs Roscoe says I should consider going for like this challenge thing. It's for child geniuses." Mickey looked at the work and checked it out. For a ten year old, Yev's math skills were good. Very good. Almost as good as Mickey's.

"This one is wrong. You forgot to divide." He circled the equation. "But other than that everything is right. Maybe Mrs Old As Fuck is onto something." Yev grimaced, the chicken already gone. At least Mickey could say that Yev got his stomach from him. "What?"

"I don't want to. Kids at school already make fun of me and to add a child prodigy into that is like a recipe for disaster."

"Why do they make fun of you?"

"Stupid stuff that they think is funny." Yev muttered.

"Like what?"

"Dad, I don't wanna talk about it." Mickey chewed on his lip as Yev stared at the small television screen.

"Okay. I've got a question for you then." Yev turned those baby blues on his father. "Would you be okay with us moving to Chicago?" There was five seconds of silence when neither of them said anything. Mickey felt like those five seconds were the longest in his life. If Yev said no, he'd have to beg Jeremy to get his job back which wouldn't be too awful. But if Yev said yes, he'd have actual shit that would really fuck with his own psychological state of mind. Which would be worth to see Yev happy.

Yev slowly grinned. 

"Dad, are you serious?"

"Nope." Mickey said popping the _'p'_ , teasing his son. "You'd have to put up with living at aunt Mandy's for a little while. And if we do this, no fucking around. School comes first. And no criminal activities. And no smoking. And no swearing."

"You're such a hypocrite."

"See, normal ten year olds don't even fucking know that word. You remain a good kid in the shit hole that is South Side. Got it?" Yev's grin brightened even more and he jumped at his father, hugging him tightly.

"Best dad ever." Mickey hugged his son back.

"Damn straight." He let himself not worry about moving back to the place that held so many painful memories for a moment. This moment right there was worth every fucking difficult decision he ever did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special shout out to everyone who comments. I love you. I love you all so much. I love you. 
> 
> I have a plate of imaginary cookies for you. *shoves a gigantic plate of cookies onto a table* I love you all.


	9. Looking Down On These Bright Blue City Lights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I know that I'm updating a bit too soon but I'm currently writing an essay for college and am getting super stressed about it and Gallavich just makes me feel better. 
> 
> Ubeta'd. 
> 
> Enjoy.
> 
> Lots of family love. Because I want the family love.

Their last night in LA was Yev's birthday and they spent it celebrating in the most traditional way they could think of. Drinking on the roof. Mickey got his son a bunch of red velvet cupcakes, stuck candles in them and lit them up. He even allowed Yev to have his first beer which Yev frowned at and passed it to his father saying beer was horrible. Mickey laughed and ruffled his hair.

"Keep on thinking that and you'll end up with a good life."

"But you drink beer."

"You don't really wanna use me as a role model, kid." A silent moment passed between them as they stared at the LA night with the winter air passing them by. Yev's school was all taken care of. They'd stay at Mandy's for a while. Their stuff was already over in the South Side. All they had to do was actually board the plane in a couple of hours.

"Dad? D'you think life will be better in Chicago?"

"What d'you mean?"

"Like....do you think we'll be happier?" Mickey looked at his son who was devouring a cupcake with a hopeful expression on his face.

"Better be. This is Mandy's like fucking happily ever after. I'm pretty sure she's going to kill me and adopt you if I say we're moving again."

"She didn't like it?" Mickey grimaced at the memory of Mandy screaming at him.

"Let's just say she didn't take it very well."

"You barely talk about that."

"About what?"

"The past." Yev said quietly reaching for another cupcake. "Was it that horrible?" Mickey's mind flashed to the memories of him and Mandy sitting around and being ridiculously high on good weed Iggy stole, Mickey and Ian fucking at the Kash and Grab, Svetlana hitting him over the head as he messed up Yev's formula, his cousins being stupid drunk and he had to get them out of the club, New York summer. Mickey pulled out his cigarettes and shrugged lighting one up.

"Weren't all bad." Yev watched him as Mickey blew out the smoke in a different direction away from him. "I don't really know what to say, Yev. Everyone is a fucked up product of their parents. My mother died when I was younger than you. Heroin overdose. My father liked to pistol whip anyone he could and was a pathological homophobe. He didn't take the news that I was gay very well. I let your aunt get away with a lot of shit because the two of us come from the same place. Her horrors were a little bit different than mine but we were in that together. I always try to keep that stuff away from you. You're only ten."

"Eleven." Yev piped up. Mickey grinned at his son.

"That's right. You are. Holy shit. Can't believe I've lived long enough to see you turn eleven."

"Wait till I turn twenty. Then you'll be shocked." Mickey nodded, still grinning. "What was Ian to you?" Yev asked unsurely as if he didn't even want to know the answer to that.

"Ian was...." Mickey took a deep breath trying to figure out the answer. "He was mine and I guess I was his. We were together when we were teenagers. But then we weren't." Yev's brow furred in confusion. "It's difficult for me to explain."

"Because you don't know how to or because I'm too young to understand?" Mickey stared dumbfounded at his son who rolled his eyes like the Milkovich he was. "I've lived with you for the past eleven years, dad. I know how to read you better than my favourite book."

"Why the fuck do you say shit like that? No one says shit like. Ever."

"I'm an old soul. I thought it was obvious."

"Old soul? You don't have enough emotional crippling to be an old soul."

"Past lives, dear father. Past lives."

They didn't go to sleep. Instead they opted for heading straight to the airport to wait for their flight. They passed the time with a deck of card Yev magically produced from his carry on. The flight was pretty quick because both of the Milkoviches passed out the moment they sat down next to the window so they wouldn't crowd in the third person. Lip was waiting by himself for the two. Yev grinned at his uncle and hugged him.

"Can you believe it? I'm gonna live in Chicago."

"Yeah. It ain't that great, Yev." Lip patted his head. "Still can't believe your dad agreed to do this." Mickey rolled his eyes.

"I'm not coming back as the kid version of me. This is a new fucking thing, okay? I'm different now." Mickey didn't know why he felt he needed a different excuse than just Yev for being brought back to the South Side. Lip stared at him for a moment, his poker face in tact.

"This is a huge decision." Yev spoke. "And if it doesn't work out, it doesn't. But I really hope it will." Lip smiled at the boy and they started to walk to the parking lot. Lip explain that Mandy was at the doctor's with Izzy because the baby got her first old cold and they both worried. He also mentioned that Liam invited Yev over to hang out later on. A prospect which the Milkovich boy was giddy at. In the car Lip passed Yev a small package. It was a comic about some superhero no one's ever heard of.

"Happy birthday, little dude. That's from all if us. And Mandy also got you race track sheets." Yev smiled but Mickey could tell it was forced. His son didn't like race tracks.

"I hate those things. Why does Mandy have to do that shit?" He asked annoyed hoping that Yev would not think about it. Lip shrugged and pulled out of the parking lot.

"Hey, I got to ask. Are you planning on boning my brother?" Mickey froze.

"Don't ask me shit like that in front of Yev."

"Yeah. Don't ask dad stuff like that in front of me. It's really awkward and uncomfortable." Yev agreed from the back.

"Yeah but I gotta know." Lip tried to excuse his behaviour.

"Yeah but I don't. Knock it off uncle Lip." Yev simply replied sounding bored. A tone of authority in his voice. Mickey smirked to himself as Lip sneered into the wheel, just being out sassied by an eleven year old. The rest of the drive went by in silence and when they ended up back at the house, the first thing Yev did was walk straight to the room claiming he was in danger of dying from lack of sleep. Mickey took off his coat and went into the kitchen, bypassing the six boxes that contained everything he and Yev owned. He noticed a new picture on the wall. The one Mandy took of him and Yev at Christmas, hugging. Lip collapsed onto the couch looking tired as hell. Mickey grabbed two juice boxes and threw one at him before sitting down on the couch himself.

"You alright?" Lip shook his head.

"She's sick. I can feel it. There's something wrong with my daughter." Mickey picked at the straw on his juice box not knowing what to say. "This is so shit. I promised that I would be a good dad. I promised. And something is definitely wrong. I've just got that feeling you know. That feeling in my chest that says she's not here to stay anymore. D'you know that feeling?" Mickey scratched his head.

"When Yev was two, he got ill. Coughing blood up ill. So I can relate. Because I was scared as shit. But I never felt like he was going to leave, you know. I always had that feeling that that kid would stick around long after I died." Lip stayed quiet and stared at his hands. "Listen, I know you and Mandy have been worried about this stuff but it's been nearly four months since Izzy was born. I think the worst is behind you guys. Now it's just normal parenting shit." Lip grinned and opened up his juice box finally.

"Fucking Mickey Milkovich trying to talk to me about parenting. What fucking sins have I done?"

"Cheating on Mandy with Karen for one."

"Ouch, fucker." Mickey shrugged with a smirk on his face feeling tired. "So you and Ian. That's gonna happen or not? I've gotta know whether to help Mandy get you two back or not."

"Not." Mickey said definitely. "Mandy needs to mind her own fucking business."

"Cut her some slack, man."

"Why? She doesn't cut me any. Gallagher and I are done. I'm back in this shit hole to make my kid happy. The moment Yev goes to college, I'm moving to fucking Canada."

"Toronto?" Lip asked quirking a brow. "Maybe catch pride week?"

"Fuck you, Gallagher."

"Wrong brother, Milkovich." He chuckled. "I asked around and there ain't no one that's hiring at the moment but the post office. They need someone to do inventory. Just go in on Tuesday with a resume and talk to Janet. She's the one with a huge mole on her lip."

"Damn. Was really hoping Georgie was hiring."

"Same but you know Georgie. He barely pays the guys that work for him. You he'd probably want for free."

"Thanks, Lip."

"No problem. It's the least I can do." Lip slurpped his juice until it was all finished. "Why do you let Mandy get away with so much shit anyways?" He asked, annoyance evident in his voice. Mickey shrugged.

"Why do you?"

"I love her."

"Can't I use that same excuse?"

"You're a Milkovich. Love means jack shit to you guys." Mickey took a deep breath and looked down at his empty juice box, too tired to deny the claim. 

"I get it, sort of. I think. To be so desperate to hold everything together when it keepts falling apart. Even with force. Mandy is a lot like mom in that way. Just forcing everything so it'll turn out okay. I'm not saying I like it. I'm saying I get it."

"Why?"

"Because. Because Mandy never had anything good in her life. And Terry...." Mickey glanced down at his hands. "He always ripped away that what was important. Always." He flashed back to when Terry found him and Ian in the living room. "Mandy got her life together. This right here, this is as good as it's gonna get for her. And in her own messed up way she wants me to have it too. Like I said. Don't mean I like it." They sat in silence for a minute and Mickey actually felt himself drift off. "Don't worry, man." Mickey heard himself say before leaning back into the couch and closing his eyes. "Izzy's gonna be fine. With genes like ours, she's got a few fuck ups to live through." He heard Lip murmur something in response before the darkness over took him. He would be more helpful after a nice nap.

On Tuesday, Mickey was tapping his hand nervously on his knee. The tattoos should have been covered up.

He should have just let Mandy cover them the fuck up.

But his tattoos were a part of him. They reminded him of where he came from.

The tattoos stayed.

"So...how do you pronounce that?" Janet asked frowning at Mickey's resume. He raised an eyebrow.

"Just call me Mickey." She nodded and went back to reading the piece of paper in front of her.

"You certainly seem to have some experience that can relate."

"Yeah." She eyed him wearily for a moment before scrunching up her face so that her mole suddenly looked bigger. Mickey couldn't stop staring at it. Right above her lip. Sort of made her look like she had a Hitler moustache.

"Okay, Mickey. We need someone here from Tuesday to Friday to do the inventory. It's a boring ass job. From 8 till 4. Sometimes you'd have to do over time. Especially around the holidays. And there are only two people to help. There also is a lot of physical activity. You interested?" Mickey felt his mouth turn up into a grin.

"When can I start?" She pulled out an application.

"Bring this back, filled out of course, with you tomorrow at 12 with all your documentation. We could do your training next Thursday and Friday and you could start in two weeks. Sounds good?" Mickey felt really, really lucky in that moment. "Just don't fuck up, Milkovich."

"I won't."

"Good." She stood up. "I actually believe that and I'm taking a chance on you because Lip Gallagher vouched for you. Don't let me down." Mickey stood up as well.

"Trust me. This is a really good opportunity for me. I don't wanna fuck it up." Janet smiled at him and held her hand out.

"See you tomorrow then." He shook her hand surprising himself and left the small office. Yev was adjusting to his new school well. In fact so well that he already started making friends. It was making Liam a bit jealous but he was three years older than the eleven year old. There was bound to be a small rift.

Yev's new friends were pretentious little fuckers. Mickey couldn't deny it. They were all talking in some fucked up poetic way that was just too adult for eleven year olds. Even Liam scrunched up his nose at them. It weren't right. But his son seemed happy. That's what mattered. And Mickey actually felt like things were looking up in this shit hole of a city. He was looking at some places for him and Yev and surprisingly, they were pretty good prices.

He got home to see his sister fuss over his niece and called out a hello. She flipped him off but asked how his talk with Janet went.

"Who da man?" Mandy straightened up and choked out a laugh.

"Did you seriously just fucking do that?" She asked eyes wide, laughter still on her face. Mickey grinned at his sister.

"Fuck you, whore. I gots a job."

"No, are you actually hearing what you're saying?"

"Yup."

"Now I know where Yev gets it from." Mickey flipped her off and walked over to see Izzy.

"How's she doing?" Mandy flopped onto the couch and sighed.

"Better. The doctor is still not sure what's happening to her but the medicine makes her a bit loopy and she easily falls asleep. Doesn't seem to be in too much pain. I'm worried I might have hooked her on baby morphine." The baby looked at Mickey with her mouth open into a wide smile and drool going everywhere. She was lying on her back in her play pen. Her eyes glossy and bright. "I hate the free clinic. They always go _'There's a hospital just around the corner.' _like I don't have a fucking clue."__

__"I could chip in." Mickey said staring down at Izzy. "You know. If you do go to the hospital. For the bills. I could give you the money." Mandy stayed quiet for a long while. Mickey didn't dare to turn to look at her._ _

__"I'm glad you're here, Mick." She whispered._ _

__"Me too, Mands." He whispered back and flopped down next to her before raising his voice to a normal volume. "I'm gonna have Mondays and the weekends off."_ _

__"Nice."_ _

__"Yeah. Don't have a fucking clue as to what I should do with myself. So fucking bored."_ _

__"TV?"_ _

__"Full of gay shit."_ _

__"Like your ass."_ _

__"You're such a fucking retard."_ _

__"There's always the gym. That new one. You could bulk up your strength. Your son is already ruining the Milkovich name with his peace shit." Mickey grinned as he flashed back to last night when Yev read an essay on the importance of pacifism._ _

__"I know, right? Where the fuck he gets that from?"_ _

__"Pretty sure Liam." Mickey raised his eyebrows in surprise at his sister who shrugged. "They've been friends since Yev was born. He skypes him more than me. And Liam is a good kid. He scams people like Lip but he actually feels guilty about it, you know. Maybe they both corrupted each other with saint like behaviour."_ _

__"Well, whatever. As long as Yev isn't arrested or expelled, I'm good." Mandy watched him with a smug expression._ _

__"He's happy here." Mickey rolled his eyes. "I think this move was very good for him. And you seem to be less of a little bitch."_ _

__"Yeah, no shit." She smirked and turned on the TV before Mickey remembered something. "Ey, the fuck you mean I could use bulking up? You calling me fat or something?" Mandy snorted as she surfed through the channels._ _

__"When was the last time you hit someone?" Mickey thought back to a few weeks ago when he fought Ian's ex. "And how long did it take you to take him down?" Mickey didn't tell her that he actually was the one who passed out first. "If dad came through those doors right now, you wouldn't stand a chance."_ _

__"Like you would." Mandy shrugged._ _

__"Terry liked to fuck me than fuck with me." Mickey glanced at her. Her words seemed careless but he could see her eyes scrunched up in anger. He put his arm around her shoulder. She stuffed her head into the crook of his neck._ _

__"The fucker is dead. He can't get to either of us now." She nodded but didn't respond. They sat there in silence for a while. Just two Milkoviches who were turning their lives around whilst their whole family was either dead or in prison. Mickey heard that even uncle Ronnie broke his probation or some shit like that. He hoped Yev would never meet any other Milkoviches besides his sister. Mandy raised her head up a little to look at Izzy who was snoring soundly before returning to her brother's shoulder._ _

__Mickey didn't say anything. He just sat there with his sister. He didn't know how to say how sorry he was for being such a fucked up brother. He didn't know how to say that he wanted to protect his baby sister from everything bad in the world. He didn't know how to say he regretted not being around when she needed him. Or how he regretted not doing something when he could have._ _

__He could have slept in Mandy's room every night to make sure Terry wouldn't come in._ _

__Or he could have had that fucking Kenyatta shot by someone who owed him._ _

__Or made sure Mandy would go to school._ _

__Or he could have been at her wedding._ _

__Or he could have been there to help her redecorate the house._ _

__He could have done so much for her but he never did._ _

__He just ran. Like a coward that he was._ _

__But was he a coward if he ran because he was in pain?_ _

__It didn't matter. His sister mattered. When she worried over Izzy, he remembered Mandy at five years old. Chewing on her lip, standing in the snow with only Iggy's shirt on her back hanging off her like a rag._ _

__Mickey could never remember exactly why she wouldn't come into the house. He only remembered that she was worried about something. Perhaps it was about their mother. Or Terry. Or hell, even one of their siblings going on a run. He remembered standing in the door in Iggy's sweats screaming that if she didn't come in, he'd push her down a tunnel so she'd never come back. Both of them knowing he didn't mean it._ _

__Mandy just told him to wait a little but Mickey was scared she would get ill so he jumped down the stairs barefoot with a bare chest and stood in front of her in the snow. If Mandy got ill, he'd get ill with her. Little Mandy started beating his chest and rushed them both into the house that wasn't much warmer inside._ _

__Mickey stared at his twenty seven year old sister. She looked as fragile as she did when she was five but he knew that she would start beating him up with her thin and bony arms if she wanted to._ _

__The blonde still remaining strong in her hair. Just like Mandy Milkovich._ _

__(She refused to take the Gallagher name claiming there was enough of them running around and not enough Milkoviches in her vows.)_ _

__(Lip told her he didn't give a fuck as long as they were happy in his vows.)_ _

__(They pretty much fucking were.)_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, I love you all and read all your comments but I'm under a lot of pressure at the moment and will get back to them as soon as I'm able. 
> 
> I love you all so much.


	10. The Sun Is Filling Up The Room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna try to update every day this week because on Friday it's my birthday and I wrote my favourite chapter and I wanna post it on that day. I love you all. 
> 
> MaryEllen590, special shout out to you for making me do work. You're the best.
> 
> I love you all. This chapter is a bit short but things are looking up and this fic is going to be a little bit less angsty from now on. 
> 
> FOR A WHILE *DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUN*
> 
> Also, SymphonyOfThieves. GET BETTER. LIKE SERIOUSLY. FIGHT YOUR ILLNESS WITH EVERY OUNCE OF POWER INSIDE YOU.

Mickey found an apartment. He found a fucking apartment.

It was bare. Two bedroom. Shitty. Near the L. Three blocks from Mandy. Five from the Gallaghers.

And it was perfect. Mickey quickly bought two mattresses and forced Lip to help him whilst Mandy and Yev painted the bedrooms. Izzy stayed in the living room due to paint fumes. She also judged Mickey and Lip's struggle with the mattresses clearly in favour of the two men being defeated.

Mickey made a mental note to sign up to the fucking gym as soon as possible.

Their stuff was easy to move. Mandy gave them a cupboard that went into Yev's room next to his mattress. Mickey bought a coffee table from some second hand store and stole two picnic chairs from Mandy. She wasn't thrilled but he didn't give them back. It was just right.

On their last night at Mandy's, Yev bounced into the house, Liam behind embarrassed, chanting 'dad'.

"What?" Mickey asked annoyed.

"What's a rim job?" Lip choked on his drink, Mandy made a high pitched noise and Izzy gurgled.

"What?" Mickey asked this time very not annoyed. More terrified.

"Dad come on. My social status depends on this."

"How how how how how how....?" Mickey couldn't form a thought. Liam sighed and sat on the couched irritated.

"Those douchebags from school started talking about sex. As if they know anything." Liam muttered. "Punk ass kids."

"Jesus fucking Christ. I don't want to have this conversion."

"Dad." Yev whined. "If you don't tell me I'm gonna go on the internet. Do you really want me to find out things about sex from strangers instead of the man I can trust with my life?" Mickey sat down and ran a hand over his face.

"Maybe that's not a bad idea."

"Oh my god, can you just tell me what a rim job is?" Yev asked frustrated.

"It's--fuck--it's a thing. When two guys---Jesus Christ---it's when someone shoves their face into someone else's ass." Mickey ratted out quickly closing his eyes. "During sex." Yev scrunched up his face.

"Oh. Isn't that nasty?" Mandy snorted.

"Your dad enjoys it." She muttered.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!" Mickey yelled, eyes wide. "We are not going to discuss my sex life."

"Like don't you poo out of there?" Yev continued. "I mean, how is that enjoyable?"

"Why are you friends with those morons?" Liam asked from the couch. "See how stupid they are making you. And I'm sure Mickey wipes his ass before someone sticks their face in it." Mickey stood up suddenly.

"I'm going to the Alibi. Fuck all of you." He grabbed his coat and went outside feeling thoroughly embarrassed by everyone that ever existed in the fucking universe. But the Alibi didn't make him feel any better because Ian was there playing pool with someone. Someone with nice muscles and a nice smile. Ian was looking a bit thin but he looked happy. He looked _fucking_ happy. And that really didn't make Mickey feel better. So he flipped Kevin off who just nodded at him and went to his new apartment. It was empty. It was quiet.

And it didn't have any memories of anything.

No memories of Mandy. No memories of Ian. No memories of Terry or Svetlana. No memories of anything.

Just a good blank slate.

And his son was actually happy.

Which made Mickey feel a bit less of an ass and like a good parent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I love you all. Honestly, you're my favourite beings. In my life there's just so much shit at the moment and you make it a bit less crappy. I love you so so much.


	11. It Was A Savvy Answer, The Repartee And Argument

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not personally suffer from bipolar disorder however I do have personal experience with it. 
> 
> This chapter was really good for me to write because I hope that you guys start to understand that Mickey seriously doesn't hate Ian. He is hurt. Betrayed. But he doesn't hate him.
> 
> This chapter has a special place in my heart. It deals with something that is important to me.

Mickey's gig was actually pretty much what Janet said it was. Boring as fuck. He processed items, filled out a bunch of stupid paperwork that was actually fucking essential, put the items in the right order and the right place. Then later rinse repeat.

His training was easy. On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays he worked with Joey. Joey was a fucking nerd. And he wanted Mickey's dick. That much was obvious from his stuttering and very brief looks in the direction Mickey was standing but not quite at the Milkovich man.

Mickey liked that. It's been too long since someone went red just by being in his presence.

On Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays there was Clint. Clint was a fucking cunt. A homophobic middle aged man whose fucking voice was very fucking nasal. He barely moved and when he did, he waddled like a penguin. But it looked way better on a penguin. He didn't like Mickey's tats. That much was clear from his muttering about some people not going through a thorough background check. Mickey flipped him off behind his back.

But it was going well and soon Saturday came which was very good because Mickey had Saturdays off. However the first Saturday after a week of work was not to be spent in bed and sleeping like a log. Tragically, Mickey was forced to go shopping for an art project Yev has decided to create. He grumbled about his son being an evil little fucker in cahoots with satan all the way to the art supply store. Yev mostly just giggled at his father's displeasure. Mickey glared at him when he noticed that Yev was waving at someone. His heart stopped in his chest when he realised it was a certain redhead and a certain black kid that was his son's best friend.

Yev grinned up at him.

"Liam wanted to do my art project with me. So I said he could come along with us."

"You couldn't have warned me first?" Mickey growled.

"I didn't know if he'd actually show. And I didn't have a clue that Ian would come. It isn't my fault. Please don't be mean." Mickey sighed and trudged behind his son that started chatting away happily with Liam who chatted back just as animatedly. Mickey looked over Ian. He grew thinner.

That was one.

He looked tired.

That was two.

He smiled shyly at the two Milkoviches without meeting their eyes.

That was three.

His skin was too pale.

That was four.

Mickey stopped noticing things and turned to the boys.

"Why don't you guys head in first? We'll come in a bit." Yev's face turned into a confused puppy but Liam was pulling him along with the promise of holding his basket for him. Mickey took a deep breath and turned to the redheaded Gallagher. "Why are you here?" Ian shrugged.

"Sale on pastels." Mickey felt his lip twitch but he hid his amusement well. "Just wanted to see you." Ian mumbled staring at the ground.

"You can't do that, Gallagher."

"I know. But I'm not very strong willed." Mickey didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to feel. The rational part of him, his brain, told him to turn around and never look back. Which was fucking idiotic because once he started staring at Ian it was impossible to stop. "I heard you're moving back. Permanently. Liam won't shut up about it. And your son seems happy whenever he comes over." Mickey remained quiet as Ian continued to face the ground. "I don't want you to hate me." Mickey heard everything around them go quiet. Only thing audible was Ian's voice. "And I like Yev. And I'm gonna try to be better. I want to be in this. Even as a friend. If you want to. That is. Have me. As anything." Ian shrugged again. All the emotions tense in his shoulders. Mickey knew that Ian was seconds away from breaking down right there. But he couldn't give in. There was too much pain. Too much hurt.

"You wanna be my friend? Shit, Gallagher. How can I trust you with that when you can't even trust your own head?" Ian looked up at him with agony in his eyes. The height difference be damned. Mickey just wanted to wrap his arms around him and say that everything was alright. But his self control has been impeccable since Christmas. "I've worked hard to get my life together. To make sure that Yev would be okay. And I can't have you back in my life or for the first time ever in his if you don't take your meds." Ian's eyes widened in surprised guilt and Mickey wanted to abort at that. He had Ian's behaviour memorised. Practically etched in his frontal lobe. "We can go to your place later but right now I don't trust you by yourself. And Yev wants to buy shit."

"Mickey....it's.... I have a reason." Mickey laughed bitterly.

"You always have a fucking reason, Ian. But that's not enough. This is a conversation for another day. Just get in the fucking store and don't collapse. Can't have you slicing your wrists like fucking Monica." Ian, still staring at Mickey, nodded.

"Okay." He whispered and walked slowly to the building, Mickey trailing behind him tuning his own emotions out. But it was impossible when Ian looked back at him scared. He huffed and pulled onto his arm roughly ignoring the slowly building smile on Ian's face. He also ignored that he didn't mind being in such close proximity to the other man. Or that he shouldn't be enjoying it as much.

Once in the store he let go of Ian and looked for his son that was explaining to Liam something. Liam had a small smile on his face.

"You guys good?" He came up to them. Liam nodded and Yev grinned brightly at his father.

"Dad. You know how I'm like the most essential part of your universe?"

"Sure, let's go with that."

"Well, what if my art project became something I can blow up?" Mickey stared down hard at his son until Yev stopped grinning. It took a while. Neither of them wanting to back down. "You know. You're a very negative man, Mr Milkovich." Yev said trying a different tactic.

"No shit, young Milkovich. You ain't blowing stuff up. Last time you tried we didn't have a window for a fucking month."

"But dad. This is for educational purposes."

"You know what else is for educational purposes? If I leave you here all by yourself and not pay for anything." Yev frowned and crossed his arms.

"Fine. I won't blow anything up." He muttered and dragged Liam along with him. Mickey heard the last sentence his son spoke. "Don't worry. He wouldn't leave me. I'm too perfect to be abandoned."

"You know, you're probably gonna be one of those people who are gonna give pictures of yourself to other people and say 'you're welcome'." He didn't hear the rest and hang back staring at the weird ass art supplies that existed. There were different too many different kind of oil paints. And too many brands. He thumbed his bottom lip staring at the prices.

The shit was pretty fucking expensive.

"Ey, Yev!" He called after the boy who peeked behind from the next aisle. He walked up to him quickly. "Just don't go crazy with this stuff. Pick only the supplies you need." Yev nodded and put back a box of mechanical pencils.

"You're right. These will break in a second." Liam passed him a box of HB pencils. "Thanks, dude." Yev smiled at him and Liam nodded to another aisle. "Ooh. Sketch books." Mickey rolled his eyes and grinned. Yev didn't have an ounce of artistic talent in him. He could write well but drawing was not his forte. The Milkovich man walked further down trying to figure out what some of that shit could have been used for firmly aware of Ian walking slowly behind him.

It was almost like old times. When Ian wouldn't be too good and Mickey dragged him somewhere just to get the other man out of the house. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn't.

But Ian wasn't Mickey's duty anymore.

Didn't mean Mickey wasn't willing to give up a couple of hours of his day to make sure the Gallagher man would be okay.

And that is what he did after he paid for two full bags of crap he was sure Yev would never use. They went straight in the direction of the Gallagher house with everyone following Mickey quietly. Liam surprised, Ian ashamed and Yev....Yev was busy planning his art project.

Mickey raised his eyebrows at Ian when they stood in front of the house for the other man to head in first. But Ian didn't move. He just stared at Mickey confused. The two boys went past them with exaggerated sighs and trotted up the stairs. When Mickey rolled his eyes and followed them, Ian moved as well. Mickey stopped and Ian stopped.

Mickey realised what was going on. Ian was too afraid to make decisions for himself so he just followed Mickey's lead like a puppy. Which wasn't something Mickey liked. They got in the house and Mickey ordered Ian to go get his pills and come back in the kitchen whilst the boys went into Liam's room.

The Gallagher promptly followed orders and stared at Mickey expectedly who passed him a glass of water. Ian just stared.

"Take 'em." Mickey said feeling annoyed.

"Why?" Ian asked genuinely confused.

"So your mood swings don't fuck you up." Mickey answered eloquently. His palms sweating.

"Why are you helping? You hate me. I'm not your responsibility anymore." Mickey hit the counter hard with his open palm.

"For fuck's sake, Gallagher." He hissed. "Take the fucking pills." Ian put the rattling bottles with his glass on the table and crossed his arms. "Please." Mickey felt his voice breaking. "Please just take them."

"Why?" Ian asked in a strong voice. Too strong for how he looked.

"Because whatever I say to you right now, will not matter." Mickey replied staring down and hoping he didn't look as pathetic as he felt. They stayed like that for a moment too long before Ian reached out for his pills and downed them like there was no tomorrow. Mickey felt relief wash over his body instantaneously like a warm shower. "Open your mouth." Ian smirked a little but did so with his tongue up to show he wasn't hiding any pills underneath. "Good." Ian stared at him. "I'm gonna go home. Make some dinner." Mickey started walking towards the living room feeling smug when Ian made a high pitched noise behind him.

"That's it?" Mickey turned around slowly batting his eyes innocently. Or at least he hoped it looked innocent. It worked whenever Yev did it. Hopefully he inherited that from his son. Ian stood in the kitchen, his arms wide open and Mickey just wanted to bury himself in them.

"What, Gallagher?"

"Mickey." Ian growled. Mickey couldn't help but smirk. He felt like he had the upper hand this time and it felt good to see Ian squirm like that. "You were starting to talk."

"Was I?"

"Come the fuck on, Mick!"

"Wow, peer pressure really working for you, tough guy?" It was easy. Taunting Ian with the past. Teasing him with the memories. Mickey took a deep breath and looked to the side. "I don't hate you. You think I do, I don't. Remember that. I don't hate you." He chewed on his lip as he thought of what to share. "And I think I do...No, I know I still love you but that's not enough. Because I do have Yev. And he comes first. No matter what." He turned his head to Ian who was leaning against the kitchen door frame with an unreadable expression on his face and his eyes healthier than before. "I know you're not my responsibility. You never were a responsibility. I would have fucking done anything for ya back then. I mean, looking at us, I'm the one who got shot fucking twice. I'm the one who went to juvie 'cause of us twice. Didn't kill Frank 'cause you asked me not to. Still not sure I did the right thing there. I came out to my fucking father. Sent my own fucking father back to prison. And tried my best not to lose you." Mickey sat down at the edge of the couch looking at the ceiling. "You were never...It's difficult to explain."

"I think you're doing pretty well." Ian's voice sounded hoarse. Mickey turned his gaze back to him. Ian's head was low but his eyes still on Mickey albeit watery. His arms crossed and he was leaning on that frame like it was holding him up for dear life. So that he wouldn't drown. Mickey knew that feeling.

"I think friends is a good start to build trust. But in minimal doses. Because yeah. This kind of shit can't happen. Where you just appear and I'm not ready to see you and you haven't been taking your medication."

"Okay." Ian whispered.

"I mean it. I can't have you showing up unannounced. Because I need like time to mentally prepare myself. And I don't want you around my kid when you're off your meds." Ian nodded, tears streaming down his face freely but Mickey didn't move towards him. Firmly stayed on the edge of the couch. No matter how much he wanted to go over there.

"Why did you help me today?" Ian asked quietly. Their eyes holding.

"Because I'm a fucking good person. Did anyone else notice you've been skipping?" Ian shook his head, still staring at Mickey. "Why? What's the fucking reason? And it better be fucking good." Finally Ian broke eye contact, looking at the ground and shuffling his feet. In Mickey's _'Ian's Behaving Odd'_ dictionary, it looked like shame.

"A guy I've been...training with." Ian spoke slowly as if he wasn't sure of how to phrase the right words. Mickey's heart froze as he thought about Ian fucking someone else. Dread building up in his stomach. "He says I perform better when I'm off them. And I wanted to see if I am. Turns out to be true when I'm in one of my better days. But when I'm like this, not so much."

"When you say perform...?" Mickey couldn't hold in his jealousy and Ian looked at him with big green eyes shaking his head, hands already towards Mickey trying to stop him from bolting.

"No, no, no. Nothing like that. We don't fuck. I haven't fucked since I saw you. I can't---No. I meant my exercise routine. He's my trainer. The one my doctor recommended." Mickey nodded feeling tension leave his body. "He got me my job actually. And I know it was stupid going off my medication but sometimes I need to do stupid shit to be myself." Mickey felt embarrassed he cared more about Ian fucking another guy than about Ian having a ridiculous reason to not take his pills.

"Huh." Mickey said not letting his emotions spill out. "Good talk." Ian smiled at him. With his eyes lighting up and his gorgeous mouth splitting his face and his faded freckles scrunching up on his nose and that fucking relaxed posture. When Ian smiled at him, he smiled at him with his whole body. Mickey hated that because it made his stomach flip in a hit of nervousness. And it also made him feel lighter than any other previous moment in his life. "The fuck you so happy for?" Mickey bit out without any hit which made Ian smile even more if it was possible. "We're gonna have a proper conversation one day. Like an actual one. With not just me talking. You talking back. And we''re gonna act like grown up people." Mickey stood off the couch and Ian immediately tensed up.

"You're leaving?" He asked in that confused voice Mickey liked so much.

"Got dinner to make. YEV! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!" He shouted not missing Ian's fluttering amusement at that.

"You could stay. Have dinner with us?" Ian asked hopefully. Mickey felt himself grin at the redhead as he heard Yev roll down the stairs.

"Minimal dosage, Gallagher." He looked down at his son who was lying at his feet taking shallow breaths.

"That was AWESOME!" He winced at the volume coming from Yev. "Dad, before we go, can I have Liam push me down the stairs again?" Liam stood on the stairs grinning excitedly.

"Sure, if you wanna have a broken neck and cover your own medical bills." Yev stood up.

"The allowance you give me would not support me. I demand a raise. I'm eleven now, you know."

"The fuck do I care?" Mickey asked and wrapped his son's scarf around his neck. "Where's your art shit?" Yev looked at Liam who passed them the two bags. "Come on. I gotta make dinner and sleep. You woke me up too fucking early."

"Wasn't my fault you didn't wake up with the alarm."

"Was too, kid, and you know it." He took a last look at Ian who was smiling at the two of them and leaning against the couch. He turned to the younger Gallagher. "You wanna sleep over, Liam?" The black boy nodded happily.

"Sure thing, lemme get my stuff." He ran upstairs and Yev grinned up at his father.

"That was super nice of you, dad."

"Fuck off. I'm nice." Yev patted his hand.

"I know."

"Fuck off." Yev grinned up at him and mickey couldn't help himself. He grinned back at the kid. So far south side didn't seem so bad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you guys. See you tomorrow!


	12. My Love Is Like A Blanket

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got some bad news. After tomorrow's chapter you'll have to wait a whole week for another one because college is killing me slowly and painfully. 
> 
> But I hope tomorrow's chapter will hold you guys over. *evil cackling*
> 
> Just want to remind everyone that the characters are OOC because I can't write them that well and the work is unbeta'd so mistakes are my own but I hope there isn't too much there.
> 
> Read on my peeps. Love you all with all my heart.

A couple days later, Mickey found himself making pancakes for his son and his son's best friend. Mickey found it interesting how even though Yev had a lot of friends at school, he spent most of his time with Liam.

He set the pancakes down at the really crappy plastic kitchen table he got for three dollars from some cheap store in between the two boys.

"Dad, do you ever regret being gay?" Yev asked out of the blue, pulling a pancake onto his plate.

"Dump those fucking friends of yours." Liam said rolling his eyes following Yev's actions. Mickey thought about it for a moment as he sat down and also grabbed a pancake.

"It would make my life easier, I'd admit." He flashed to the fag bashing Terry practiced on him. "But no. It's who I am. A fucking homo." He said satisfied with himself.

"Cool." They sat in silence for a moment before Yev spoke up again. "So I was thinking since you don't regret it, maybe I could go to the gay pride parade in the summer?"

"Sure. When you are eighteen. I'm not letting my eleven year old son go to a fucking parade." Liam nodded agreeing.

"True. Those parades are huge. You can get hurt. Don't get hurt."

"Eugh. Fine." Yev glared at his food. "Can I at least wear rainbow shirts?" Mickey rolled his eyes.

"Do whatever the fuck you want, kid. Don't use me as an excuse though."

The two boys ate in silence as Mickey thought about what to do before the boys went to school. It was Monday so he had the day off. He figured he should just follow Mandy's advice and go to a gym or something like that. He felt he needed to go and work out again. Yev and Liam were discussing something about a football game and Mickey grabbed his phone looking up local gyms. There was one a block away and it was cheap as well. Mickey grinned to himself planning his day as Yev and Liam started to get their bags. Liam telling Yev to drop his stupid friends and Yev telling Liam to give his friends a chance because they weren't that bad.

As soon as they were gone Mickey cleaned up and got his stuff ready.

The gym was big and new and shiny and way too nice for Mickey's taste but it was cheap and he got on the peck dec as soon as he spotted one. There wasn't many people around and Mickey worked his arms feeling his muscles scream in protest. It really has been a while since he last did any kind of exercise. He worked on that for a little while till he felt his body had enough and sat, breathing heavily. It was only then when he spotted Ian Gallagher laughing with some guy across the gym.

The red head looked better. Not as tired. Mickey could make out a small patch of sweat on his torso even from so far away and he licked his lips as he eyed Ian's uniform. The clothes hanging on him perfectly. Outlining his best feautures. His chest was well tones and there was a bulge in his pants that was covered partly by his shirt but not enough. He was laughing with a guy who was probably a client as the other guy was drenched in sweat.

Ian looked at ease but Mickey could make out the small professionalism about him and smiled. To a random bystander, Ian looked like someone who was just standing around and having a good time but his hands were a bit too still and his head movements were a bit too sharp like he was in constant battle over control with his own body. Mickey shook his head and forced himself over to the weights that hid him behind some machinery but still gave him a good view of Ian. Who was now walking away to a touch screen in the middle of the room without his client and a small smile on his face.

Mickey ignored the butterflies in his stomach when Ian's expression changed into a confused one and he looked around the room searching for something. Or someone. Mickey felt his palms go sweaty and he put the weights down not wanting to risk damaging his feet because he was sure if Ian turned those green eyes onto him he would drop them in two seconds flat.

Ian's name was called by someone. It was that guy Mickey saw Ian with at the Alibi. All muscly and good looking. Ian's face lit up as he saw him. Mickey looked down at himself feeling a bit insecure for a moment. But Ian still looked around the gym as if searching for someone. And Mickey had this really stupid idea that Ian could feel him.

It was a really stupid idea but sometimes he felt Ian without seeing him. During his ten years he often felt phantom Ian around him but just suppressed those ideas into the back of his head.

But it was really dumb to think Ian felt him. He stared at the redhead a little bit longer before the Gallagher gave up searching and turned to have a conversation with that man. Mickey definitely didn't feel disappointed.

Then he realised he was a creepy stalker. And told himself to pick up the weights again whilst being inconspicuous.

But he did think Mandy had the right idea with the gym. Because Ian looked so hot, Mickey wanted to blow him right there and then. Consequences be damned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are all incredible human beings who deserve love and blankets.


	13. In Other Words, Please Be True

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is. The chapter I looked forward to the most. Hope you guys like it as much as I do. 
> 
> Unbeta'd.
> 
> Next update: next friday. 
> 
> Love you all

Mickey wasn't on a date.

When he asked Mandy to babysit Yev and told her that he was going to the movies with a friend, she raised her eyebrows at him.

But it really wasn't a date.

Joey had scored some free tickets for that new action movie Mickey has wanted to see and invited him.

It wasn't a date.

Yev seemed excited though, to see his father start to have a social life, and told him to be nice.

Mickey fumbled with his leather jacket as he walked to the cinema.

He knew this wasn't a date. He knew Joey knew it wasn't a date. Mickey chewed on his bottom lip as he obsessed over his non-date. He never gave Joey any impression he was interested. Except that they were both going to sit in the dark for 2 hours watching an adrenaline rush.

But even if it was a date, so what? He didn't own anyone anything. He wasn't committed to anyone. He was as single as they come.

There was no reason for him to not be on a date. And just because he started to notice Ian everywhere because Ian fucking was everywhere but Ian never fucking noticed Mickey which drove Mickey mad (and he _totally_ never noticed that Ian had that searching look on his face like he did back in that stupid gym that Mickey never went back to because he was too scared of stalking the redhead again), that didn't mean that he couldn't go and do stupid shit like dating. He could do it.

It wasn't a new thing to him any more.

Mickey ran a hand over his hair. It was February now. Still cold but the snow turned into slush. His job was actually pretty good. Paid well and was easy. Boring but easy.

Yev was quickly becoming the top of his class and Lip actually encouraged him to do some extra curriculum stuff. He was reluctant to do so because his douchey friends thought that stuff was lame but Liam said that he'd do it also even though he was a couple years older. That motivated Yev. Mickey couldn't hold in his pride at how easily his son accumulated to his surroundings without letting them corrupt him. It was weird but when Yev was happy, Mickey felt happy. Mandy often came over to their now more furnished apartment with her daughter who seemed to be not as ill as she was a month ago. She was also bigger which really fucked with Mickey's head. And she was heavier which he always pointed out when he held her. But Izzy just squinted her eyes and laughed at her uncle. His sister remained blonde. Which actually didn't bother him in the slightest.

Mickey noticed Joey first. He was standing outside the building breathing on his hands and rubbing them together. Mickey rolled his eyes. The stupid fucker forgot his gloves. Mickey walked up to him without making a sound.

"Hey." Joey jumped in the air and let out a small shriek startled. Which did make Mickey feel better. "With that attitude you're gonna get robbed easily around here." He told the other man amused.

"Sorry. Didn't see you." Joey had his hand against his chest breathing heavily. "You look nice." Mickey glanced over himself. He was in torn up jeans and a leather jacket. He cringed inwardly at the compliment.

"Yeah, we gonna see the movie or what?" He chose not to comment about the other man's attire even though he could see Joey was over dressed quite a bit. But it wasn't a date. Not even when Joey bought them popcorn. The movie was interesting but Mickey couldn't focus on it when Joey's hand was too close to his knee for comfort. He fidgeted in his seat until he couldn't take it any more. "Gonna take a leak, quickly." He said to his co-worker and got up as fast as it was possible. Once outside the theatre room, he breathed a sigh of relief and he pulled out a cigarette.

"Sir, you can't smoke in here." An usher told him.

"Uh...I weren't smoking. I'm doing that metaphor shit. From that book." Mickey said but the usher glared at him. "Fuck. Fine." He went outside and thanked that damn usher for being a pissy little wimp because the cold air felt like freedom. He lit up his smoke quickly and nearly moaned at how good it felt. "This is good." He murmured and pulled his phone out wondering if he should just leave but Yev's warning to be nice rang in his head. Normally he wouldn't give a fuck. He ditched Charlie many times but Charlie was a good fuck and Joey was a sort of friend. And Mickey liked having a friend. So he went back inside showing his ticket stub to the usher who narrowed his eyes suspiciously but let him back in. Joey smiled at him as he sat down and scrunched up his nose.

"Thought you were in the toilet?" He whispered.

"A man can't relieve himself on a cinema building and then smoke, any more?" Mickey grinned when Joey chuckled and focused on the movie. After that he actually enjoyed himself. The movie was interesting enough and Joey made comments that made him burst out laughing. Mickey figured that he just needed to relax and not freak out about random shit that wasn't real. When the movie finished Joey suggested burgers which Mickey agreed to in a heartbeat. He hasn't had a good burger in a long while.

"I'd still let Brad Pitt bend me over." Joey said when they ordered their burgers. It was a small diner not far away from Mickey and Yev's place. They were discussing the movie they just watched. "I mean, that beard really does things to me." Mickey felt grateful that Joey was also a bottom. "It's so beautiful." Mickey snorted.

"You kidding right? That Brangelina shit is too tight to even dream about breaking it up. I'm more for that Lerman kid. He looked like a good lay." Their burgers came quickly. They were as disgustingly delicious as Mickey remembered. "Fuck." He groaned. "Yev would kill me if he knew I was eating something this unhealthy." Joey smiled from his own burger.

"You and your son seem close. You always talk about him." His voice was muffled by the food. Mickey shrugged nonchalantly but felt something warm inside his chest.

"I love him. And I'm proud of him, you know. He's done really good."

"That's cute. You know, you come off as this really grumpy dude but you are just a big softie inside." Mickey sat up straight.

"Fuck you. I'm just proud of my kid. That's all."

"Hey, I'm not judging. Would love to meet him someday." A flash of red appeared in the corner of Mickey's eye and he suddenly felt his skin get goosebumps. "You okay?" Joey asked worried. Mickey looked around trying to find that flash of red in the diner.

"Yeah...just...." He felt Ian. He felt he was near and his heart started pounding in his chest. He looked out the window and indeed saw the redheaded Gallagher staring at him smoking. Mickey swallowed hard as he eyed him. He looked incredible. His hair was slicked back and he was staring straight at Mickey with something dangerous in his eyes. Something almost predatory. A leer to boot. He wanted him. That was Gallagher lust in its purest form. Even from across the street Mickey could recognise Ian's wants. He turned back to Joey knowing he had to leave or he'd do something stupid. "Dude, I gotta go. I'll see you on Wednesday." Joey nodded confused and Mickey practically ran out of the diner. He only glanced in Ian's direction and started to walk down the street.

"He's pretty!" He heard Ian call after him.

"The fuck is wrong with you?!" Mickey yelled back and heard someone running up to him. Ian looked down at him with innocent eyes.

"What do you mean?" Mickey stopped walking to face him.

"Stalking me now, Gallagher? Isn't that a bit pathetic?" Ian rolled his eyes annoyed and crossed his arms.

"I wasn't stalking you, _Milkovich_. I was just walking past and saw you and your little date over there."

"So staring at me like that is what? Just a fucking coincidence?" Mickey spat at him.

"Staring at you like what?" Ian bit back. "Huh, Mickey? I was just having a fucking smoke and I look over and see you sitting there with your fucking face and your dumb hair on your fucking date and then you are accusing me of stalking you. Well fuck you, Mickey! I am just having a fucking walk on a Sunday night. Jesus Christ!" He sighed exasperated and run his hand over his hair. Mickey's eyes following the actions.

"Dumb hair? My hair is not dumb, Gallagher. Your hair is dumb."

"My hair is not dumb."

"Totally fucking is."

"Mickey, for fuck's sakes, are you seriously going to bitch about whose hair is the dumbest?" Ian asked annoyed. Mickey huffed and started walking home again.

"This isn't working for me." He murmured but Ian still heard him as he quickly bounced into step with the Milkovich man.

"What?"

"This. Living in the same city. Same neighbourhood. Bumping into you. All the freaking time. It isn't working for me." Ian stopped walking and Mickey looked over at him surprised. He had that unreadable expression on his face. "Got a problem?"

"Yeah...I do..." Ian looked around quickly and pulled Mickey into an alley pushing him up against the wall. "You think this isn't difficult for me? You think it doesn't make me crazy having you so near and so far away?" He grinded against Mickey who groaned and dug his nails into Ian's hips. The redhead bent down and started nipping at Mickey's jaw whispering huskily. "It makes me go insane. I feel you everywhere. I can't leave the house without wanting to see you right around the corner. You drive me insane, Mick." He purred, his hands palming Mickey through the jeans.

"Fuck, Gallagher." He moaned and that's when Ian took a step back.

Smirking at the small whine Mickey made before his expression turned dark.

"I'm sorry. That was---I'm sorry. I gotta work on my self control." Mickey took a deep breath as he registered what just happened.

"Yeah. Me too." He said and Ian leaned against the opposite wall. They stood there for a while just eyeing each other up, regretting the brief physical contact. Partly because that was all that happened and partly because they shouldn't have let it. "So I make you go insane, huh, Firecrotch?" Mickey grinned in spite of what his rational brain was telling him too. Ian chuckled and shook his head.

"Dickhead."

Mickey couldn't help himself.

He walked over to Ian and kissed him.

He pulled Ian's head towards him by his neck and pulled at his bottom lip shutting his eyes firmly. Ian's hands went around his waist as the kiss become more heated. Mickey groaned as Ian's tongue darted towards his and he felt his own body rising upwards just to get closer. Ian flipped them over and pushed him against the wall turning Mickey on with his roughness never breaking the kiss. They were there either for seconds or hours, neither of them caring. Nothing mattered in that moment. Ian tasted like cigarettes and it made Mickey want him even more.

It made Mickey want to forget everything.

His body reacted immediately as Ian's hands made their way underneath Mickey's jacket.

Mickey broke away when he started to lose oxygen. He forgot to breathe, lost in Ian. He leaned his forehead against the redhead's with both of them panting heavily and looked at him.

"Mick..." Ian whispered, voice heavy with meaning behind the simple word, his hands still roaming underneath Mickey's jacket. Eyes closed. Mickey smiled as he counted every single freckle on his face. The air around them silent yet thick. He stroked Ian's neck softly making the other man hum in content. These were the moments. When nothing was important. The world could burn as long as Ian and Mickey had these moments. Everything was alright in those small spaces of time.

"I miss you." Mickey let himself say, slightly surprised how true that statement was and Ian opened his eyes. The green still shining brightly in the dark. "I know it doesn't make anything okay. I know I got issues with you. I know that there is stuff....I know all of that. But I miss you." Ian smiled softly and wrapped his arms around Mickey bringing them closer, crowding the Milkovich man in. Mickey looked down at Ian's hands embarrassed and pulled at the loops on Ian's belts. Not with any intent of sexual nature. But just to fidget with something for a moment.

"Go out with me." Mickey felt surprise go through him and his eyes travelled to Ian's, briefly stopping at the red lips.

"What?"

"Go out with me. Let's start fresh. All that stuff that happened, that's still there but let's just try." Mickey smirked at the other man.

"A clean slate, huh?" Ian nodded nudging Mickey's nose with his own making Mickey feel giddy and light like a fucking schoolgirl. Strangely he didn't care. "It would be a disaster, carrot top."

"Probably." Ian agreed, eyes firmly glued to Mickey's. A serious expression on his face. Mickey felt something inside him break. He wanted Ian more than anything in the world in that moment. Nothing else mattered. He thought for a moment about whether or not he could trust Ian again and decided to take that risk.

"Fine. One date." Mickey said bringing a huge smile on Ian's face threatening to break it. "But I don't want some queer shit. I want a man date."

"A man date." Ian repeated amused, eyes brighter than before.

"Will you shut the fuck up and eat my face already?" Mickey growled and grabbed onto Ian's jacket, pulling Ian back down reminding himself to breathe this time. Ian more than happy to oblige.

When Mickey picked Yev up from Mandy's later that night, his hair was a mess and there was a giant hickey on his neck. Mandy raised her eyebrows at that and snorted, muttering _'not a date, my ass'_ underneath her breath. Mickey ignored his sister, not letting anyone fuck with his giddyness. Both of them agreed that having sex wasn't the smartest idea for the moment but making out like the gooey teenagers they never were was acceptable.

Sure, there was a lot of reasons to stay away from Ian.

A lot.

A LOT.

Of really.

Good.

Important.

Valid.

Reasons.

But Mickey had a habbit of doing the wrong thing. And this way, at least he got to have incredible sex with the man who he loved even when that man broke his heart.

 _'Yup.'_ Mickey thought to himself as him and Yev walked home with Yev talking about his art project.

Mickey was certain he would get screwed one way or another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whaaaaaaaaaaaat? *dramatic exit with a cape and shit*


	14. Close Up, Let Me Back In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw, I missed you guys. Christmas break is here and I did promise to finish this fic before the new season. Hopefully will post the last chapter on New Year's Eve. 
> 
> Unbeta'd. 
> 
> Not particularly pleased with this chapter, I have to admit. 
> 
> It's also not as long as I'd like it to be but the next chapter is long and there's so much fucking emotional whiplash to traumatize you guys forever.
> 
> Thank you so much for the sweet birthday wishes. They made me really happy. Love you all. Now enjoy. Next chapter should be up on Sunday. ;) XOXO Not Gossip Girl

Yev won an award at school for his art project. It was a paper diarama of Yev and Mickey on top of a globe that looked like earth. Liam even drew in the clothes and coloured them in, all shadows and everything. Mickey was so proud of his son he said they would do anything he wanted.

Which was for Yev's pretentious friends to come to their flat for a sleep over.

Mickey agreed but Liam wasn't pleased. In fact, Liam was so not okay with being around the kids that Mickey came home to find his son and his best friend fighting.

Physically. Not very well either.

Mickey stood there for a moment, briefly pleased that his son was losing, before getting involved. He lifted Liam off Yev easily and held his son down with his foot until both of them calmed down.

"The fuck is going on?" He asked more interested than annoyed. Liam took a deep breath and stilled which Mickey took as a sign of surrender, letting him go. Liam grabbed his coat and ran out of the house not even looking at him, slamming the door. Mickey helped Yev up and attempted to confront his son who just went into his room with his head hanging low, muttering something about burgers in the kitchen before shutting his own door softly.

He stood and stared at the door sure that Yev would come out and tell him everything but after ten minutes of silence, he realised that this situation was not going to be discussed. He put the burger in the microwave for dinner and Yev came out to join him, they tried to eat dinner together as often as possible, but he was quiet.

"D'you want to talk about it?" Mickey asked.

"Nope." Yev replied and went back into his room quickly after putting his empty dish back.

-.-

When Mickey was four, his mom used to get high and come into his room telling him how she should have ran away. How she should have had a better life. How she should have just left.

Mickey often wondered why she didn't.

He did it.

Fuck, Gallagher even did it.

Ian always left.

Mickey stared at the TV not paying attention to the screen, lost in thought. He agreed to go on a fucking date with Ian a week ago and since then...nothing. He hadn't heard anything from the Gallagher man and that made him anxious. It made him wonder if Ian left again. If Ian was doing something or some _one_. Mickey growled frustrated and ran a hand over his face. Mandy mentioned in passing that Ian was out of comission for a couple of days because he changed his medication but that really didn't settle Mickey's feelings. 

"Acting like a fucking wimp." He muttered to himself before pulling out his phone and messaging Mandy asking her for Ian's phone number. Her reply was a one word ' _Why?_ '. Mickey rolled his eyes and told her to mind her own fucking business. She told him to fuck off. So he messaged Lip and he didn't ask any questions, he just sent the number. Mickey quickly saved it in his phone, replacing the old number he had for years but never called. He mulled things over, trying to convince himself that he wasn't desperately pining over the redhead but even his subconcious didn't find that shit believable. He texted the number.

_20:39 yo, gallagher, this radio silence really making a guy feel special_

He put his phone to one side, forcing himself to not stare at it until Ian texted back but the wait was fucking him up. The TV didn't take his mind of it; his son moved in his room quietly but even that didn't stop his anxiety. Mickey stood up and went for a beer when he heard his phone vibrate. He certainly **didn't** lunge across the not very sturdy couch to get the small device and he **didn't** fall onto the floor, hissing in pain as his back hit the hard wood. No, it was all perfectly manly and not girly. Yev popped his head out of his room and eyed Mickey lying on the floor.

"Everything okay, dad?" He asked with a ' _my father is a weirdo_ ' expression.

"Fucking peachy as fuck." Mickey said with the biggest smile he could muster. Yev nodded and went back into his room as the Milkovich man took a deep breath trying to control his heart beat before looking at his phone.

_20:57 Mick? You changed your number? Shit, sorry. Been kinda low this week. Needed new meds. Don't worry. I didn't forget about our manly date._

Mickey grinned. Wider than he's ever grinned before. His face hurt from how high the corners of his mouth were. His chest felt very light and he wanted to laugh at the ridiculous man. He typed a response on the phone immediately but hesitated before sending it. He wasn't sure if he should let Ian know he was willing to reply right away.

_21:01 are you making fun of me? ill fuck you up gallagher, ill wear them brass knuckles you got me for xmas and shit, itll be a special pounding. how are the new meds? its been ten years ian, ofc i changed my number, you did too_

Mickey stopped breathing for a moment as he waited for the reply which came literally seconds later.

_21:01 A pounding, huh? Seeing as you're the one who takes it up the ass, I think I should be the one doing the pounding. ;D I kinda thought you threw the knuckles away. Nice to know you didn't. They're alright. Make me sleep a lot. Have to cut my hours down at work which sucks. How's your life?_

Mickey blushed at the message. It was easy. Too simple really. Sharing small pieces of himself with the other man. Natural. Almost like breathing. And Mickey found himself not wanting to stop.

_21:03 damn, that sounds shitty tbh, and yeah, fine, you do the pounding. you need exercise more than me cus of your bipolar shit, life is fine, shitty like always, Yev and Liam are in a fight or something, that was interesting, and work is boring, there's this apeshit that works there, homophobic bastard, bastarde? el fucking bastardamo?_

_21:03 I doubt that's an an actual word, Mick._

_21:03 well they should fucking make it an actual word, gallagher_

_21:03 Sure, I'll just ring up the Spanish speaking governments and tell them that Mickey Milkovich demands them to make it an actual word in the language that has been around for centuries._

_21:04 stop the history drama, you douchebag. boring my ass off._

_21:04 I'll stop. Only because I'd like to do other shit to your ass._

_21:04 like whut?_

_21:04 Write poetry about it? Sing praises to the Lord?_

Mickey choked out a surprised laugh.

_21:05 jfc gallagher, you are such a fucking queer_

_21:06 Says the size queen._

_21:06 m'not_

_21:06 Mickey, you called my dick Thor's hammer._

_21:06 don't fucking remember_

_21:07 Pretty sure you were riding me at the time._

_21:07 i called you many names, gallagher, don't remember every single fucking one_

Mickey put his phone down needing a break because his face was fully flushed red whilst the device vibrated next to him. It vibrated again and Mickey picked up the phone again, buzzing in his hands. Three texts. More kept on coming.

_21:07 Whatever helps you sleep at night. Which reminds me. Do we plan on doing it in the butt on our first official and very manly date?_

_21:07 Fuck, I am queer._

_21:07 But I'm queer for you. D'you want me to make heart shaped eyes? I'm sure I can find an emoticon for that._

_21:08 Okay, Liam just slammed the door so hard it nearly fell off its' hinges. I guess whatever happened between him and Yev was serious. I've never seen him like this._

_21:09 He just told Fiona, Debbie and Jimmy to fuck off. He's never done that before. Dude, the fuck happened?_

_21:10 I'll talk to you later, Mick. He's really upset._

Mickey stared at the messages for a little while before deciding that enough is enough. His curiosity was too much. He knocked on Yev's door and when he heard a quiet acknowledgement, he walked into the dark room. Yev sprawled out on the bed, face hidden in his sheets. Mickey sat down at the edge of the bed and rubbed his back until Yev moved.

"I don't wanna talk about it." Yev's voice was muffled by the pillows.

"It's okay. You don't have to." Mickey's hand moved to the boy's hair. "But Liam seems to be pretty fucking pissed. I think whatever happened, the two of you should fix it." Yev looked at him. Even in the dark Mickey could spot the damp patches on his son's cheeks.

"When did you first realise you were gay?" Yev asked quietly. Mickey stilled at the question.

"It's uh...I was a bit younger than you I think." Mickey said evasively even though he could remember the moment exactly. He was 8. Tony was teasing him about something and Mickey wanted to fight back with something other than his fists because Tony was bigger and Mickey always lost. So he told everyone at the table that boys are better kissers than girls. Tony lost his winning leer, Iggy looked at him terrified mouthing ' _run_ , Mandy opened her mouth and stared at their mom who was standing still pouring her husband beer into a dirty glass. Uncle Eddie turned the TV off from the couch. And then Terry looked at him. Mickey knew some things were off limits when it came to his dad. Like the word gay but Mickey didn't really know what gay meant yet. When he was sitting at the table looking up at his dad with his eight year old eyes, he realised that this was offlimits because he has never seen his father look at him like he'd kill him before. That day was the first worst beating of his life.

Mickey looked down at Yev grateful that the only time his son has ever seen that bastard was at his christening.

"Why do you ask?" Yev's eyes travelled somewhere else to avoid his father's.

"I think Liam likes me. And I think I like him too. In the gay way." Mickey scratched his head not sure how to proceed.

"Um....huh." Yev blinked at him hoping for some answers. "Have you ever did anything with him? Like physically? You're really young, Yev. Maybe you just need to try as many things as possible?" Mickey cringed inwardly as his son sat up immediately with a fierce expression on his face.

"Dad. I want to spend every single second of my existence with him, holding hands and kissing him. I know I'm only eleven but give me some credit. I know what I like. And I like the male gender in a romantic way. To be more specific. I like Liam. Liam's face makes me happy."

"But you're just....you're really young." Mickey sighed. "I just want you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Don't rush into these things."

"That's the thing! I'm not rushing. Everything was perfect, me and Liam are friends. And it all feels like its going at the right pace. Like one day we are going to be beautiful together and stuff." Mickey pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I'm really confused." The man said to himself not knowing what to do.

"So am I!" Yev yelled exasperated and flopped back face down into his sheets. "Liam is jealous." He muffled.

"Of your friends?" 

"Affirmative."

"Have you...I don't know...did you two fucking talk or whatever?" Yev sat up again and fumbled with his shirt.

"Well, he might also be angry because my friends are very pro heroin." Mickey felt his head explode. "But I don't do it! I just like hanging out with them. And I told Liam that and he asked if I wanted to hang out with someone why not just hang out with him and I said because I wanted to branch out and he asked if he wasn't enough anymore and then I might have said some really mean things and we got into a fight."

"Wait. A fucking. Minute." Mickey took a deep breath. Then another. And another. And a few more until his son made an exasperated noise. "Yev, I think you should apologise to Liam. Because you two are friends. How you have ended up friends is beyond me. But you managed to do that. As for your sexuality, please wait until you're at least 28. I think I'll be dead by then and fine with the thought of my son as an adult. Hanging out with people you like is not an issue but I don't want you to be around heroin. I don't want you doing drugs. Or drinking. Or smoking. Of course, when you're 28 you can do whatever the fuck you like but just....fuck. I don't fucking know what to say here." Yev patted his arm comfortingly. 

"It's okay, dad. I really am a good kid. Kinda sucks but I'm really not interested in being a mini you." Mickey huffed feeling a headache coming on. "I'll go and see Liam tomorrow after school. But I just...I don't know how to apologise. I mean, I said some really horrible things." Mickey rubbed his lower lip.

"Yeah but you've gotta try, Yevvy." Yev nodded.

"You're a good dad. Like, I wouldn't swap you for anyone. I am very lucky to have a dad like you." Mickey grinned and ruffled his son's hair.

"Same here kid."

-.-

Mickey was almost falling asleep when his phone buzzed. He reluctantly picked it up and smiled to himself.

_01:19 I slept for like 19 hours today so now I am wide awake._

_01:20 damn, gallagher. some of us are dying of no sleep here, we can't afford that kind of luxury_

_01:21 Did you seriously just call my disorder a luxury?_

_01:21 yup._

_01:21 I am offended._

_01:22 i am falling asleep_

_01:22 Fine, master **Mykhailo**. I shall let you slumber like the princess you are._

_01:22 y u gotta calm me that? fucking hate that, fuck off n lemme sleep_

_01:22 I will! Just be patient for a fucking second. Saturday. This Saturday. At 8._

_01:23 what?_

_01:23 OUR DATE, MICKEY. Be ready at 8. I'll pick you up. Wear jumpers. Like a thousand jumpers._

_01:23 gallagher the fuck you got in your head?_

_01:24 Probably should mention that you should get Yev to sleep at Mandy's. Or sleepover with Liam if they fix whatever happened today because I'm picking you up at 8 in the morning._

_01:25 THE FUCK?! dude saturdays are fucking holy days, i ain't getting out of my bed before 11_

_01:25 You say that but I know you'll be ready. Because you like me._

_01:26 fucking hell just let me sleep_

_01:26 Saturday. 8 o'clock. Jumpers. It's going to be the best fucking date you've ever been on, Mickey Milkovich. Night._

_01:27 fuck off, night gallagher_

Mickey put his phone back with a dopey grin on his face. There was a nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach that said he was being stupid. He was starting to trust Ian again. Completely. He was falling back _into_ Ian. Yet those emotions were drowned out by his sleep. He dreamt of beautiful redheads and green eyes sitting at his crappy plastic kitchen table helping his son with homework. He dreamt of being domestic and fluffy like he knew he never would permit himself to be with Ian. He dreamt of never letting the redhead go. And then he dreamt of owls for some fucking reason. But those dreams were enough to stop his worries. Those dreams were enough to make him feel content and happy.

Which Mickey Milkovich never thought he would be again. 

At least not when it involved Ian Gallagher.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are all cute cutey pies.
> 
> <3


	15. Can You Love Me Again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS:
> 
> -Mentions of Bipolar Disorder  
> -Mentions of Suicide Attempts  
> -Mentions of Difficulties Coping  
> -Some emotional whiplash  
> -Mentions of Child Abuse
> 
> Smut.
> 
> I am not good at writing smut and this is the first fic that I have actually tried to write smut in. I must warn you. It isn't great. 
> 
> Unbeta'd.
> 
> I am pretty sure you guys will love this chapter.

Mickey woke up to someone pounding on his door viciously. He groaned and buried his head underneath his pillows muttering obscenities at the stranger intruding on his sleep hoping the stranger would hear and leave.

Sadly that was not the case. He briefly considered yelling at his son to get it before he remembered that Yev was at Mandy's and he wasn't planning on coming back until the afternoon. Liam and him were still fighting.

The pounding increased and Mickey, swearing viciously, got up. He shuffled through the apartment in his sweats. His shirt lost somewhere after a spectacular session of jerking off last night. He took advantage of Yev not being home and used the toys he hoped his son would never see, not worried about how loud he was.

He threw the door open to see Ian Gallagher standing on the other side, his hand nearly hitting Mickey's face as he was mid knock. They froze for a moment taking each other in.

Mickey licked his lips as he eyes the tight jeans on the other man. Hair messy and falling over his green eyes.

"You're not dressed." Ian choked out with a strained voice, his eyes dark on Mickey's stomach. Mickey felt very exposed. And very aware of when he last worked out. He was in good shape still but he used to be better. He crossed his arms trying to intimidate the other man and to cover himself up somewhat. Berating himself now for not being bothered enough to find a shirt before opening the door. The silence stretched between them as Mickey tried to make his still very much asleep brain work.

"How do you know where I live?" Mickey asked leaning his face on the door and closing his eyes as the cool wood felt amazing against his sweat covered forehead.

"Lip." Ian still sounded strained. As if he was trying to stop himself from pouncing on Mickey. As if he was in pain because he wasn't on Mickey.

"Gallagher. It's like the middle of the night."

"It's 10 o'clock." Ian corrected sounding more amused with the strain still there.

"Exactly. The fuck you want?" Mickey saw Ian's face falter in the corner of his eye and it was like something was breaking inside of him. That fucking kicked puppy face always made him crazy. Mickey's brain worked for a moment. "The date. Thought it was meant to be at 8." He pushed himself from the door and went into the kitchen. Ian hovered at the threshold but eventually went in, cautious of the surroundings around him, and lightly closed the door. Mickey poured himself coffee rubbing his eyes before taking out another cup and pouring Ian one as well. He didn't think to analyse that behaviour so soon after he woke up. It was automatic. Ian leaned against the wall and stared at Mickey's hands.

"It was. But I realised that you probably wouldn't be up." Ian was quiet and Mickey passed him the cup. Two sugar satches followed. Mickey liked his black. He remembered Ian preferred it sweet. The satches were stolen from the Alibi. Kevin didn't give a fuck but Jess always glared. The redhead nodded at him surprised in gratitude when Mickey threw a plastic spoon on the counter.

"Good call." Mickey winced at the hot liquid but downed it, burning his throat in process. "So what did you plan 'cause I only have like three jumpers?"

"Paintball." Ian wouldn't meet his eyes. Still staring at Mickey's hands. "Me and you against Debbie and Matt. But it can wait. I thought we'd have that conversation first.""

"What conversation?"

"The conversation."

"Oh. Yeah. That one." Mickey replied sarcastically rolling his eyes and motioned to the couch which Ian sat down at whilst he went into his bedroom. The Milkovich man found a somewhat clean shirt on the floor. "What fucking conversation?" He yelled and went back into the living room grabbing his empty mug from the kitchen just so he could have something to fumble with. He had an idea as to where this was going but his stomach was doing flip flops at Ian being so near him that all thoughts just flew out from his brain. He sat at the other edge of the couch not missing the disappointed glance from Ian over his shirt and he faltered for a moment. Rationally he knew that Ian was looking at him like that because he had on more layers but his father's voice in the back of his head hissed how it was because Mickey was a disgusting piece of shit. Wonderful thoughts to hear in the morning.

"About us." Ian murmured. The only reason why Mickey even heard that was because he had his eyes glued to the man who was finding the ugly floor a lot more interesting.

"I woke up ten minutes ago." Mickey said more to himself and threw his head back scratching his throat. "Fine. Where do we start?" Ian was again surprised by Mickey if the look he gave him was anything to go by. Seconds passed in silence and Mickey rolled his head to the side raising his eyebrow at Ian who seemed to have had a hard time speaking. It was a lot easier texting it seemed. Mickey wondered if the new medication had anything to do with that although it shouldn't have had any effect on him. Shouldn't. Sometimes did.

"I..." Ian's voice was hoarse. Even though he had a cup of hot coffee in his hands, Mickey imagined the redhead's throat being as dry as a fucking desert. He looked nervous. His lips trembled a bit and his jaw clenched at times as he tried to find the right words. Mickey waited patiently. He learned to be patient over the years thanks to his son. And right now it seemed that it was what Ian needed. The air around them was heavy with unspoken emotion but Mickey felt at ease. He felt comfortable. He felt ready to let Ian back in. The Gallagher man took a deep breath and turned his whole body towards Mickey who was still resting his head back. "I want to be with you." Mickey remained silent waiting for Ian to continue. Something radiated off him. It took a moment before it hit the Milkovich man. This was _important_ to Ian. Talking. Discussing. Being honest. They **never** did that when they were kids. It was either Mickey pretending he couldn't remember Ian was in his little league or it was Ian lying about how he felt or it was Mickey being too much of a coward or it was Ian manipulating him or it was this or it was that. "Fuck..." Ian's hair fell forward covering his eyes even more as he moved his head. The control of his movements was there. It took everything Ian had to be in the positions he was. 

Mickey felt his stomach clench and the coffee turn unpleasantly. 

This wasn't _his_ Ian anymore.

This was a broken man struggling every single day.

Mickey got himself repaired. Ian never did.

It wasn't a theory. The man sitting in front of him was proof for the hypothesis.

"It was my fault. I slept with someone else. I fucked around." Ian said firmly, his hands rolled up into fists resting on his thighs. Mickey felt like Ian cut him with each word. Small paper cuts on his pale skin. But he let him go on. This was necessary. 

He wanted Ian back. He _needed_ Ian back. 

Mickey picked at the thread underneath his fingers on the couch, head still rolled to the side and eyes glued to the other man. 

Maybe he could repair Ian. 

"I have...it's been...difficult." Ian spat as if the word disgusted him. "I tried to enlist....Again. But it didn't work. Since...Since my illness was pretty evident." His voice was shaking but his body was still. Frozen. Mickey reached out his hand and placed it on Ian's knee which seemed to help. His body relaxed softly as Mickey didn't move away. His eyes lit up like the fourth of July meeting Mickey's. "I had some short term work. Nothing too...demanding. I've fucked a lot. I've been at the hospital on suicide watch three times in the past four years. Eleven in the ten that you've been gone. It was the worst for the first two years. It was my worst episode." Mickey wondered if Ian noticed that he was covered in cuts. He felt like he was bleeding all over from the shallow wounds but the younger man went on. Mickey didn't dare to interrupt. 

This was _important_. 

This was _necessary_. 

"I went after you once. To New York. Saw you. And baby Yev. Mandy gave me the address. I went and saw you." He gently touched Mickey's hand and when the Milkovich didn't flinch, he interlocked their fingers. As if he wanted to make sure Mickey wouldn't leave. As if he wanted to tie Mickey down. His fingers rough and skin hard. Different from the teenage hands Mickey remembered. "Yev was crying in the street. And you were talking. And you were smiling. And I realised. You weren't mine anymore. You were his. I lost you to your own son. And I've....I've hated Yevgeny for that. Because he got you. Because he had you. And I fucked things up. I destroyed everything I had because I couldn't get my dick up." Mickey's head felt heavy as he listened to Ian.

"It was easier when you weren't around. It was easier to pretend...that it was Yev's fault. But you came back. I take one look at that kid and I feel like a monster. Because he is...He is incredible. He is like a fucking star on top of the Christmas tree. He's the thing that shines bright in the dark."

"I used to feel that way about you." Mickey said without thinking. Ian's eyes widened.

"What?" Mickey huffed and rubbed his face with his free hand. Rubbing small circles with his thumb around Ian's with the other.

"That you were the only good thing in this dump. You were getting out. You were my light. Sorta." Mickey shrugged not looking over at Ian's reaction.

"Don't you hate me?" The redhead asked. "The things I said about Yev..."

"Yeah. The thing is...." Mickey pulled out of Ian's hand and stood up taking both of their cups to the kitchen. Ian following with his eyes only. He washed them as he spoke. "I kinda hated him too. I mean, I was just fucking a guy I liked and the next thing I know, got a fucking wife and a kid." Mickey put the cups on the drying rack and wiped his hands on his shirt before returning to the couch. "But whatever. He grew on me. He taught me shit. And instead of wishing he didn't exist, I started to wish that he never had to go through what I went through. I started to want more for him. I can't offer him much. I don't know if I'll be able to pay for college or shit like that. But I know I can love him." He looked at Ian who stared at him with an unreadable expression on his face. "Yeah, he came into this world in the shittiest circumstances but thanks to him I got my shit together. I got a life. A job. My own place. He's the reason for all of that." Mickey ran a hand through his hair. It was disgusting but he promised himself to not shower until at least Monday. "I think if you didn't fuck that guy, I would have stayed here. I don't know what would have happened but I doubt I'd be this person. And I doubt me and Yev would be us. And that's it, Gallagher. If you want me back, he comes with me. He's the whole package. I mean, your whole fucking family including my fucking sister comes with you and I have Yev. If you want this..." He motioned between them. "...then you can't not want my son either." 

"Okay." Ian immediately responded. Mickey blinked at him.

"What?"

"Okay. I want Yev too. I want him too." Mickey didn't realise he was grinning until Ian smiled at him with the biggest amount of warmth he was capable of. Ian was like the fucking sun sometimes.

"Well...uh..." Mickey looked around feeling embarrassed. "Good."

"Yes, it is." He sounded smug. He sounded like he had on that fucking smirk Mickey hated so much. But then Ian shifted and the air in the room changed. "Mick, why are you even...why are you...?" Ian fumbled with his words again and Mickey felt his mood drop instantaneously. He knocked his knee with the younger man's trying to encourage him. "Don't you hate me for what I did? Why are you letting me try to...? I know why I want to but why after what I did--?" Mickey cut him off by pulling Ian towards him and smashing their lips into a fairly gentle for them kiss. A small peck. Maybe a little nibble of Ian's bottom lip. He pulled back from Ian wordlessly and went into the bathroom confusing the redhead. 

"Forgot to brush my teeth." Mickey yelled from the bathroom. He heard Ian chuckle from the living room as he quickly put the toothpaste on his toothbrush but when he came back out, Ian was lying on the couch pissing himself with laughter wiping his eyes. Mickey smirked and straddled the younger man who was still laughing. Vibrations travelling through his body and Mickey just stared at him with a soft smile. He loved that Ian the best. 

The carefree, laughing at something fucking dumb for hours, Ian. His face was red, his freckles more visible and his mouth looked like it hurt from smiling so much. 

The laughter died down after a couple of minutes with Ian looking up at Mickey mirroring the smile the Milkovich man produced.

"Because I want to be with you, too. Fucking moron." Mickey murmured as he traced the outlines of Ian's chest over his shirt, his jacket open. "I had other guys, too. But you are the only one I think is worth anything." Ian's breath hitched.

"Why?" He asked Mickey serious.

"Because...Because no matter how many fucking times you wreck me, I love you." Mickey felt more exposed than he was opening the door without his shirt by saying those few words. Ian slowly smiled up at him and Mickey regretted saying them immediately. "Fuck, you're not gonna make a big fucking queer bash out of this are you?" Ian pulled him down and kissed him. Fierce and hard, teeth clanking awkwardly at first before they naturally slotted together. Tongues probing at each other misplaced before softly sliding over their mouths. Ian let out a whine as Mickey rolled his hips into Ian's and pinned his arms above his head.

Mickey always had a thing for pinning Ian down. Ever since that first time with the fucking iron tire. Mickey growled into Ian's mouth as the memory of fucking Kash 'n' Grab came into his head. He opened his eyes he didn't know he had closed and pulled back earning another whine. Ian looked at him confused with glazed eyes and swollen lips.

"No fucking other guys." Mickey hissed and tightened his grip on Ian's arms sure he'd leave bruises there. "You're mine, Gallagher. Get it?" Ian smirked at him coyly.

"And I suspect same goes for you, right? You're mine, too?" Mickey rolled his eyes annoyed but nodded.

"I'm yours." He murmured and went back to kissing Ian as the younger man laughed into the kiss. Mickey rolled his hips again turning that laugh into a moan and smirked, his right hand moving behind Ian's neck gripping tightly bringing their mouths impossibly closer. Ian worked one of his hands free from Mickey's hold and cupped Mickey's ass through the sweats bucking his hips into the other man's. They stayed on the couch for a while. Making out like horny teenagers and moving against each other. Bodies causing friction. The air changed again, Mickey could feel the heat from Ian's skin and he pulled them up into a sitting position breaking away for a moment to take Ian's jacket and shirt off. Ian eagerly helping and tugging at Mickey's shirt. "No." Mickey growled and pushed Ian back down planting his lips on the redhead's neck. Sucking violently at his collarbone whilst he palmed Ian through those fucking tight jeans with his right hand and his left focusing on Ian's right nipple. The redhead made a choked noise as Mickey moved his mouth around it. Sucking and swirling around his tongue like candy. He felt Ian's now throbbing hard erection threatening to pop the button of the redhead's jeans and he smirked at the relieved sigh from Ian as he pulled them down as fast as possible. 

Mickey loved Ian's cock. He always loved it. It was huge. It was beautiful. It was an eighth wonder of the world.

The cock was curved upwards proudly, throbbing red with a long vein on the side coming up towards its' head starting to leak with precome. Mickey stared at it for a moment, smiling to himself.

"Come the fuck on, Mickey!" Ian yelled exasperated. The Milkovich man raised his eyebrows at him before hovering over the head. He heard Ian take in a deep breath as he planted his mouth on it slowly. The couch wasn't the best place for this, he felt he would fall over the edge any second and the thing wasn't that sturdy either. But then Ian whimpered. He fucking whimpered as Mickey slowly took all of him in. His throat, not used to such a large cock anymore, closed up and Mickey had to pull back. Ian ran his hand through Mickey's hair. "You don't have to--" He started

"Shut the fuck up, Gallagher." Mickey responded annoyed at his body and went back to Ian's cock covered in his saliva. Drool running down his chin. He forced his tongue down and took slow breaths, easing his throat back into action. He heard that sometimes yawning helped but he never had a chance to practice that. Back at Christmas, it was so much easier to do this. He yawned and as felt his throat relax immediately, he pushed his head down, taking all of Ian into his mouth. The ginger pubes tickling at his nose and Mickey slowly pulled back savouring the noises Ian was making. He let Ian's cock fall out of his mouth but it nearly hit him in the face, harder than before. Mickey, palmed at his own erection as moved to work back on Ian's but the redhead pulled him up to his mouth by the black hair. He rubbed his cock against Mickey's sweats and Mickey couldn't stop the groan out of his mouth. Ian smirked and pulled away wiping Mickey's chin. Eyes usually light and green now dark and hazel filled with lust. His smirk dangerous and Mickey felt himself shiver as Ian touched the small of his back.

"I want to fucking pound you, Mickey." He purred and bit Mickey's bottom lip hard. The pain should have made Mickey flinch but instead it went straight to his dick. He breathed heavily as Ian started to rub them together again. "D'you want me to pound you, Mick?" Ian purred again and sucked on his neck, eyes dark and daring locked with Mickey's who let out a moan as Ian started to use his teeth. Their cocks not generating enough friction for his liking. 

"Bed--Bedroom." Ian smirked smugly as he let Mickey get up first and followed him. His hands on Mickey's hips. He stilled for a moment in the doorway to take in his surroundings and Mickey looked around for lube and condoms. They were pretty easy to find since he used the lube last night. His sex toys put away in the box under his bed. He looked over to see Ian staring at the naked walls with interest, his jeans around his hips trying to cover up the very strained cock. "You gonna stand there all day or you gonna fuck me?" 

Ian moved faster than a speed of light, kissing him and grabbing the lube out of Mickey's hands shoving the older man onto the bed. Mickey watched him through his lashes as he pushed his jeans down and then quickly pulled down Mickey's throwing them to the side. 

"Take off your shirt." Ian hissed at him, stroking Mickey's cock slowly and uncapping the small bottle with his other hand. Mickey smugly noticed that he left a hickey on Ian's neck and did as he was told. He expected Ian to turn him around but instead the redhead licked a long stripe from his balls to the top of his cock whilst placing a lubed up finger at Mickey's hole.

Mickey tried to force his body to relax and let Ian's digit in but there was a serious lack of activity for months. His sex toys didn't help loosen him up yesterday night. Ian abandoned Mickey's cock and leaned over Mickey's face, smiling slightly but worry clear in his eyes.

"We don't have to do this, you know." He whispered softly. 

"I know we don't." Mickey responded feeling Ian's erection heavy next to his own and touched the brand new hickey. "I want to, Ian." The redhead stared at him for a second before planting another kiss on Mickey. This one was slow. This one wasn't hungry. This one was beautiful. Mickey kept his eyes open and he was glad he did so because this way he noticed every single spectrum of Ian's eye colour, the way the freckles on his nose danced as he adjusted to kiss Mickey, the way his eye lids fluttered to barely shut and then flew back up again. Ian placed his finger at Mickey's hole again and this time, Mickey was relaxed enough to let him in. He moaned into the kiss as Ian worked inside him, fitting a second finger after a while stretching him open. 

Ian grabbed a condom from the box abandoned by Mickey's right hand not breaking away and attempted to open it one handedly. He pulled back with a glare at the small plastic foil. 

"Shit." Mickey laughed at him and opened it for him before rolling the condom on Ian's dick whilst Ian's mouth worked on his neck with his fingers still inside of Mickey's ass. Once the condom was on, Ian went back to Mickey's lips and positioned himself pulling his fingers out. Mickey whined at the loss of contact but it was followed with a gasp as Ian slid into him. He kept on kissing Mickey to get him to relax as he pushed forward but all the Milkovich man could concentrate on was how right it felt for Ian to be inside him again. It wasn't the same as it was all those years ago but it was. It was different because they were different. It was the same because their bodies fit so well together. It was heartbreaking because it was full of memories. It was wonderful because it was the best feeling in the world and Mickey never wanted it to stop. He started rocking his hips indicating to Ian that he was okay to move as he was giving Mickey time to adjust. But the older man could sense that he was straining himself to not go too fast just yet. And that just made him harder. 

As Ian slowly picked up the pace, he stroked himself still kissing Ian's mouth. They could kiss for-fucking-ever because it felt right. It felt incredible. It made Mickey's toes curl up and it made Ian's arms flex in the same way when Ian did his pull ups. Ian put his hand over Mickey's and they jacked him off together as Ian's speed increased and he started to slam into Mickey. The Milkovich man felt a familiar sensation build up in his cock as Ian pushed in farther and farther. The bed was hammering against the wall but neither of them stopped for a moment to worry about the stupid mattress. Mickey made a whining noise as Ian's cocked started hitting his prostate. 

"Fuck, I'm gonna--" Ian cut him off mid sentence to kiss him again not caring that Mickey was about to warn him about getting jizz on his stomach. Mickey dug his free hand into the back of Ian's neck and his hips bucked upwards as he came in spurts. The white substance erupted from his cock in the biggest quantity Mickey has ever produced and Ian just kept on ramming into him, prodding at Mickey's sensitive bud all the way throughout his orgasm and even after Mickey still saw white stars behind his eyes. 

Ian shortly followed by coming inside of the Milkovich with choked noises that sounded like whimpers and bit Mickey's bottom lip so hard, Mickey was sure there was blood. But he didn't give a fuck. Because he was just royally fucked. 

Ian slumped against Mickey flattening him and Mickey's cum in between them still kissing Mickey. They both probably had beard stubble on their faces from rubbing them together for so long. Mickey felt his entire body aching pleasantly buzzing with content.

"I wanna kiss you for like ever." Ian murmured when he pulled his now soft dick out of Mickey, their foreheads pressing against each other. "I don't even need to breathe. I just need to keep on kissing you." Mickey chuckled and run his jizz covered hand over Ian's arm.

"Fucking queer." He muttered and licked his bottom lip. Not missing Ian's now green eyes following the movement. He smirked to himself and nipped at Ian's mouth which reacted immediately but Mickey pulled away. "Shower, Gallagher. I thought we still had that fucking date." Ian grinned at him.

"I'm sure Debbie will understand if I ditch her just this once." Mickey huffed and pushed Ian back so he would get up. He looked around for his sweats but they somehow fucking disappeared. 

"As if I need another reason for the little brat to hate me. Where the fuck are my pants?" Ian leaned back on the bed and just watched Mickey. "Yo, you gonna get your ass up?"

"Nope." Ian said unconcerned and Mickey glared at him. "I'm not leaving this bed, Mick." His voice defiant.

"There's jizz all over you." Ian shrugged.

"As long as it your jizz, I don't care."

"That's really fucking gay."

"Like you."

"Fuck you."

"Just did." Ian smirked smugly at him and Mickey couldn't help the small smile that escape him. He looked around and found the stiff shirt from last night. He wiped his stomach and his hand before throwing it at Ian's head who laughed catching it easily wiping himself off and taking the condom off. Mickey grabbed it from the redhead as he looked around for a trash can and went into the kitchen. He threw the condom out and looked in the fridge feeling hungry. He grabbed two cokes and some left over pizza before Ian came out of the room. 

And that was when Yev and Mandy came in.

"Hey, Da...." Yev's words died as he took in the sight of both his father and his best friend's brother stark naked standing in the living room. There was an awkward silence as three Milkoviches and one Gallagher didn't move. Mickey frozen in horror, Ian frozen in surprise, Yev frozen in trauma of knowing his father engaged in sexual activity and Mandy in...anger? Mickey blinked as he took in his sister's face. _'The fuck is wrong with her?'_ He thought to himself. She put her hand over Yev's eyes but the damage was done. Yev was going to need some serious therapy.

"PUT." Mandy seethed at Mickey and Ian. "SOME FUCKING CLOTHES ON." Mickey pushed Ian back into his room shutting the door after he abandoned the food and drinks. Ian quickly fumbled around putting his jeans back on before they both realised his shirt and his coat were in the living room.

"Fuck." Ian said in a hushed tone. "I'm not going out there. She looked like she was going to shred us."

"Dude. If we don't go out there, she's gonna come in here." Mickey replied. Ian debated the choices for a moment before he dejectedly moved to the door. Just as Mickey was about to open it, he pulled him back and kissed him quickly. Mickey smiled at the taller man, his hand grazing over the hickey. "You mine, Gallgher?" He asked. His heart beating fast and his stomach clenching nervously even though he knew the answer. Ian bumped his nose and grinned at him. His eyes shining brightly.

When they were sitting on the couch five minutes later, properly dressed with Yev in his room, they found out why Mandy was so angry.

"You two fucking fags get together by your fucking selves and what?! Not even tell me?! I SLAVE FOR OVER TEN FUCKING YEARS TO BRING YOU BACK FUCKING TOGETHER AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET?!" She shrieked in a shrill voice, her blonde hair flying crazily around her red face. Mickey rubbed his bottom lip that did indeed have a small scab forming already from Ian's teeth and Ian pulled his other hand into his lap inconspicuously. "IAN HAS A FUCKING HICKEY! WERE YOU TWO EVER PLANNING ON TELLING ME THAT YOU WERE BACK IN A FUCKING RELATIONSHIP?! YOU TWO BETTER NOT FUCK THIS UP AGAIN! BECAUSE I WILL LOSE MY SHIT FOR REAL AND KILL YOU BOTH AND ADOPT YEV AS MY OWN AND I WILL CACKLE AS I FUCKING ARE YOU HOLDING HANDS?!" She screeched as she noticed and Mickey winced at the volume.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Mandy! This ain't about you! Back the fuck off!" He yelled at her not removing his hand from Ian's. In fact, he tightened his grip and Ian leaned his head forward trying to hide his smile.

"OH BUT IT FUCKING IS!" Mandy went back on her rampage. "The last time you two pussies broke up, I didn't see my nephew for fucking YEARS! If you're going back into doing this, do it fucking right! Because there is no way in hell I am letting you and Yev go ever again!" She yelled and stormed out of the apartment slamming the door shut. 

"Bitch got control issues." Mickey murmured staring at the door after her.

"She's right though, Mick." Ian said sounding serious. "I don't want to break up. I want to be with you. I don't want you to leave." Mickey drew circles with his thumb into Ian's hand. 

"I don't plan to."

"Good." Ian grinned. "Because I'm gonna woo you." Mickey snorted.

"You gonna woo me. The fuck, Gallagher?

"I'm gonna woo you, Mickey Milkovich. I'm gonna prove to you that we are worth it. And you're not even gonna see it coming." Ian pecked him on the cheek and walked backwards towards the bedroom grinning. Mickey thought it was useless of Ian to try and woo him when he was so fucking gone on him already. He looked over at Yev's door which was closed and he heard loud music coming from it. He looked back to Ian who was standing in the doorway understanding on his face and he came back onto the couch. "Wanna watch TV?" Mickey nodded feeling grateful and turned the idiot box on. Overall, this was the best first date Mickey Milkovich has ever been on. Especially when Ian grabbed his hand again and Yev came out of his room an hour later to watch a movie with them. But Ian left in the evening to go home and take his meds asking Yev if it would be okay if he came over tomorrow. 

Yev stared at him for a moment.

"As long as I don't see your penis again." He deadpanned and Mickey for the first time ever saw his sister in his son.

"I promise." Ian agreed sincerely and Yev nodded in acceptance. Ian gave Mickey a quick kiss at the door and quietly said to expect a lot of interesting texts. Mickey came back on the couch and sat next to his son with the dopiest grin.

"Dad. You two didn't have sex here, right?" Yev asked sounding unsure. Mickey rationalized that a blow job wasn't **exactly** sex.

"No. We um...we just made out." 

"Thank God." There was silence for a moment. "D'you think Ian will help me make spaghetti tomorrow? I wanna be a chef for a day."

Thank fuck for Saturdays.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will go up either Wednesday night or Thursday morning as I'm going to be pretty busy this week. But I hope this satisfied you guys for those few days.
> 
> Love you all. You're all beautiful people that I adore with my whole heart.


	16. I Bleed When I Fall Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, this is unbeta'd as well. And I didn't even read over it so there may be some mistakes.
> 
> Non-explicit mention of sex and insecure Mickey with a dash of jealousy.
> 
> I had the entire fic finished but it sucked so I had to rewrite everything till it fit in well with what I like.
> 
> Characters are OOC. Love you peeps.

The next day, Mickey woke up feeling out of touch with reality. He wasn't sure that yesterday's events really happened. He wasn't sure if Ian and him got back together and he wasn't sure if the phantom touch lingering on his skin from Ian's fingers was just a really vivid and excellent dream or if it was a real memory. The top corner of his phone was blinking indicating that he had an unread text and he reached out for it fumbling a few times with a passcode. He had seven texts. Two were from his sister telling him he was a shit head. One from Joey that was clearly a drunk texts talking about the importance of rain forests with too many mistakes for even Mickey to decypher. And the last four were from Ian. Mickey read those last with a small smile on his face.

_23:09 Just got home. Fiona is glaring at me and Jimmy is laughing. Apparently Lip was here when Mandy came over livid and screamed about us. Something about scarring Yev for the rest of his life._

_23:10 Mickey? You asleep?_

_23:11 Fine. I'll let you ignore me for now. But further ignorance shall not be taken lightly, Milkovich. I have army training. I know how to take a guy down under a second. And not in the good way. Goodnight, Mickey._

_10:03 Morning, Mick. Quick question. Does Yev like cake? I'm going to try and buy his love with cake. I know you like carrot cake but they don't have any. Pathetically tragic, I know. Don't cause a shit storm._

Mickey felt something warm spread over his chest. It was real. Everything that happened yesterday, really did happen. He quickly typed up a reply.

_10:04 he likes vanilla & chocolate but trust me, i tried to buy his affection and he ended up throwing the cake at my face when i was asleep, what shitty shop doesn't have carrot cake?_

_10:05 Okay. I'm gonna try and not get cake nightmares. What time should I come over?_

_10:06 probably later, like around two or sumfin, wanna spend some time with him before_

_10:06 Okay, two it is. Is it wrong that I'm really nervous?_

_10:07 its fucking gay but it aint wrong, later firecrotch_

He got up and went into the bathroom taking a piss and walking out to find Yev in the kitchen doing something suspicious and swearing. Mickey could smell something burn as well.

"What are you doing?" He asked his son who jumped startled and looked at him with a guilty expression on his face.

"I was...PANCAKES!" Yev yelled exasperated. "I wanted pancakes! And I was trying to make them! But it didn't work! And Liam makes good pancakes and I can't make pancakes!" Tears fell from the small boy's eyes. "I miss my best friend, dad." Mickey walked over to his son and turned the stove off. Yev moved to the couch and buried his face in his hands. "He doesn't even want to talk to me." He sobbed. Mickey sat down next to him and hugged him tight. "It's all my fault. He hates me and it's all my fault." Mickey held his son for a while in silence. He didn't know what to say. Yev didn't just lose someone he had feelings for, he lost his friend. Mickey never really had friends. He didn't know the kind of pain his son was going through.

He wanted to make it better.

He didn't want his son to be hurting like this. He didn't know what to do.

Yev cried into his chest quietly clutching onto his father.

"I miss him." Yev said after a while. Mickey patted his back and kissed the top of his head.

"I know, bud." Mickey whispered tightening his hold on Yev. "I can't make them as good as Liam but I know how to make pancakes." Yev nodded but they didn't pull away for a while. And Mickey didn't dare to break the hug till Yev was perfectly content with doing so.

Their pancakes turned out to be pretty good. Really sweet and big. Very round. They didn't talk much whilst the batter was on the pan, instead settling on comfortable silence. Yev even did a few of his own after he watched Mickey do it a few times. They sat at the table and ate them satisfied.

"Dad?" Yev asked. His eyes still red but no more tears threatening to fall. "Is Ian going to be my stepdad?" Mickey nearly choked on his pancake at the bluntness of the question.

"Uh...we're kind of...I don't know. I like Ian. A lot. And I'm planning on having a relationship with him. You okay with that?"

"I don't really know him, you know. Does he make you happy?" Mickey thought about it. He thought about having Ian stay over, waking up next to Ian, drinking with Ian, fighting with Ian, sharing Yev moments with Ian. He thought about that warm feeling in his chest he got because of Ian. He thought about the royal fucking he did with Ian.

"He...he makes me want to use the buddy system." Mickey said as a way of explanation. His son looked baffled. "He makes me happy. He makes me sad. He makes me...feel. A lot. But I want to be with him. I love him. And I would like it if you'd be okay with him." Yev shrugged.

"He's not Charlie. That's a plus in my book." He muttered underneath his breath. "Can I ask him about stuff?"

"Sure, whatever."

"Do I **have** to like him?"

"No." Mickey's voice was firm. "You don't have to like him. If you're not comfortable with him, I'll keep my relationship separate. You don't have to do anything you don't want to, Yev." His eleven year old son nodded and smirked up at his father.

"Does that mean homework as well?"

"Sneaky little bastard." Mickey chuckled before he sobered up. "Hey, what is going on with your friends from school? They're not coming over anymore?" Yev darkened at the mention of his school mates.

"I kinda told them to eff off. They were saying stuff about gays that pissed me off. And they called Liam the 'r' word. They're just jerks." Yev stabbed his pancake with his knuckles as he mumbled. "I don't need people like that in my life."

"But Yevvy, the whole point of moving here is so that you could make friends." Yev looked at him with wide eyes.

"I thought that it was to be closer to aunt Mandy."

"That too."

"So are we gonna move back now that I've lost all my friends?" Yev seemed terrified at the prospect and Mickey ruffled his hair.

"Nah." He grinned at his son. "I'm good here. Things will work out, Yev. It's just gonna take a shit load of energy."

After they washed the dishes, they sat in front of the TV watching a random movie that Yev liked. At that moment Mickey was willing to give Yev anything he wanted. But when the little boy brought out his homework as they sat on the couch he got a familiar feeling of despair inside of him. It was LA all over again. Yev just threw himself into work whenever he was low and even though it reflected well on his academic career, Mickey was more worried about his son's emotional state. Fuck education. He debated whether or not he should think about getting Yev to see a specialist but quickly dismissed the thought. If there was anyone in the Milkovich family that should see a shrink, it would have to be him and Mandy at the top of the line. Iggy and Tony second. When afternoon came, Mickey's stomach was regretting the pancakes as it was trembling with nerves. He didn't know why but Ian had a way of breaking him even without being there.

There was a rapid knock at the door and when Mickey shot up from the couch to get it, Yev snorted. Mickey glared at his son and regretted not putting on anything nicer to dress up for the redhead but when he opened the door, the thought disappeared from his head.

Ian was standing with three plastic bags in each hand, his left rising up to knock again and a paper bag in between his teeth. Mickey copied his son's snort and grabbed the bag out of Ian's mouth before letting the man in. He didn't notice that Ian had a duffle bag on the back of his hip until the man walked past him into the kitchen. Ian made a noise at Yev who nodded weakily staring at the Gallagher with wide eyes. Mickey closed the door and followed him.

"You planning on moving in or something?" He asked the redhead that put the bags down on the counter. Ian grinned at him and placed a peck to his cheek.

"All in good time. Hi, Yev. I got a lot of shit. Most of it is useless. There's stuff to make crepes, pizza, there's chocolate cake, there's red velvet cake, there's burgers, there's so much crap here." He murmured staring at the bags.

"You got any veggies?" Yev asked from the couch.

"Oh my God." Ian looked terrified at Mickey. "I didn't bring any vegetables." Mickey couldn't help but laugh at the dramatic way he said it.

"Oh man. You just lost a point." Yev shook his head. "And you didn't even have any yet. So you're in the negatives." Ian, horrified, stared between the two Malkoviches. "You two could have had a future. Now that you don't have my approval, this will end in disaster." Mickey pinched the bridge of his nose as Yev took a deep breath. "YOU COULD HAVE HAD IT A--!!"

"YEV!" Mickey cut his son's incredible performance short. Yev stopped mid sound and grinned like an evil little child.

"You're welcome." Mickey turned to Ian ignoring his son. And the redhead looked as if he didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Mickey decided to distract him.

"What's with the duffle bag?" Ian's cheeks went red as he avoided Mickey's eyes.

"I was thinking that maybe I could, I don't know, stay for the night or something?" He rubbed the back of his neck and started to unpack the groceries. He looked so right in that moment. In Mickey's kitchen. "I got beer." Mickey grinned and crowded him against the counter.

"A man after my own heart, huh?" Mickey smirked up at Ian who was frozen at the dark haired man's behaviour. He placed his hands gently on Mickey's hips and smiled nervously.

"That's the idea." He glanced in Yev's direction before bending down and nipping at Mickey's bottom lip.

"I want to make pizza." Yev said walking into the kitchen and elbowing them away from the counter looking through the groceries. "Is it hard? I don't care. I want to make pizza. With lots of cheese. I think we have cheese in the fridge." Ian seemed to be surprised at the lack of caring from Yev about the two of them kissing so openly but Mickey just broke away and opened the fridge.

"I don't know, that cheese is like five days old." Yev shrugged as he took the block of yellow from his father's hand.

"As long as it's not mouldy, it should be fine to use on pizza."

The kitchen was too small for the three of them so Mickey sat at the table and watched as Ian and Yev effortlessly got along. Yev seemed to be feeling better as he teased Ian constantly which made the redhead freeze all the time and got a chuckle from Mickey each time but he did make sure that Yev spared him a couple of times.

Not as soon as he'd have liked, Mickey was joined at the table with the two and a very large pizza with tons of toppings. Ian passed him a beer as he sat next to him, opting for a coke for himself and Yev.

"Transformers is on at seven." Yev said excited. "Can we watch that?" Mickey shrugged in response, mouth full of pizza and Ian nodded eagerily. "So, Ian..." Mickey tensed up as his son's face became serious. "How difficult is it to live with bipolar disorder?" Mickey's shoulders were hurting with how stiff they were, he was worried what Ian's response would be like but to his surprise, the redhead just answered the young boy.

"It's not as much of a problem any more. I mean, I need to change my medication every couple of months. And my body takes ages to adjust to them. And I have to see a therapist once a month. But it used to be a lot worse. I had these manic episodes that lasted years and then depressive whereas now it's more...stabilised. I think maybe one day, I could actually stop taking my meds. Because my levels will be able to stabilise by themselves. Maybe. I'm not sure though." He seemed proud of himself. "It's still an issue. And I fall more easily into depressive episodes but they aren't as extreme as they used to be."

"Huh." Yev thought this over as he ate his slice. "So if you do ever stop taking your meds, or if you're ever ' _cured_ ' will you enlist into the army?" Mickey felt air being sucked out of him. Ian frowned.

"How d'you know--?"

"Mandy." Yev replied with a shrug.

"I think you have some misconceptions about what bipolar disorder is. And to answer your question, no. The army was a dream that I _used_ to have. My priorities are changed now."

"To what?" Yev asked straight away almost challenging Ian. There was an underlying question there, Mickey could sense it but he couldn't quite understand. Ian seemed to catch on as well.

"What are you asking, Yev?"

"Do you plan on sticking around or breaking my dad's heart again?" Mickey once again felt surprised by his son's bluntness but Yev didn't give a fuck. He stared Ian dead in the eye whilst munching on his pizza. Ian's face lit up at the question.

"I have every intention of making your dad my husband." Mickey again felt air escaping him as well as blood rushing to his face. Yev also seemed to be startled with the news but hid the surprise well.

"Kay." They sat in awkward silence for a moment. "I'm gay." Yev proclaimed. "I'm gay for Liam." Ian's eyes were as big as saucers. Mickey felt like his emotions were all over the place. "And I told him I wasn't. And I said some really horrible things. But yeah. I'm gay for him. When did you first know you were gay?" Ian sputtered out a few words before he formed an actual sentence.

"I-I-I-..." He looked to Mickey for help. The Milkovich stared back at him just as helpless. Yev had that affect on people. "I...I was um...I was twelve. But I wasn't sure. Because I was so young. I didn't actually have any idea as to what the hell was going on and I didn't know if what I was feeling was what I was supposed to be feeling and then when I was fourteen, it was confirmed. I was pretty much into dudes." Mickey felt something stir inside of him. Something that said he should shut Ian up.

"How?" Yev asked confused.

"Uh...Roger Spikey. Donkey Dick." Ian smirked to himself at the memory and Mickey identified the emotion brewing inside of him.

Jealousy.

Thou art a heartless bitch.

Yev kept asking questions about Ian's sexual and romantic past and Ian was pretty honest. He censored some stuff but all of it was enough to satisfy Yev's curiosity for the moment. As Ian spoke about all the guys he has been with, Mickey's jealousy stemmed into another emotion. He thought about all those guys Ian fucked. In his mind they were all old gross dudes like towel head and Ned but he remembered the guy from the Alibi a few months ago. He was attractive. He wasn't old. He was close to Ian's age actually and he was fucking well done. His mind then flashed to when he went to the gym and saw Ian interacting with his co-worker. That guy was hot too.

He stared at Ian as the redhead spoke freely with his son.

Why the fuck would Ian want to be with someone like _Mickey_?

He wasn't hot. He let himself go. His dick was just barely average. He was an ass to everyone except his son. He wasn't anything special. He wasn't anything good. Ian was beautiful in every single sense of the word. Mickey was not.

No one noticed the change in Mickey's mood. Not even when they sat down to watch the movie. Not even when he pulled his hand away from Ian's. Not even when he stood up to grab another beer just to get some space. Yev chatted away happily talking about how he'd love to build a transformer for himself one day. Ian asked if he could help and Yev agreed immediately happy to have an assistant.

Mickey started cleaning up after their homemade pizza just to feel something else occupy his mind but the insecurities were right there. Screaming at him loudly in his father's voice. He winced at the memory of being pistol whipped that flashed across his eyes.

Yev went to sleep soon after the movie finished as he had school the next day and Mickey chewed on the corner of his lip as him and Ian were left alone. The redhead looked at him with warm eyes and a lazy smile and Mickey wanted to melt but he couldn't. His insecurities were gnawing at him from the inside. He changed the channel looking for something to distract him but Ian put his hand on his thigh and it burnt Mickey like the sun. In the best way the sun could burn.

He forced a smile at the redhead but Ian could tell, his face contouring a frown.

"What's up?" He asked Mickey quietly.

"Nothing." Ian squeezed his thigh lightly. Mickey sighed as he leaned back against the couch. "It's just...I don't understand."

"Understand what?"

"Why you're here. With me."

"Mickey, I thought we had everything explained yesterday. I love you."

"No, I get that. I just don't get...why. Because like look at you, you're just..." Mickey felt embarrassed at the admission. "You're fucking gorgeous and I'm fucking normal. And you had like those guys that you've fucked that are fucking Abercrombie models and you're here with me. Why the fuck--?" Ian cut him off by straddling him and pressing his lips against Mickey's hard. He bit down hard on Mickey's still sore lip from yesterday and lapped the blood up with his tongue. Mickey's hands tight on Ian's hips as Ian's were in his hair. They both had trouble breathing as he pulled away.

"You are fucking beautiful, Mykhailo Milkovich." He growled. His hands holding tight to Mickey's hair as he pulled his head back so he could suck on Mickey's neck. "So fucking gorgeous." He spoke in between leaving marks on Mickey's body. Mickey held back a moan and tightened his grip on Ian, positive there would be bruises on there tomorrow morning. "With your fucking long eye lashes. Your skin, your fucking skin. And your dick. Your dick is my favourite thing in the universe." If Mickey wasn't being devoured at that moment, he was sure he'd blush like crazy. "You're everything I could ever fucking want and need, Mickey. That's why I love you. Because you're fucking perfect. And you're mine." Mickey felt the same warmth from this morning spread over his chest and he searched for Ian's lips.

They fucked in the shower to drown out the volume and because Ian had to go to work the next day. Ian had him up against the tiles kissing his back and muttering how gorgeous he was all the way through out until his orgasm. Mickey would cut anyone before admitting it even to himself but he never felt more content with himself than at that moment. Ian had a way of making him forget everything and anything. He had a way of making things right in the most fucked up ways. Mickey put on his boxers as his sweats were somewhere in a corner as Ian pulled out a small bottle of pills and his own boxers from the duffle bag.

Mickey felt giddy at the sight of that bag. He fell onto the bed, exhausted from the emotional drainage of the day and the fucking he got in the shower but he watched Ian take his pills. It did make him feel a bit safer to see it. Soon Ian crawled into bed next to him and smiled awkwardly.

"So. First night sleeping over. You wanna talk about boys?" He asked jokingly trying to ease the tension.

"Gallagher, shut the fuck up and get over here." Ian grinned and kissed him, pressing his front against Mickey's as the Milkovich wrapped his arm around Ian holding him close. He wasn't sure when they fell asleep. He just knew it was the best sleep he's had in ages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update should be on Thursday.


	17. The Audience Besides Us (AKA The Five Times + 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! So I wanted to upload the next chapter but I already had this chapter written and you guys were asking to have something from Yev's POV so here it is. 
> 
> It's so unbeta'd. So please expect mistakes. And it is quite a painful chapter and paints Yev in a really bad light.

Yevgeny Milkovich was a boy of eleven years old and very positive look on the world. That is until a jerk came into his little world and fucked things up. And sometimes, that jerk was Yev.

+1.

Yev met Liam Gallagher when he was a baby. Liam was nearly four at the time. Both boys aware of each others existence since beginning of their lives. But it wasn't till later when the two became friends.

When Yev was five he had his very first Skype call with his aunt Mandy.

She was at her best friend's house. Because she didn't have a computer at home then. Yev's daddy wasn't there. He was in the shower. Aunt Mandy was really pretty. She was as pale as Yev and his daddy. She had long black hair and there was a rainbow of colours in them. Her eyes were really pretty and blue. They always seemed to be laughing whenever she saw Yev.

But Yev loved aunt Mandy's hair the best. 

Aunt Mandy laughed when she saw him and asked where his daddy was. Yev nodded on the door to the bathroom, yelling to daddy that aunt Mandy was on the computer and daddy swore before yelling he would be there soon. When Yev came back, she wasn't at the computer anymore. A boy was. A boy who was older than him and stared curiously at Yev.

"Hi." The boy said and smiled in a nice way. Yev never had anyone smile at him like that. He smiled back.

"Hi!" He yelled. The boy smiled so wide he showed his teeth. He had a large gap in front and Yev looked fascinated. His small hand touching the screen. "Are you gonna get your big boy teeth?"

"Fuck yes." The boy responded and put his two fingers in the gap. "Lost my last ones and now I can be an adult." 

"Wow." Yev said back. "That's really cool."

"Nah. The tooth fairy never comes for them so I'm kinda stuck with my baby teeth. D'you think I should bury them and see if a teeth tree will grow?"

"That would be so cool!" Yev nodded and that's when aunt Mandy came back in the background. "I'll Skype you next week, okay? You tell me if the tree grows?" The boy nodded still smiling and disappeared as aunt Mandy hit the back of his head. Yev's daddy came out of the shower smelling of soap and put Yev in his lap as he talked to aunt Mandy. 

The boy showed up at the end of the call waving at Yev and when Yev asked his daddy who it was, his dad looked at him strange asking why.

"Because he's my friend." Yev stated tugging on his daddy's hair. It was still damp. Daddy rolled his eyes and simply replied.

"Liam."

+2.

Yev's seventh birthday was horrible. He was in a new school because in the last one there were too many bullies. His teachers always blamed him for causing trouble no matter what happened. Yev was odd to everyone. He liked to read books and play checkers. He didn't like sports or cars. He didn't like teasing girls. He liked pretty things.

Like Jessica Palmer's hair. It was so long, touching the ground. And it was as bright as the sun. He liked it.

Or Ashton Ritz' hands. They were always bruised from all the fights he got in covered in pretty shades of purple and blue and sometimes even red. 

But people thought that was odd. His dad didn't think that. 

His dad said that Yev could go to a new school and make new friends and Yev agreed. But even in his new school no one seemed to like what he liked. And soon the teasing started back up again. Yev didn't tell his dad though. He knew this new school cost a lot of money so he kept quiet. If someone ripped up his handmade comics, he didn't say anything. He could glue it back together. 

If someone threw yoghurt at his backpack, he spent time after school washing it off before he met his dad outside. 

He told Liam in secret. He swore the now ten year old to secrecy and told him of how horrible everyone was. Liam said he should go there and beat everyone up. But Yev didn't like it when people fought. It made him very uneasy.

Liam said maybe to bring sweets to school. Everyone likes sweets. But Yev had a better idea. He asked his dad if he could have a birthday party and invite people from his class. His dad agreed. 

And Yev spent the weekend making handmade invitations for everyone in his class. When Monday came he asked Mrs Treager if he could hand out his invitations. When she agreed he ran around the entire class. All the boys and girls looked at him surprised. 

He grinned feeling excited and when his birthday came, he woke up to his dad bringing him chocolate cake for breakfast. 

It was going to be the best birthday ever. Aunt Mandy called with Uncle Lip over Skype in the morning. Then Liam called and showed Yev his present which was a really funny picture of Yev with a big head but a small body. But then Carl came and ripped it in half by accident. Liam was really angry at his brother and Yev laughed but he felt sad because he wanted a sibling to have to be angry at.

When the time came for the kids to come, Yev waited patiently bubbling with excitement at the door. But when no one knocked after an hour, Yev looked at his dad biting his lip like he's seen his dad doing many other times. His dad was staring at the door worried but he tried to hide it behind a smile. 

Yev turned back to the door. 

Someone knocked and his dad shot up immediately. It was a neighbour of theirs. She had some of their mail. Yev didn't like her. She smelled like piss all the time. After she left, his dad got a phone call. 

As soon as he saw his dad's face, Yev knew.

No one was coming. 

He went into his small room and crawled up into his bed, his duvet wrapping around his nice new birthday clothes. He didn't cry. He didn't. 

His dad came next to him and hugged him tight whispering _'I'm sorry, bud.'_ over and over whilst kissing the top of his head. 

Yev then cried.

He felt so alone and so sad and no one liked him. No one. No one came to his birthday. No one ever said anything nice to him at school. It hurt a lot. Inside of Yev.

And Yev couldn't understand that. 

He couldn't understand how the inside of him could hurt so much.

He kept on crying in his dad's shirt. 

He fell asleep like that. 

When he woke up in the middle of the night, he was in his pajamas, his dad snoring lightly next to him and a bright light on the other side with Liam sleeping in his own bed. 

"Liam?" Yev asked touching the computer screen. The Gallagher boy on the other side of the country shifted in his slumber revealing a ' _Happy Birthday, Yev!_ ' hand painted sign on his shirt. Yev smiled and looked at the time. It was late. very late. His birthday was horrible. But the day after that was okay. The two boys spent it playing internet tag the entire day. His dad not even caring.

+3.

Yev was nine when his dad introduced him to Charlie. 

Yev never thought of his dad as someone's boyfriend. His dad was always by himself. And he never had anyone. 

Yev talked to Liam about Charlie. 

Charlie was very mean. And he looked mean. And his dad wasn't very interested.

He made fun of Yev's poem which Yev wrote for his dad on Father's day.

And his dad told Charlie to leave but after two weeks, Charlie was back.

He barely acknowledged Yev. 

Liam told Yev to set Charlie's shoes on fire. He went into explicit detail over how Yev should do it.

Yev spent the next fifteen minutes laughing as loud as it was possible until he was out of air and he sounded like a seal. 

Yev didn't like Charlie. He liked Liam.

+4. 

Yev had his first kiss at ten. He was walking home from school and Sabrina Majors from Mrs Rainer's class ran up to him. She started to talk to him about her favourite pop band and Yev wanted to be interested, he really did. But he never heard of that band. 

He told Sabrina so and she frowned. 

"You should really listen to them. They are really great. I have my iPod. You wanna listen?" She pulled out the small device and Yev shook his head.

"I need to get home. Got homework. I'll listen to them tonight though. I promise." She smiled brightly at him. It was nice. Not as nice when Liam smiled at him but still nice. 

Yev listened to the band and he didn't like them very much. 

He saw Sabrina at lunch walking to the library. They went into a corner to discuss the band. Yev was in the middle of his sentence when Sabrina planted a wet peck on his lips. He didn't know what to do. He remained frozen. She pulled back from him and smiled.

"I like you, Yev." She told him. Yev tried to smile back but his face was too frozen. He didn't feel anything except okay about Sabrina.

"I don't know if I like you." He said honestly. She shrugged.

"We can kiss more and see if you like that."

"Okay." Yev nodded for the lack of thought in his brain. Sabrina went back to kissing him. Yev tried his best to kiss back but he didn't know how. Their teeth were awkward against each other. 

Yev heard a gasp and the next thing he knew he was in the principal's office with his dad saying everything was going to be okay. 

He didn't tell Liam at first. He felt embarrassed and awkward. Liam didn't laugh at him. He said that kissing was something to be done with someone Yev really liked instead of with just a random person. Liam was smart that way. 

When Yev came back into school the next day, Sabrina was gone and all the other kids called him ' _Macking Yev_ ' because everyone heard what happened in the library. 

He ran away from school that day and called Liam crying from a payphone. He called him at school and he hoped Liam wouldn't hate him too much for doing that. 

Liam instead talked to him about what his day was like and he made him laugh so many times, Yev ran out of all his quarters. 

Liam was the best friend Yev could ever have.

+5.

Yev's second sleepover was the one where Yev realised that Liam was the person Yev wanted to kiss all the time.

The two boys were still awake at 4 am and Yev was talking about his new friends at school.

"They talk about things like culture and art. And one time, Jeremy actually argued with our maths teacher about the importance of math in the real life world. He made so many good points, it made a lot of sense." Liam rolled his eyes and stole the duvet from Yev's arms.

"Those idiots could tell you that the sky is really red and you'd think that would make sense." Yev gasped.

"Are you insulting my intelligence?" Liam smirked.

"I'm fucking trying to." A nice lull of silence passed between them two and Liam snuggled up to him, making sure that Yev actually was covered in the duvet. 

"You're my best friend, dude." Yev turned on his side and Liam's eyes were reflecting little lights from the window. His face was open and warm and Yev wanted to never go to sleep because if he did then this moment would end and their world wouldn't be as magical as it was right at that second. "Don't be jealous." He whispered quietly. "I'd never ditch you." Liam smiled softly.

"I know. You're my best friend too." Yev smiled back and then their mouths were lightly pressed against each other. Yev's eyes fluttered closed. This kiss was different than it was with Sabrina. Liam didn't press too hard and his mouth wasn't wet like Sabrina's. He pulled back and Liam was looking unsure. Yev bumped his nose with the other boy's and scooted next to him. Hands wrapping around each others' bodies, bringing them closer under the duvet. They didn't acknowledge the kissing but they became more affectionate with each other from that point. 

And it was going to grow into something beautiful. Because the two boys were not sure of what they were to each other in a romantic way. They were okay with that. They were okay with taking their time to figure things out. Even if it took years. 

Because there was one thing they did know.

Yevgeny Milkovich and Liam Gallagher would remain best friends together.

There couldn't be one without the other.

Till the end of time.

-1.

"I'm not retarded." Liam said angrily as he walked into Yev's house behind him.

"I know you're not. That's not what they were saying, Liam." The eleven year old sighed as the fourteen year old (almost fifteen) flopped down on the couch. "You're overreacting." Yev took off his coat and put his bag in the corner, making his way to the kitchen to put the burgers on the counter.

"I am not overreacting! Those fucking little prissy cunts were saying I was slow." 

"They were saying they were surprised that the coke episode didn't slow your intelligence."

"Exactly!" 

"They weren't calling you that word, Liam!"

"They were insulting me!" Yev rolled his eyes. "You're gonna have these punks over and for what?! So you can join in on their little heroin slumber party?!" 

"The fuck is wrong with you?!" Liam was furious and Yev tried to stifle the situation. "You're acting like a jealous freak show! Have you ever thought maybe I wanted to have friends outside of you?"

"I'm not saying that you shouldn't. I'm just saying that those guys are insensitive little rich bastards." Yev felt real anger rushing through him at the words. He knew his friends were a bit odd but so was he. He fit in with them. By calling them names, Liam was calling Yev names as well.

"Oh, I get it." Yev said quietly. "You are jealous of them because they have money and you don't. You're jealous because I'm actually going to accomplish something and you are not. I'm going to make something of myself. And you're trying to hold me back." The words were escaping his mouth without Yev processing them. He didn't feel like that. He was just trying to hurt Liam as much as possible. "You know what, _Gallagher_? Why don't you go snort some coke and get the fuck out of my face." Liam stood still, eyes red as they stared at each other. Both boys dangerously angry and hurt. Words cutting at them.

And that's when Liam threw the first punch. 

And when he left, that's when Yev realised what a fucking moron he was. 

And his little heart broke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The thing with the birthday party was inspired by ['You don't owe us anything...'](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1856266) by Enne on here.
> 
> And also, it actually happened to me. On my seventh birthday. I invited everyone in my class and no one came. But they ate the fucking sweets that I brought like it was the best thing in the world. FUCKING GITS.
> 
> Next chapter should be up on Sunday. Because I need you guys to have a little break as it is heavy packed with emotions. All sorts of emotions.


	18. Maybe I Had Said, Something That Was Wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know I said that I'd upload this tomorrow but let's face it. I got no fucking self control. None. This chapter didn't turn out as well as I would have liked but I'm okay with publishing it. Love you guys way more than ice cream. This is exciting. Only two more chapters left!
> 
> As usual, unbeta'd.

"Fuck no." Were the first two words Mickey said all day. He managed to avoid conversations with grunts and shrugs. And currently he was staring at the text he got from Ian at work. It's been almost two weeks since they've gotten back together and the Gallagher was practically living at the Milkovich household. Yev didn't seem to mind but he was busy applying to some camp that was for the rich kids. The camp tried to get some diversity and took on two kids from the poorer areas. Yev was the first in line waiting for the application and even got Lip to help him out when Mickey couldn't.

Mandy rolled her eyes but she was proud of her nephew. And Yev spent a lot of his time at hers, being the best big cousin he could ever be. Anything to distract him from the silence between him and his best friend that neither of them were willing to break. Mandy told Mickey he should force Yev to face Liam but Mickey wasn't an aggressive controlling freak like his sister so he told her to fuck off and give Yev some time.

Ian seemed to agree with Mandy. He didn't bring up the subject much around Yev but when they were in bed, he'd tell Mickey about how Liam wasn't coping all that well either.

It was annoying. Mickey told him that Yev would make his own decisions about this.

And Ian seemed to accept that at first distracted by Mickey's mouth on his dick but here was Mickey, staring at his phone at work thinking his stupid boyfriend was an imbecilic bastard.

"Everything okay?" Joey asked as he moved a box around. Mickey scratched the back of his head as he stared at the screen.

"No. No, it really fucking isn't." Joey remained silent giving Mickey space to open up. "My--Ian invited me and Yev to a family dinner tonight. At his house. With all of his fucking family." Joey raised his eyebrows.

"Well, you don't have to go if you don't want to, right?"

"This isn't about me. He's trying to fix my son and his little brother up so they can be friends again."

"That doesn't sound too bad."

"It is when I told him to leave it the fuck alone." Mickey rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. "This is what Ian does. He pulls this kind of shit all the time. Trying to make everything his fucking way. And I always fucking give in."

"Then don't." Joey said simply. Mickey looked at him. "Go to the diner because free food. Take your kid but don't let your boyfriend get his way. Be as manipulative as he can be. That's what I'd do."

"I'm not really good at that stuff. I'm more of a punch first, think later type of person."

"And he expects that, right? He expects that kind of reaction from you. So give him one that is completely unexpected." Mickey fumbled with his phone for a moment before typing up a quick reply.

_08:23 dinner sounds good, me and yev will meet you there after work_

He could feel the gears in Ian's head turning all the way from here. Ian wanted a reaction. Mickey decided to get back at him by not actually giving him one. It pissed him off that Ian was doing this but strangely, he wasn't uncomfortable with the idea of playing games. He just would have preferred the games to be more physical than that. Mickey turned back to Joey feeling smug.

"How the fuck does this shit work again?" He gestured to the boxes putting his phone back in his jeans. Joey scratched his head and took a pair of scissors.

"We gotta count all of them, process them on the sheet, then scan every single one using the age old fucking scanner into the system and put them in the archives on the fucking system before we sign the box off to shipment." Mickey grimaced.

"That's so fucking boring."

"We could always get high."

"Sure, you got some on you?" Joey gave him an incredulous look. "You really gotta do a different voice when you're throwing sarcasm my way." Joey snorted.

"Take the boy out of the south side..." He trailed off staring gob smacked at the content of the box. "You're shitting me."

"What?" Mickey went around the table to see a box full of cups. With photos of naked women on them. "Now that's just gross. I promised myself I would not see any vaginas after my wife got dead."

"I promised myself I wouldn't see any vaginas after I came out of my mother's. Wait, you were married to a woman?" Mickey shrugged closing up the box.

"Yev's mother. Long ass fucking story." He taped the box up. "What the fuck do we do with this?"

"Pass it onto Becky, I think. She deals with crap like this." Mickey nodded and took the box as Joey opened another one. The day passed like that with four boxes full of porno cups and by the time Mickey got home, he forgot all about going to the Gallaghers for dinner. He only remembered when Yev said there was spaghetti in the fridge. It seemed sometimes that the kid could fucking cook anything.

Mickey stood frozen in the living room as his son asked him what was wrong.

"The Gallaghers invited us for dinner. Tonight." He pulled his phone out to see a bunch of texts from Ian. "I know you really don't want to go there but Yev please come with me. I can't take them all on at once." Yev paled at the thought but nodded and grabbed his coat.

"You should probably change into something nicer, dad." He muttered tying up his scarf. Mickey checked himself over and quickly changed into his nice shirt. His jeans were fine. The Gallaghers probably wouldn't dress up either. Yev nodded as he saw him, all bundled up and ready to go with a book under his arm. It was clear he wasn't planning on engaging with anyone that night. Not that Mickey could blame him.

They walked quickly to the Gallagher household. Almost March upon them and the remaining ice was water under their feet with the weather warming up but not quite enough to stop the wind cutting through their bones. Mickey held his hand out towards Yev who took it as another source of warmth when his teeth chattered. They got to the beaten up house already hearing the happy banter from outside. Mickey knocked loudly with Yev in front of him blowing air at his hands. The door opened immediately to reveal Carl Gallagher smirking like the little psychotic shit Mickey remembered him to be.

"The fuck you want?" Carl asked but his voice was laced with bitter pleasure telling he knew exactly the reason behind Mickey coming.

"Fuck off, dip shit." Mickey said and pushed Yev right past him into the living room that cheered at the sight with Mickey in tow. The Milkovich man saw the Gallaghers all crowded around the kitchen table with their respected partners. Most of them were drunk as hell. Carl walked past him with that shit eating grin as Mickey took off his coat putting it on the staircase railing with Yev's and walked into the kitchen, his son trailing behind him unsure. Ian smiled at him lazily as they took their seats next to him.

Mickey couldn't help himself. Everyone was watching him with the corner of their eye. He could feel it. Debbie, Fiona, Jimmy, Mandy, Vee and even fucking batshit Sheila. The other eye was stuck to Yev. But Liam was at the other side of the table, eyes glued to his food. He looked miserable. There was a moment of silence as the two Milkoviches settled and Mickey couldn't take it anymore. He grabbed Ian's face and pressed their mouth together. Ian startled at first didn't respond but when he did, Mickey broke away not wanting to give Ian the satisfaction. He hid his smirk at Ian's whine.

Everyone, except for Yev who was used to random displays of affection by his father towards his boyfriend, had their jaws slightly opened in response as to what just happened. Kevin grinned at Mickey and turned to one his kids.

"Now that's character development. None of that bullshit you watch." The chatter resumed after everyone got over the initial shock but it stopped rapidly when Ian took Mickey's hand and entwined their fingers without the other man ripping his arm off.

Mickey acted as if nothing bothered him. Although it was a bit difficult to eat with one hand. Yev wolfed down his chicken and went to reading ignoring everyone. Mickey sat in pleasant silence only speaking up if he asked asked and given space to reply. He should have brought a book like his son. Or at least something to occupy himself with. When he noticed Liam stealing looks at Yev, he pulled out his phone and started to text Joey.

_18:57 why did u tell me this was a good idea again?_

_18:58 Blaaaah. Go awayyyyy and make your boyfriend squirm. I'm having a Breaking Bad marathon over heeeeeeeeia._

_18:59 fucking hell, you're annoying_

_19:00 I'm increeedible. Get lost._

_19:00 fine loser_

Mickey put his phone away and found Ian staring at him with narrowed eyes. Mickey didn't like that look on Ian. It made him uncomfortable.

"The fuck, Gallagher?" He said low enough for only Ian to hear who shrugged in response.

"Nothing." He turned to Jimmy who was asking his opinion about something Mickey didn't really understand. Sheila asked Mickey about his job.

"It's all right. Nothing special." He leaned across the table and grabbed a salt shaker still holding Ian's hand with his other. "How's life, Liam?" He felt Yev tense up next to him and the conversations dulled as everyone waited for an answer. Liam stared at Mickey for a second only glancing at Yev for a moment.

"Pretty good. Thinking of going out for basketball. Been practicing a lot." Yev snorted next to Mickey. "You got a problem, _Milkovich_?" Yev put down his book and looked defiantly right back at the Gallagher boy's face.

"Well, I can't understand why someone would try out for a sport _they_ hate."

"Maybe I don't hate it. Maybe _some people_ just don't know me as well as they fucking think." Yev sighed and Mickey could see how similar his son was to Ian.

"You wrote an entire essay as to why basketball is stupid."

"And you said you would be my best friend. Looks like we're both liars." Liam said nonchalantly and Yev stood up, narrowing his eyes.

"You don't know what it's like. They accept me for who I am." Liam also stood up.

"Boo freaking hoo. You had crappy school experiences. Everyone fucking does. Get over it and stop being a dick." Liam trotted upstairs and Mickey was biting his lip like there was no tomorrow worried with what he was meant to say. But before he had a chance to say anything, his son ran after Liam upstairs. Mickey stared flabbergasted at the spot Yev just emptied.

"Uhm...." Ian spoke unsurely. "I don't...Maybe this wasn't the best idea."

"You think?" Mickey barely hissed but he didn't miss the way Ian flinched. "Sorry." He muttered. "Didn't mean that." He got up and held a hand out to a surprised Ian who wasn't sure of what to do. The rest of the family staring. The Ball twins being the only two at the table not giving a fuck. "I wanna go home, fucker." Ian stood up so quickly and took Mickey's hand in his own that his chair fell over.

"Home. Yeah." Ian agreed and moved towards the door. "What about Yev?" He stopped mid way putting Mickey's scarf on the Milkovich man who didn't mind as much as his face showed. Mickey glanced at the stairs when he heard a door slam upstairs and his son running outside without his coat, fury painted on his face.

"Pretty sure he's on board." Mickey said simply and quickly pulling Ian behind, grabbing his son's coat in the meantime. The Gallagher just waved at the rest of his family and went with Mickey on the Yev chase.

The small boy was running quickly in the direction of the L tracks. Mickey felt his lungs die as he tried to catch up to him but he couldn't see him when he got to the tracks. The night clouding everything.

"Yev!" He called out, breathing heavily. Ian next to him. "Shit. Ian."

"Relax." Ian said quietly but Mickey could sense the rising panic that Mickey was already on high level with. Ian hit his elbow and pointed to a small bundle behind a column slightly moving. Mickey breathed a sigh of relief as it was indeed his son and crouched next to him. Yev was sobbing into his arms without a sound. The only way Mickey could tell was by the way his shoulders were shaking. Ian stood off to the side as Mickey put Yev's coat around his son. Yev didn't make any noise of acknowledgement but he leaned into his father's touch.

"I'm ho-hor-horrible." Yev's voice was muffled. Mickey sighed again as he searched for the right words.

"Sometimes...Sometimes it's difficult. Losing people." He heard Ian shuffle slightly. "But it isn't the end of the world. Sometimes it can be....a good thing. Because you got space in your life for something new."

"I don't want anything new. I want Liam." His voice was small but defiant.

"What happened between the two of you?" Mickey asked. Yev looked up at him from his arms.

"I basically chose the kids from school over him. And he can't get over that. And I get it. Because it's like-like he wasn't enough." Yev wiped his nose. "But it wasn't like that. He is everything. But this was the first time I've ever had any friends in school." Mickey didn't miss the past tense of his school friends.

"I think he will get over it if you keep trying to get him back." Ian said suddenly appearing on the other side of Yev, staring at his feet glancing at Mickey who nodded giving him the go ahead. "It's difficult. And you should prepare yourself for a lot of rejection. But he wants to be your friend again."

"How do you know?" Yev asked not convinced.

"Because us Gallaghers stick to people for life. Especially the Milkoviches." Mickey had to roll his eyes at how freaking cheesy Ian was being. "And he's been really sad since you two had your fight. Very un-Liam like." Yev looked down at his knees. "Why don't we go home where there is no chance of pneumonia? Besides, you could probably use some sleep about now, huh?" Yev nodded absentmindedly and stood up putting his coat on properly. Their walk was quiet. Mickey's hand brushing against Ian's by accident, holding Yev's hood as the boy led them back to the apartment.

Once home, Yev took a quick shower and went to sleep. Mickey hugged him tight for a goodnight and after a second of deliberation, Yev gave Ian a high five. Which didn't go unnoticed by Mickey but he didn't say anything. He just grabbed his charger and his phone. Ian hovering on the other side of the bedroom.

"I didn't mean for that to happen." He said. Mickey looked at him surprised plugging his phone into his charger and setting it down.

"I didn't think you did." Ian's face was contoured into a grimace.

"What is wrong with you?" Mickey frowned and looked himself over.

"What do you mean?"

"You're not....being you. I thought you'd be going crazy over a dinner with my family like you usually have done in the past at the suggestion. You actually were polite. You were into fucking PDA, Mickey. And what was with the texting? And then talking to Liam? And having a conversation with Sheila? You weren't you." Ian tried to not shout but his voice was getting a bit louder with each sentence. "You didn't-You were different! And I want to know why?" Mickey tilted his head to the side.

"So what you're saying is that you didn't get the reactions you wanted. Am I getting that right, Gallagher?" Ian nodded and Mickey smirked smugly. "Fucking yeah, you didn't." He took his shirt off as he found his sweats in the piled up sheets neither of them ever did. "Sheila was talking my head off about me going back into glazing. Which I want to do. So yeah. Liam is a good kid. Forgive me for liking him. Unlike Carl. By the way, how the fuck did that fucking psycho get into college? A _'fuck shit up'_ scholarship?" He shook his head as Ian stared at him confused. "Fiona's food was pretty decent. Weren't gonna say it fucking weren't. Was texting Joey when I got bored. Not that I gotta explain shit to you."

"The fuck is that meant to mean?" Mickey walked over to Ian and kissed him slowly. His fingers looped in the waistband of the redhead's jeans. Mickey pulled back but he didn't pull away.

"Just that the next time you try to pull shit like this, Gallagher, you ain't getting the fuck away with it." He said sternly and dead serious. Ian's eyes widened. "Yeah. I ain't as fucking dumb as you think. I know you were trying to get Liam and Yev back together when I specifically told you to leave it the fuck alone. And you've been trying to get me to a Gallagher family dinner even back when we were kids."

"Didn't think you'd remember." Ian mumbled, his eyes down to Mickey's lips. "But what was with the PDA?" Mickey shrugged.

"We're a couple. I'm okay with some stuff. Like PDA in front of your family. And mine. And Kev and his women. And Batshit Sheila." Ian beamed at him. "What?"

"We're a couple. We're boyfriends." Mickey rolled his eyes but tightened his hold on Ian who suckled down on his neck. "Say it." He growled dangerously low.

"We're boyfriends." Mickey murmured closing his eyes. "And you don't pull this shit ever fucking again."

"Promise." Ian whispered and captured Mickey's lips with his own.

-.-

In mid March, Mickey gets home on Wednesday to find his sister, his niece and his son sitting in the living room playing with the baby. Izzy looked up at him with big blue eyes and made a pleased _'gah!'_ noise flapping her hands around before putting her toe in her mouth. Mandy tssked at that and pulled the socked foot out of her daughter's mouth. 

"You'll get cotton stuck in your throat that way." She murmured at the six months old baby and tickled her belly lightly. "And you already gave me a scare. No more hospital trips."

"Not for her anyways." Mickey said and got a rattle thrown at him by his sister which his little niece found amusing judging from the laugh.

"I was talking about the camp to aunt Mandy. They get some really great guest speakers there. Really high end. Poetry camps have bad reputations bit this one seems to be really good." Mickey was glad to see his son get excited about something again. "I really hope they accept me. I mean, I know the chances are low but it would be a great opportunity. Don't you agree, Izzy?" The baby gurgled and stuck her small fist in her mouth this time. "I'm gonna take that as a yes." Mickey crossed to the kitchen thinking of what to make for dinner when Ian walked through the door. He didn't have his own set of keys yet but the door wasn't locked. And Mickey was seriously considering giving the man keys. Just not so soon.

"I got ribs!" The redhead yelled grinning wide at everyone.

"I don't eat ribs." Yev answered disappointed.

"I got you barbecue chicken wings. All yo yourself." Ian said with a small waver in his voice but when Yev seemed appeased, Ian's grin came back. "What's up losers?" He went into the kitchen and kissed Mickey's cheek placing the big boxes on the counter top.

"Aw. You two are so cute and puppy like. So domestic." Mandy cooed but when Mickey flipped her off she went back to her normal self. "Yev was telling me more about the camp. Who are these people again? Because I wasn't listening. Actually dont tell me. I don't give a fuck. I'm just here to pray for you."

"You think I need God, aunt Mandy?"

"We all need God at some point in our lives." Mandy smirked. "I mean we're all going to hell anyways, might as well try to pretend to have some morals." Yev was about to respond but someone knocked on the door. Mickey looked around not sure as to who could be knocking. Ian looked just as confused with hands full of paper plates. Yev opened the door to reveal a Liam Gallagher. 

A very disheveled Liam Gallagher. 

"What....?" Yev made out.

"Can we talk?" Liam asked quietly and when Yev nodded, the two went into his bedroom. It took ten whole seconds before all the adults ran to the young Milkovich's door and tried to hear what was said. 

"Fuck, Mandy, get your fucking elbow away from my nose."

"Ian, I swear your fucking limbs are like fucking everywhere."

"Mick, I love your ass but right now you need to fucking move it."

They weren't as quiet and as subtle as they thought because Yev opened the door and glared at them. Mickey and Ian walked away but Mandy clearly didn't know what the meaning of privacy was and kept on standing next to the door. 

"Mands, leave it the fuck alone." Mickey said moving his niece onto his lap. She giggled as he made a funny face at her. "Your mom's a fucking nuthead." She laughed again and placed a hand onto his cheek. "Yeah, you already know that." Mickey bent down and blew on her nose which made her laugh even more. He pushed her hair back, it was very thin and soft. He secretly hoped that she wouldn't die it like Mandy. Mickey looked at his sister who still was trying to hear anything in Yev's bedroom. He grinned as she cussed at the door and held up Izzy to see how ridiculous her mother was. "See. Fucking crazy, ey?" She patted his cheek and pulled at his hair. "No. We're not pulling at uncle Mickey's hair. I have never hit a baby but I'm not above trying it." She giggled and stopped pulling at it but kept on patting his cheek. Mickey sighed and let his niece use him as a baby punching bag. "Yo, Gallagher, pass me some ribs. Baby back ribs. Get it? 'Cause you're a fucking baby." He snickered at Izzy but Ian didn't respond. He looked over at his boyfriend who was staring at him with wide eyes and his mouth slightly open with a bizarre facial expression. "Jeez, Ian, you okay?" The redhead shook his head but he still had that bizarre expression painted on his face. Mickey watched him as he slowly put the ribs on the paper plates and sat next to him on the couch. "The fuck's wrong with you?"

"I...it just...m'not used to it." Ian muttered.

"Used to what?" Mickey sat Izzy down in between them as he took his plate from Ian.

"You. Doing stuff. Like this. Being a dad." Ian shrugged. "What you were like with Yev. When he was a baby. I kinda missed out on that."

"Yev was different. I was a punk. Izzy isn't mine. Thank fuck. Never wanted any kids to be honest."

"D'you think you would want any ever again?"

"Dunno." Mickey said carelessly perfectly aware of how serious Ian was. "Maybe. I mean, I didn't want Yev and now I can't ever imagine not having him in my life. If I had another fucker lying around, I could probably learn to like him. Why? You want kids?"

"I just want to know if it could be a possibility."

"Well, you got an answer to that." Mickey said and turned on the TV ignoring Ian's soft smile. "Wipe that fucking look off your face. It's so fucking gay."

"Like you."

"Like me." Mickey agreed and bit into his ribs ending the conversation. Mandy came over after a moment swearing at Mickey for getting thick fucking doors that won't let a sound through and grabbed one of the ribs off Mickey's plate at which he kicked her which amused Izzy. He told her to get her own fucking plate and she reluctantly did so. 

After an hour Liam walked out of Yev's room looking exhausted. Ian asked if he wanted him to walk him home which made the teenager smile but he shook his head and left. Yev walked out soon after that going to grab his chicken wings from the kitchen.

"Uh...hello?!" Mandy yelled startling everyone. Yev looked at her surprised. "You gonna spill or what?" Yev's features softened into a melancholic expression too old for an eleven year old. 

"All I can really say is that he's the Steve to my Bucky." Yev told them and walked back into his room.

"THE FUCK IS THAT MEANT TO MEAN?!" Mandy screeched. "That's all that fucker is leaving me with?! I wanna know what the fuck happened! Jesus fucking Christ, you guys suck. How am I supposed to live my life not knowing what is going on?" 

"Like a prostitute." Mickey suggested and got a glare.

"Fuck you. I'm taking my baby and leaving. This is no place for a nosy bitch like me." Mickey smiled happily as his sister fucked off. 

"Does that mean that they made up?" Ian asked. Mickey shrugged.

"Fuck if I know." He glanced at the door. "We're not as fucking dramatic as them, right?" 

"Right. We're more butch."

"Fucking right." Mickey grunted pleased as Ian chuckled next to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter shall be up on Monday.
> 
> And the last chapter shall be up on Wednesday. It will be my farewell to this year. 
> 
> P.S. If someone doesn't get the whole Steve&Bucky reference, it's from Captain America, two long time friends who have battled together through World War II and then...well sad things happen. But yes. They are the inspiration for Yev & Liam. 
> 
> P.P.S. If you guys don't ship Yev/Liam but ship Yev&Liam that's cool. Their friendship comes first. And that's what I'm trying to kinda show here.
> 
> P.P.P.S. I love you all. And there isn't going to be another kid in this fic. It's finished already on my laptop. There ain't gonna be a kid. But I wanted the two 'men' to kinda have a moment where they would consider it. Expanding their little family.


	19. Even When I Lose I'm Winning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains a flash forward six months.
> 
> It is full of fluff.
> 
> Like so fucking much.
> 
> Because I just want them to be happy.
> 
> And I'm gonna make them fucking happy.
> 
> Characters are OOC. 
> 
> But so much fluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuff.
> 
> Unbeta'd because how else do I fucking exist?
> 
> WARNING: CONTAINS SMUT

Mickey Milkovich was smoking through his entire pack of smoked in one evening. He shouldn't have said yes. Mickey didn't date. Dating was for those stupid people. And now he was waiting in front of a stupid fucking restaurant, smoking like there was no tomorrow. Barely lit up once cigarette and inhaled before lighting up another and stubbing the old one out with his shoe. He was sure the waiters were giving him dirty looks from the inside.

It was a pretty posh place.

But Mickey was too stressed out to give a fuck.

It was Ian and Mickey's first date. In a fucking restaurant. And it was their six month anniversary. And they were doubling with Mandy and Lip. And Mickey was going to ask Ian a very big question. Well, if Ian ever fucking showed up.

Mickey looked around for either his sister or one of the Gallaghers to no avail. He lit up another cigarette and checked his phone. A text from Joey telling him about how he fucking didn't sign up for September heat when he moved to Chicago. A text from Yev.

Mickey got him a phone because Yev started middle school this month. It wasn't anything fancy. Just a basic phone that could text and make calls. Cheap as hell. But Yev held it to his heart beaming at his father like it was the best gift in the universe.

He didn't get into that poetry camp and Mickey felt it was really unfair because Yev worked his ass off for that piece of shit. So with Ian's suggestion, he didn't go and fuck shit up but got his kid a phone just in case.

Yev's text said that Mandy just left Izzy with him and Liam and that she should be there soon. Mickey rolled his eyes. When he called his sister half an hour ago, she claimed she was on her way. On her way to the Gallagher house instead of to the fucking restaurant.

Mickey didn't like the idea of leaving Yev by himself but when Liam suggested that the kids would sleep over at Fiona's, he couldn't find any reason to not go out. And he tried. He tried really hard. But Ian was very convincing when he jerked him off in the morning whispering things in Mickey's ear that made Mickey shiver.

His phone buzzed in his hand. He looked down to see a picture of Lip dressed as Dr Frank from Rocky Horror. Mandy convinced him to wear it for the 4th July fireworks. She dressed herself as Morticia from the Addams Family. Hair back to black. Little Izzy was dressed as hot dog. Mandy was really going all out with this whole being a family thing.

"Where the fuck are you?" Mickey growled into the phone earning looks from random peasants.

"Me and Ian are going to be a little bit late." Lip's voice was muffled and the volume was off balance. As if he was running. "We kinda got caught doing something we shouldn't. So we're gonna be late."

"The fuck?" Mickey groaned and took another cigarette out. "Where the fuck are you guys?"

"Ten blocks away. We'll be there. Just a bit late. Go in without us." He ended the call quickly and Mickey rolled his eyes. He decided to just go the fuck inside. They should have air conditioning inside. And he was out of smokes by now anyways. The maitre d' eyed him wearily as he walked up and cleared his throat.

"May I help you, sir?" The dude's voice was nasal and pansy. Mickey beat guys like that back in the day just for looking at him.

"Yeah." Mickey cracked his knuckles by force of habit and the guy's eyes traveled to his tattoos. His eyes widened. Mickey didn't hide them. It wasn't boiling summer anymore but it was still fucking hot as hell. He did put on one of his nicer t-shirts. It was black and shit. "Got a reservation."

"What name?" The man put his fingers on the book in front of him and scanned for a name before Mickey said anything.

"Either Milkovich or Gallagher. Four people." Mickey told him putting his hands in his pockets feeling a bit annoyed. 

"Ah yes. Your reservation was for seven thirty. It's eight." The dude smiled at him but to Mickey it looked more like a fucking grimace. "We had to give your table away. I'm afraid you'll have to wait another twenty minutes for it to open up again. Also, I can't seat you until your whole party is present." Mickey scrunched up his eyebrows in a frown.

"Well, that ain't very fucking welcoming now, is it?" The maitre d' didn't even flinch at Mickey's language. Mickey scratched his head and the door behind him opened with Mandy coming through them. "You're fucking late."

"No shit. Izzy spit up on my dress. Had to fucking change it."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to walk around with vomit on me." Mickey had to physically restrain himself from rolling his eyes. "Why aren't we sitting?"

"They gave our fucking table away. And we gotta have all of us to sit." Mandy frowned and looked at the maitre d' who seemed to be a little more intimidated by the Milkovich sister than the Milkovich brother.

"You gave away our table?" She stalked over to his small desk and leaned on it with one elbow, shaking the wood in the process of doing so. "The fuck kind of people you are to do that? We made a fucking reservation."

"Ye-Yes but miss, you were late--" Mandy cut him off with a simple hand movement. She flipped him off.

"Not a fucking miss, asswipe. If I make a reservation, I expect that fucking reservation to be valid for at most an hour. Shit happens. I got a fucking baby that spits puke on me so I was delayed. As for the whole sitting as down only when the entire party gets here, that's bullshit. Not everyone can get in at the same time. Like I said, shit happens." She turned back to Mickey slapping the maitre d' with her long once again jet black hair. "C'mon big bro. Let's go somewhere fucking respectable." Mickey grinned at the outraged noise that came from the dude. He was an ass anyways. Mandy pushed him out the door and gave him a pack of smokes.

"Back to normal, I see."

"Fuck you. I'm looking for a job and it's stressful."

"Why you looking for a job?"

"That's why." She grimaced at the sight of her husband and her best friend running towards them covered in sweat from across the street but she just kept on walking . "He's a fucking genius but he won't get a decent job. What the fuck is up with that? How the fuck is that normal?"

"Why the fuck you asking me?"

"I don't even fucking know myself." She sighed and ran a hand through her long locks. Lip and Ian finally caught up to them and fell on the ground in front of them. Literally, flopped right there and then. Both panting heavily and their skins flushed deep red, sweat literally everywhere soaking through their shirts. Mandy scrunched up her face in disgust as she stepped over her husband.

"We're going Burger King, dumbass. Get the fuck up." Lip winced as she nudged him with the back of her foot. Mickey crouched down and smirked at his boyfriend who was dying.

"Need some help there, former GI Joe?"

"Fuck...You...." Ian huffed out.

"Sure, if you got enough stamina left in you." He grinned down at the redhead who glared at him. "You know, Mands. I remember the days when Gallagher could go couple times a day but now I'm lucky if I get some action during the week. Seems that military training was for nothing." Mandy cackled and threw her head back. The Gallagher men left behind as the Milkoviches went on their merry way to Burger King. Soon they were joined by the other two.

"What happened to the restaurant?" Lip asked still breathing heavily.

"Rich douchebags." Mickey answered bumping his shoulder into Ian's. "The fuck were you two running from?" Ian smiled bashfully at him.

"It's uh...I'll explain later." Mickey was about to inquire more when Mandy's voice stopped everyone in their tracks.

"Is that a fucking tiger?" Indeed there was a tiger licking its' paws a couple blocks away. "Why do I get the feeling you two had something to do with this?" Mickey noticed his boyfriend paling immediately and Lip's eyes twitch.

"Mandy. Shut the fuck up and back up as quietly as possible. Don't look at it directly. Don't make eye contact. Just back up." Lip whispered. "Everyone fucking back up. Back up!" They slowly moved back into the direction of where they came from and found a shitty diner when they turned a corner they could sit safely in for a while, the tiger disappearing from their line of vision. Mandy went straight to the very last booth and the guys followed as fumes were coming off her.

The diner was crappy. Looked like the Alibi. Only with a visible kitchen behind the counter and large windows opposite next to the booths. A teenage waiter came up to them looking bored as fuck.

Everyone shouted burgers at him before he had a chance to speak and Mandy glared at him when he tried. He scurried off with hands up in defence.

"The fuck did you do?" She hissed at her husband sitting next to her before slapping a narrow eyed look at Ian next to Mickey.

"We..." Ian groaned and rubbed a hand over his face. "We broke into a zoo."

"You....what?" Mandy asked, voice swimming in incredulity.

"It was a job for Jimmy. Kinda. He umm..." Lip looked around to make sure no one would listen in. "He's kind of selling meercats." Silence fell upon everyone as they all registered what was just said. "On the black market." Lip added. "To an dude from New Zealand."

A tumbleweed went past and the crickets chirped.

After five years of everyone being dead quiet, Mickey cleared his throat. All six pairs of eyes turned to him.

"How was the tiger involved?"

"We got caught." Ian said sheepishly.

"Of course." Mickey muttered under his breath.

"And the zoo keeper must have forgotten to lock the gate or something because the next thing we know there's a fucking saber tooth staring Lip in the face. My dear bro over there..."Lip puffed out his chest proudly. "....tunned the beast with a a shriek of the highest pitch."

"Fuck you, like you did jack shit." Lip kicked Ian under the table which of course was retaliated.

"I was busy getting the fuck away from a motherfucking tiger."

"Uh...." Mandy shuffled closer to Lip and pointed at the window where there was a tiger sitting and watching them with interest. As soon as it noticed them all staring, the tiger put its' two front paws on the big window which vibrated dangerously and started to lick at it. Mickey heard dishes break behind him as the diner staff realised a tiger was using one of their windows as its' own personal lollipop.

"Aww, fer feck's sakes." Mickey turned to find the woman with the strange accent. She looked acient and was glaring at the tiger. "Tommy, you call them officers and yer tell them they got another fecking tiger on the loose. That fecking window." She shook her head and turned to the teenage boy who pulled out his cell. "I'm too old fer this shit." The tiger kept on lickig at the windowwithout a care in the world and Mickey wondered why they haven't moved away in case the window would break. He told the other three and they immediately sat at the counter.

"D'you think this is what they feel like? Trapped. Stared at by millions." Ian said quietly to Mickey putting a hand on his knee. Mickey turned to the redhead.

"Gallagher. Those new fucking meds are making you hella philosophical." Ian looked over at him with a wide grin that was too amused for Mickey's liking.

"Since when do you say _'hella'_?"

"Since I got hella style." Mickey muttered and went back to staring at the tiger that was now rubbing its' head against the window. "Maybe he just wants someone to play with him." He observed. "I always wanted a pet tiger."

"You're not making him your pet." Ian said definitely. "He's going back to the zoo where they can take care of him properly. We can go and visit him but there is no way in hell, you're getting a tiger as a fucking pet."

"But he didn't do anything!" Mickey whined. "He's so lonely. Just look at him."

"That tiger nearly mauled my brother."

"Exaggeration." Mickey crossed his arms and pouted.

"Oh my God! No! This is not happening! You are not having a moment with a fucking tiger!" Mickey just stared at the tiger feeling sad.

"I'd call 'im Firebolt."He whispered to himself but Ian overheard.

"Like the broom in Potterverse?"

"Yeah. 'Cause he'd be _hella_ fast."

" _Hella_." Ian repeated amused.

" _Hella_." Mickey repeated convinced.

-.-

Somehow during the whole tiger fiasco and his boyfriend being an utter moron for breaking into the zoo, Mickey ended up in the public restroom of the diner with the said boyfriend bobbing his head happily on Mickey's cock. Mickey's fingers dug through now longer red hair. He had something he could grab onto whenever Ian fucked him and pulled him up. Ian hummed a pleased noise which sent vibrations all over Mickey's dick and made him moan.

"Fu..." He couldn't even finish the word as Ian's lubed up fingers (' _Huh? When did that happen?_ ') made their way to Mickey's hole and he inserted his middle digit. Mickey tightened his grip on Ian's hair as the man worked him from behind as well as in the front. "Fuck--You--Get on me, Gallagher." Mickey growled and Ian pulled back with a wicked grin, Mickey's dick falling out of his mouth with a quiet pop but his finger still inside the Milkovich.

"Thought I should be gentle. On this special occassion--"

"Ian, fuck me." Mickey whined manly but Ian's victorious giggle said something different and he bent Mickey over the sink. His pants down instantaneously and his cock lubed up. He didn't stretch Mickey's hole much but the older man didn't care. He needed Ian inside of him. Ian aligned his cock against Mickey's ass, teasing him for a moment and when Mickey glared at him in the mirror, the red head rolled his eyes with a smirk. 

He pushed inside of Mickey and the Milkovich man couldn't deny that the pain he felt wasn't his most favourite sensation. Ian should have eaten him out instead of sucking him off. And Ian's cock was fucking monstrous sized. Mickey's body was never used to how big it was. But then Ian did something small to remind him that he was there. That Mickey was okay. Like put his hand over Mickey's. Or kiss his earlobe lightly. Or murmur something to him in a soft voice. Or stroke Mickey's stomach and hold him close. 

All those little things Mickey felt uncomfortable with. But they didn't feel so bad with Ian. It felt good actually. And Mickey wasn't scared to admit it. He wasn't scared to tell Ian he loved him. He wasn't scared to kiss Ian in public. He wasn't scared to hold his hand. He wasn't scared going to the doctor's with Ian. He wasn't scared letting Ian back in. He wasn't scared of opening up to the man who seemed to be just as eager to let Mickey back into his own life. 

Ian slowly moved but Mickey growled at him to hurry the fuck up because he felt his balls would explode and paint the walls white. Ian just grinned and started to ram into the older man who closed his eyes trying to focus on how good Ian's cock was instead of the pain that was subsiding with each thrust. Soon Mickey felt Ian hammering against his prostate and Ian was saying things. He wasn't murmuring like usual. He was being loud and clear and fucking amazing.

"Fuck, you're so fucking hot. I just want to spread you on the bed and lick you all over." He grunted as he placed a hand on Mickey's shoulder. Mickey felt his dick twitch. "I want you so fucking much all the fucking time. You've got no fucking idea. D'you want me to make you come, Mick? Huh?" Mickey looked up in the mirror to see Ian stare at him with dark eyes filled with lust and small beads of sweat forming on his forehead. "D'you want me to make you scream my name like the little good boyfriend you are?" Ian's voice was dangerously intense mirroring his facial expression. Mickey thought he wouldn't last anymore. "D'you want me to tell you how much I love you when I make you come? D'you want me to do that to you, Mick?" If he wasn't on the verge, Mickey would definitely have hit Ian for being so fucking corny but those words made his dick twitch every single time. Ian pulled him up by his hair and stroked Mickey's cock with violent kisses to his windpipe pulling his head back, still hammering with thrusts into his asshole. "Come for me, Mick. Come for me like a good little boyfriend." He growled in between the kisses. Mickey spurted immediately with Ian's name on his lip, stars obscuring his vision, and the redhead having his own orgasm a second later. The cum from both men leaking everywhere. Mickey leaned into Ian and breathed heavily.

The redhead changed his violent kisses into soft ones against Mickey's jaw and leaned against the wall proping them up.

"We should clean up." Mickey muttered surprised he could find words in his very much blank head as Ian wrapped his cum-free hand around his waist pressing him closer. He made some noise of agreement but he didn't move an inch and laid his head against Mickey's shoulder. "Someone is gonna come in because we weren't very quiet and find both of us against the fucking wall with dicks out." 

"Don't care." Ian whispered. Mickey thought he should feel uncomfortable like that. His pants at his ankles and come covering them both. But strangely he was very comfortable there. Ian wrapped up around him. "You're a good little boyfriend." Ian smiled against his shoulder at Mickey's huff. "I love you very much."

"No shit, Gallagher. Same here."

"Same what?"

"Same thing."

"You gotta say it, Mick."

"Why?" 

"Because I want to hear you say it."

"Nah. I'll wait till you least expect it." Mickey grinned and turned his head to the side. Ian was glaring at him with his lips in a thin line. "Cheer up, Firecrotch. I got weed." He kissed Ian softly and unwrapped himself from the younger man trying to clean himself up. The redhead grumbled to himself about how his boyfriend was a loser which just made Mickey's grin wider.

-.-

Mandy high was the best thing ever. She would not stop laughing. She hasn't gotten high since her and Lip got married and this was some quality weed Mickey scored. Joey shoved it at him saying he didn't do drugs and that Mickey would probably use it better.

When Mickey raised an eyebrow questioning the other man where he got such good produce from, Joey blushing like the Holy Virgin Mary he was admitted to hooking up with a dude who sold joints to dumb prep school kids. Mickey laughed when he realised the dealer was actually Beck from Mickey's Little League. Beck was like a Carl. Psychotic. But Joey seemed to like him. So Mickey kept his trap shut. 

He fell relaxed against the wing as his sister giggled manically and started to run around climbing the jungle gym that was way too small for her adult like limbs. Lip was sitting beside him staring at his wife amused.

"Good weed." He told Mickey not taking his eyes off Mandy who was hanging off the ground by two fucking centimeters. 

"Yeah." Mickey nodded feeling buzzed. "Ian?" He looked at his boyfriend on the next swing. Ian held the joint to his lips for a while and Mickey couldn't stop staring. 

Ian Gallagher was by far one of the most beautiful things in this world. Especially at that moment. His cheeks hollow as he breathed in the smoke, his eyes half closed in the pleasure of the burn at the back on his throat. The light September wind tugged at his hair, covering his eyes and throwing light shadows at the top of his head. His chest like an armour. The sun falling over him making his hair even more fiery red than normally giving him a slight halo. He looked like a fucking archangel that Mickey's mother liked to tell stories about. She was crazy and fucked up in the head but Mickey couldn't help himself and think that this is what she meant. Because Ian looked fucking angelic yet like the biggest sin of the world. He was powerful. He was glorious.

He was fucking magnificent.

And then Ian turned those green eyes onto Mickey. He swung close to the Milkovich and probed his mouth open with his fingers tasting of metal from the swing chain. He blew the smoke into Mickey's mouth and Mickey felt like he would die. Ian never shotgunned him. Or vice versa. It was...erotic...dangerous and intimate.

"Marry me." Ian muttered still hovering above his face. Mandy stopped giggling and shrieked. The boys looked over to see her lying on the ground and rubbing her head. 

"Ow." Mickey was the first to get to her, telling himself that his heart was pounding because he was scared for his sister. Not because of what Ian fucking Clayton fucking Gallagher said to him. "Ew, blood." Mandy was pressing her right palm against the back of her head. Mickey slowly sat her up and looked at the damage.

"Pretty nasty." He commented. "Hospital?" Mandy rolled her eyes but nodded. Lip hovering uncomfortably behind them trying to take over but Mickey told him to fuck off as his sister put her left arm around Mickey's shoulder.

"S'fine, babe." Mandy threw at her husband. "Head wounds usually just look bad and they're nothing."

-.-

Mandy had a concussion. She whined about it but Lip took her home and whispered in her ear about the million things they could do to keep her awake. She perked right up at that disgusting Mickey who ran a hand over his face. The sky was dark as hell by the time he started walking back home, only aware Ian was walking behind him instead of next to him when he reached out for the redheads' hand. He frowned at the younger man.

"What's with you?" Ian wouldn't look at him. Just shook his head.

"Nothing. Let's go."

"Ian."

"I asked you to marry me." Ian spat out looking embarrassed as he did so. "On the playground. Before Mandy hurt herself. You remember?" Mickey nodded swallowing down the nervousness.

"Yeah, I remember." He bit his lower lip and looked to the side. "Didn't think you were serious." He was glad he wasn't looking at Ian because he could feel the man flinch with hurt.

"Oh." Ian said quietly. They stood in silence for a moment before Mickey pulled out a small envelope out of his back pocket and placed it firmly into Ian's chest. Ian stumbled backwards but he opened up the white pouch. A key fell into his open palm. He looked at Mickey confused and the Milkovich man dropped his head in embarrassment. 

"It ain't a marriage proposal. And it ain't a no. Just...one step at a time, Ian." Mickey scratched the back of his neck still firmly staring at the ground. "Yev said that he was okay with it. So you can officially move in whenever. Even though most of your crap is already there--" Mickey was pressed against the wall of the building with Ian at his mouth. Kissing him like there was no tomorrow.

"Fucking Mickey Milkovich." Ian grinned at him. Mickey felt himself grin back at how lit up Ian was. "Wanting to be official and shit." Mickey felt himself soften at Ian and leaned back against the wall just staring at the sight in front of him.

"I love you." He said startling Ian into another grin. "And I want you with me. For as long as it's fucking possible. Because I think we can do it. I think we can be happy together. So yeah, Ian. I want to be official and shit." Ian dipped his head lower and nipped at his bottom lip.

"You know..." He talked in between the soft kisses. "Since Yev is staying over at _Fiona's_ , we should christen _our_ home." Mickey grinned at the words feeling on top of the word.

"Fucking right." He muffled into the kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter is also a flash forward. 
> 
> But it is my favourite chapter of this fic.
> 
> It is honestly.....I don't have the words how happy I am with the ending.
> 
> You guys are awesome and amazing and rock my socks off.
> 
> See y'all on Wednesday!


	20. You Make Me Love The Things I Hate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is. 
> 
> Flash forward.
> 
> Flash backwards.
> 
> It's here.
> 
> I love this chapter so much. I don't have the words.
> 
> TW: mentions of 3x06.
> 
> WARNING: some derogatory terms used that I think shouldn't be derogatory but they are in the show
> 
> OOC characters

"Fucking hell." Yev swore standing next to his father who cuffed him at the back of his head.

"Language, you little shit." Mickey growled at him and turned back to whatever the fuck the twink's name was. He smiled nervously and chuckled fakely.

"S-so as-I was-as I was saying." The twink continued staring down at Yev's report. "Yevgeny is a very bright young man who--"

"Sorry, I'm late. The conference ran long." Ian placed a kiss on top of Mickey's head and a quick squeeze to Yev's shoulder. "Stupid new gym rules. Did I miss anything?" He pulled his tie off and the twink glared.

"Who are you?" Mickey raised his eyebrows at the tone the twink used. It was rude and almost territorial sounding.

"That's my other dad, you dip shit." Yev hissed at the twink. Mickey cuffed his son again whilst Ian sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You gotta stop fucking swearing, Yev. Especially at your teachers." The redhead said in a monotone voice like this was a conversation they have had many times. Yev shrugged and Mickey looked up at Ian with a smirk that clearly said ' _give up, it ain't ever gonna happen_ '. 

"As I was saying." The twink growled bringing back the attention to him. "Yev's academic career is immaculate but his personality traits and his constant abuse over authority figures is getting out of hand. It shouldn't happen in the first place. I'm very disappointed in his behaviour." Mickey leaned forward in his seat and Ian put a hand on his shoulder to keep him at bay.

"Douche. If you're fucking disappointed, then you go and get yourself some therapy. It ain't my kid's responsibility to fucking appease you." Mickey stood up motioning for the twink to give him the report. The twink looked utterly offended at the Milkovich man.

"Despite our coarse language, we're pretty great parents." Ian put his hand on the desk hovering over the twink. "And Yev's personality traits are getting him to Princeton. Now stop checking out my husband's ass and give us that fucking report before I throw this desk at your head, you little bitch." The twink scoffed but he handed over the piece of paper, flaring his nostrils. Ian smiled at him, all white teeth sharp. "Thank you." They walked out of the classroom with Mickey throwing his arms around his son's shoulders. It was a tad difficult to do so and very uncomfortable as Yev was already out growing him at 18.

"So, you disrespecting your teachers, now? Knew you were a Milkovich." Yev shook his head.

"No. I'm just disrespecting that guy. He honestly thinks because he did a two month course on English Lit during freshman year, he knows something about the subject. How am I supposed to learn if my teacher is an incompetent buffoon?"

"Yev, he's an adult." Ian interjected.

"So am I!"

"He's an adult and in a position of authority. He's right to say that you're being a little shit." Mickey sighed but nodded.

"Ian's right. Sometimes A holes are inescapable and you gotta shut your mouth and bear it. Now, where's that history prof that always says you rock? I could use a little ego boost over how fucking well I'm doing." Ian cleared his throat and raised his eyebrows at Mickey expectedly. "Fine. I'll share the credit." Yev's phone made a chiming noise and he beamed at the small screen. Mickey rolled his eyes as his son walked away from them with a grin but he didn't get a chance to complain as Ian was on him immediately sending the two men stumbling backwards against the lockers which rattled under the impact. Ian smiled softly at Mickey and run his thumb over the small stubble Mickey grew.

"I missed you this morning."

"Fell asleep at Joey's." Mickey murmured happily leaning in. "I swear. That fucker drinks way more with each birthday."

"Well, Yev's gonna be gone next year. He should celebrate at ours."

"Mhm." Mickey hummed feeling very content and closed his eyes as placed small kisses on his face.

"I like you when you're hangover." Ian let out a small laugh. "You're easily pleased."

"Yup. You're gonna have a fun time pleasing me tonight."

"I always have a fun time." A noise of disgust came about from Mickey's right and he opened his eyes to find an annoyed Debbie Gallagher glaring at them.

"The no PDA on school grounds rule isn't just for students." She hissed and Ian pulled a little away from the other man. His hand wrapping around Mickey's waist. Yev appeared with a grin on his face. 

"Miss Gallagher." He nodded at Debbie and turned to his parents. "Liam's roommate is finally gone so I can move in at the end of the month like we planned."

"Aw, you're all grown up and leaving the nest." Debbie teased but Yev just glared at her and she backed away with her hands held up. "Jesus, fine. Stop making out like a bunch of horny teenagers." She aimed at Mickey and Ian before scampering off. Mickey definitely _didn't_ feel a swell of satisfaction at the fact that Yev had his favourite Gallaghers and didn't put up with some others. Ian kissed the top of Mickey's nose before turning to the teenager who seemed to be back in his good mood.

"Isn't it exciting? Princeton." Yev said dreamily. "New Jersey. Maybe I can become a domestic like dad." Mickey cuffed his son again.

"One more remark like that and Liam ain't gonna see you for the next fifty years."

"Dungeon?" Ian asked.

"Nah, too much effort. Bottom of a well."

"I hate you both so much." Yev sighed dramatically and walked ahead of his two fathers who snickered behind his back and held hands in high school like the teenagers they never were.

-. **7 Years Ago** .-

Liam Gallagher was sitting on Yevgeny Milkovich's bed with his head hung low saying words that didn't make sense to Yevgeny Milkovich. A boy of eleven years old. Not understanding what a fourteen year old was saying. A boy who was his best friend. 

"I'm not good--I know I'm no good---I know I don't deserve--I know but I just--" Yev walked slowly from the door he just slammed in his aunt's face and put his arms around his best friend's neck tugging him close. Liam's voice slowly teetered off and he laid his head against Yev's shoulder, hands clutching onto the boy's back. 

"You remember when the boys at school broke my leg?" Yev said quietly still holding onto his friend. Liam made a small noise of acknowledgement. "I was really scared to ever go back in. Terrified. Because they have been mean to me but they never physically did anything. And then they did." Liam's grip on him got tighter. Like Yev was his own personal lifebelt. "The thing that made me crazy the most was that no one at school reacted or anything. And I started to think that maybe that I deserved it. That I deserved to be hurt. And then you told me something I've never heard before. You told me to fuck it all. You told me that I was awesome and that they were jealous of me." Liam sniffled into Yev's shoulder. "That's when I realized that I could probably never live without you in my life." Liam chuckle was muffled but audible. "I'm sorry I was an idiot." Liam pulled back and shook his head.

"You were...I'm the idiot. I'm sorry I'm dumb. I'm older. I should know better than to get jealous of...I get why you were defending them. Because they're your friends. They are like first people to accept you instead of being jackoffs. I get it. And I made it about me."

"Liam." Yev placed his small hands on both of his friend's cheeks. "I was a dickhead, you were a dickhead. We should just stop being dickheads and go back to being best friends. Those guys are fucking pricks and I don't need anyone else as long as I got you, dude." Liam's smile was watery and he hung his head low again.

"I really don't fucking know how I came to have someone like you in my life." 

"Simple." Yev shrugged. "My mom raped my dad and here I am." Liam's eyes went wide.

"What?"

"I met your dad yesterday on the way home from school and he shared a few interesting stories with me."

"I hate Frank. What did he say?"

"A lot. He knows a lot about my dad and Ian."

"Yeah, he's like a sponge sometimes." Liam eyes him warily. "You gonna talk to your dad about it?" Yev scoffed and laid on the bed, Liam next to him.

"Making my father talk about the worst day of his life? I may be young but I'm not stupid. I know what rape by proxy is. Read about it too much when I came home." Yev took a deep breath. "I know he loves me. I don't get how he does though. I mean, I must remind him every single day of what happened. And he still..." Yev's hand flayed around aimlessly and Liam grabbed it. Both palms sweaty.

"Just because something awful happens, it doesn't mean that something good can't come out sometimes." Liam whispered. "I mean, I snorted coke as a kid and now I'm great at soccer." Yev couldn't help the small giggle escape him.

"How are those two connected?"

"They aren't. I'm just really good at soccer." 

"Stop boasting, you doofus."

"Like so good. I swear I could be a pro."

"Why am I friends with you?"

"Because I'm fabulous." Liam deadpanned and Yev felt his body react automatically. He leaned forward and placed a small chaste kiss on the Gallagher boy's lips. 

"Yeah. You are." Yev smiled and laid back next to Liam who tightened his hold on Yev's hand. "We got so much to catch up on. Where do you wanna start?"

-. **7 Years Later** .-

Mickey grunted as he dropped another box in his son's new bedroom. It was red. Painfully red and he was sure Yev would barely spend any time in it. But for the teenager's sake he pretended to be dumb as hell and refused to think about his son's sex life. He was glad when Yev came to Ian about the sex talk and not him. But Ian wasn't any better because Yev announced that Liam, his little brother, was going to defile him in a proud tone at the age of seventeen.

"Dad, careful. I got all my comics in there." Yev hissed at his father.

"Why the fuck is it so heavy?"

"'Cause it carries years of Yev's emotional weight." Liam joked from the other room and Yev hurled a book at him which Ian caught before it hit him in the face.

"Son. Listen. I'm gonna tell you something." Mickey put a hand on Yev's shoulder. "This is some genuine gold advice from a father to a son so you better fucking listen."

"Dad, spit it out." Yev commented amused.

"When you get a job, steal stuff. But don't get caught. Because that sucks. Call me more than Mandy. That bitch has got her own fucking kid. Leave mine alone. What else?" Mickey scratched his head with his free hand. "Don't be afraid to be the big spoon. It doesn't make you any less manly. Liking faggoty shit, doesn't make you any less of a man. Just means you like faggoty shit." Yev rolled his eyes. "Listen to me. Be whatever the fuck you want to be. I'll love you nevertheless. Except if you get a fucking hamster. I don't like hamsters. Don't get a hamster."

"Yeah, I'm gonna get a hamster just to spite you now." Yev grinned at him.

"I'll murder it in your sleep and drown it down the fucking toilet."

"And I'll burn off your tattoos. We both can be cruel fuckers." Mickey grinned back at his son and hugged him tight.

"I love you, kid." He muttered in his ear.

"I love you too, dad. Thanks for being my father. And thanks for giving me such an awesome second parent." Mickey smiled and kissed Yev's cheek. 

"Fucking ace, right?"

"Fucking ace."

-.-

The drive back to Chicago was 12 hours long so Mickey suggested that they should stop over on their way back somewhere. With Yev it was easier because there were three drivers. Two slept whilst one drove. But there was no reason for them to force themselves to drive like that back. Especially since both men had a few days off to help with Yevgeny's move. 

So they stopped over at a frilly little Bed and Breakfast. But Ian took one look at it, said _'Fuck no. Please don't make me, Mick.'_ and they went to the cheap, shitty motel on the next exit. Sheets disgusting and barely washed. Crappy pizza that came two seconds later after they checked in thanks to Mickey. Something yellow making chewing noises in the corner of the room. It was perfect. It was them.

They fucked slow. 

They fucked fast. 

It was vile. 

It was poetic. 

It was shameless.

It was magnificent. 

The pure definition of Mickey Milkovich and Ian Gallagher.

Mickey leaned satisfied against the wall and took the spliff out of his husband's mouth earning a displeased groan from the other man.

"Fuck off." Mickey nudged his elbow with his knee. "Damn, this was good. I'm pretty sure you fucked my ass into the next dimension." Ian chuckled and swiped at Mickey's ankle.

"I'm gonna miss him." Mickey didn't need to ask to know who Ian was talking about. "It's gonna be so quiet without him."

"He'll come back. He'll Skype. Call. New Jersey is gonna get boring for him."

"It's not gonna be the same."

"I know." Mickey said annoyed. "I know it isn't. I...I don't know how...I could barely let him sleepover. Now I gotta..." Ian sat up next to him and peered curiously at Mickey's face.

"Let him go?" Mickey nodded. "You are a remarkable father Mickey Milkovich. You and I got a lifetime together. And to fill that whole we could always get a dog. Or a cat."

"Finally stopped with the another kid bit, eh?"

"Watching Yev leave was too painful." Ian shrugged and Mickey intertwined their fingers.

Over the past seven years, two separate lives changed drastically. The two joined together and fit so well like Yin and Yang. The two learned new things about each other. The reminisced together. They became one. 

Ian and Mickey married two years after they became a couple. A year and a half after Ian moved in. 

And then Yev asked for Ian to adopt him and become his second legal guardian a couple of weeks later. Which was a shock to everyone because Yev did it at a Gallagher dinner. Debbie made a noise of outrage, Carl snorted and Fiona fell off her chair. The only ones that seemed completely unaffected were Lip, Liam and Mandy.

"A dog would be cool." Mickey straddled Ian and nibbled at his desk. "I always wanted a pitbull."

"Eugh." Ian scrunched up his face. "No. Bulldogs. We're getting bulldogs."

"Why bulldogs?"

"Pitbulls scare me. Bulldogs are sturdier." Mickey chuckled and kept kissing lower and lower. "Mick, I would love to go again but I'm not a teenager anymore."

"Don't I fucking know it?"

"Ouch, hurtful." Ian laughed teasing him and pulled Mickey's head up to kiss him. "I love you so fucking much sometimes, you know." Mickey leaned back and stared at the green eyes that looked more hazel in the crappy motel light. 

"I know. Feeling is very much mutual." He pressed his lips against the younger man's and melted into the kiss humming happily. "Love you so much it hurts." He muttered into Ian. "You cut me and then you heal me like the fucking puppy you are."

"Puppies don't cut." Ian smiled into the kiss and dragged his nails over Mickey's ass. "Fucking douchebag." He smirked when Mickey bit his tongue lightly.

Ian and Mickey together forever.

Fucking ace, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no words over how much I love the people that have read this. And I fucking hate this fic because it took so much out of me. And I love it because it is my Gallavich baby. 
> 
> I want to say a special thank you to Mary who has been so magical and supportive over this. I couldn't have written this fic without you. 
> 
> You guys are all so incredible and make me happy and I just...I love all of you. So much love. Love love love. See you at the next fic. <3
> 
> And have a wonderful New Year.


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